Judging others is very easy as all you need to do is observe their activities and comment on them. This has a lot to do with a person’s mindset where he or she feels that it is imperative to pass judgment on others and the voice inside their head reminds them of all the things people have said to them or about them.
It is very difficult to accept that we judge everything about everyone from their clothes, to the way they look, to the way they talk and their actions. It is a thing which we do because we deceive ourselves into believing that we are better than others wherein it’s just what we do in our profession is what is different with everything else being the same. We are going to talk about everything about judgments, why they happen, what are the consequences of judgment and how can we stop them?
We are afraid to believe it or not we are intimidated by those around us when we are not talking to them, or they are not talking to us. This period of silence makes us admit our real feelings. Everybody is not the same, and we will always come across people who are better than us at something and find that we are better at something than other people do. This can either inflate or deflate our sense of self and make us criticize the other person or bitch about them.
We as a species thrive on attachment and are not on the same energy level when we feel we are not as close with our friends or colleagues. Our old childlike tendency is at play here where we make others feel bad because we have dwelled on what they said about us for too long and now are bitter about ourselves. Like infections feelings of bitterness are easily transmitted. Not just that, we fear loneliness.
Tennessee Williams, the great playwright, once said ‘When so many are lonely as seem to be lonely, it will be inexcusably selfish to be lonely alone.' There is all the truth there is about loneliness in this statement and when you build rapport with another person by criticizing someone else that relationship is not gonna stand the test of times.
One of the biggest problems of our times, well, to be honest, it has been a problem for all ages of mankind is that we are not okay with who we are. Thus, it is easy for us to convince ourselves what other people say about us to be true. The key to being okay with oneself is to block all negative energy from others and play down the mean things they say to us out of spite. This will help us restore peace with yourself and not attack our personality with the mean voice in our head therefore not being too harsh a judge of others.
#1. Depersonalize
What is the primal response of anyone who gets hurt? It is that they, in turn, hurt others or keep looking for ways till they finally find one to hurt others. This is very wrong because we take the thing personally which other people say because they are unable to mask the pain. Every adult has something or the other that is bothering them and this only results in the frustration piling up in head eager for release, and it’s okay if you see someone venting. Just dismiss it as their bad day and don’t look to seek revenge.
#2. Filter Thoughts
A lot of times, we tend to say the first thing that comes to our mind which is more irresponsible than wrong of us because we should consider all the things are just a figment of imagination in our head. A good mind is just a patient one. When we judge others we usually find ways to criticize them or focus all our energy to expose one of their flaws and worse when we are unable to find one we spread rumors to fabricate one. You need to practice thought control and whenever you think about another person just know to limit your thinking to facts and not stretching with your own imagination. Concluding every person, you come across with a smile will help you not judge others.
#3. Empathize
Empathy is all about putting yourself in anyone else’s shoes. Don’t you burn yourself in agony when someone says something about you which is really mean and for sure exaggerated? How will you feel when someone who doesn’t have all the information on you passes a negative opinion on you with such confidence that you doubt yourself? It can come from anyone including your loved one when the distance between both of you grows. One must never forget that the treatment we dish to others is the same we must expect from them.
#4. Facts and Projections
One must admit to oneself the truth at all times which is they need to acknowledge what exactly they have on the other person and how much of it is projected. Judging is a mostly negative exaggeration which should not happen at all as it is responsible for giving birth to stereotypes which isolate a group of people from others giving birth to enmity and differences when all there should be is love. Once you get determined about not using negative exaggeration as a tool to get rid of your own mental demons, you will for sure stop judging others.
#5. Growth Is Not Easy
The growth of any kind is not easy. It asks a lot from a person especially courage and patience as whoever thinks of scaling new heights overnight often comes face to face with reality. The environment one grows up in has its roses and its scars, no two people share the same roses and the same scars. One has to overcome hardships to rise from the setting they find themselves and are not content with. Once you realize who is more mature between the two, it won’t take you long to figure out the path that the other has to tread. There is no way to take judging completely out of your system as it is a thing that is inseparable from observation and facts at times, but it starts deceiving us when we become blind to facts and trust what we think of the person more than the facts.
#6. What Motive Does It Serve?
When we are children, we do need something to guffaw over that releases all our energy. Feelings of euphoria and hysteria are something we never really grow out of throughout our life. What we can do best is to curb them and use them only when we accept that it will be okay for them to be used at the moment when they are harmless. Laughing at others only promotes sickness in the soul as the memory it creates on their mind is one of unfair treatment. People often feel they are being degraded or mocked by other when people even innocently laugh at them or something that they did. This has caused endless people to become socially inert or drunk on hatred of changing themselves or the people who made such statements. It’s difficult to love everyone, we understand, but it is not difficult to not hate them or say something negative about them. Once we get to the part of asking ourselves this question we realize how futile saying something negative about someone is.
#7. Stop Giving Wind To Your Ego
Men often turn back on their fellow men when they are apathetic to them and feed things to their ego. Nothing separates us from our fellow men but just appearances and the environment we live in. It can make one imagine himself or herself to be of greater worth than one really is. One needs to make sure that the talents and skills which exceed that of other men are blessings that are supposed to take mankind forward and treat them as spectators to something they witness and enjoy watching instead of making them victims of not having the same skill. If a man treats others around him with any disrespect, he often earns the contempt of every member of the society but when he treats even the ones with not a similar skill set with respect thousands rise to defend him when someone belittles him. Ones who are content with themselves never feel the urge to bad-mouth others as they know ego is pointless and the governing quality of their personality is a sense of calm.
Have you ever been judged? Or are you the kind of person who judges everyone constantly? Tell us about it. Comment on the box below to share your opinions and thoughts with us. We would love to hear from you!
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One of my leaders, told me no one can stop judging others, but then what we can do is we can change the way we judge them as analysing them. I think one can stop judging other when we ourselves keep us in their position.
I like the 6th point as what motive it serves, it's about the intent at the end of the day.
Thanks, a good read for me