We all have that one friend we have been sharing our chocolate with since childhood. We meet various people in different stages of our lives and manage to strike a chord with them. As we grow up and develop our own unique personality, we tend to gel well with various kinds of people who share the same set of passions and thought process. We grow and change; we take up a different approach to life and become more mature over the course of time. But, there are some people and things that never change and remain very close to our heart.
This essentially is our relationship with our best friend or friends. There can be one person who you are very close to, or there can be a gang of people who you call your lifelines. We all surely have such close friends in our life, and they are no less than family for us. The best thing about having such a friend in our life is the fact that there is someone who knows each and everything about us and yet chooses to love us exactly the way we are. The level of comfort is unimaginable and the amount of joy we derive by spending quality time with them cannot be replaced by anything else.
What makes such friendships special is the amount of emotional bond that is huge. Such that, there is no space for any formalities. This makes it easy to share all the aspects of our life with these friends and also share all the crazy adventures we choose to be a part of. It is obvious that these people are aware of all those things we are embarrassed to reveal to others, they may also be aware of things and incidents our parents are not aware of. What makes best or close friends the best secret keepers is the fact that they will not judge us, not tell us what is right or wrong and will also share their secrets and untold crazy stories with us. The approach friends have is very different from what any other person will have towards us, this is mainly because they are usually of the same age, are going through the same phase in life, are facing the same challenges and often share the same interests.
Things that parents, other family members cannot relate to, are easily understood by close friends. This is the reason we tend to share the details of our life with them and are often very frank with them. We do not need to filter our opinion regarding anything and can tell them whatever our opinion is irrespective of it being negative or positive. We tend to become very dependent on our close friends when it comes to asking for any kind of advice and making some crucial decisions.
There are many positive aspects of having such close friends in our life; it is almost impossible to live a life where we are not able to make such meaningful relationships. But, we cannot rule out the possibility of some complications in such relationships that are long-term and have such deep bonding. There is always the issue of having various kinds of expectations from each other; there are things that might offend the other person because of their close emotional attachment to you. Each thing has its positive aspects and some negative limitations; this is how most things in life are. The best way to make sure you continue to have a great relationship with your close friends, there are certain things you will need to keep in mind. This is mainly regarding the things you choose to share with them and how you choose to tell these things to them.
Are you used to sharing all the information regarding your life and aspirations with your true friends? Do you find it hard to keep anything from them? Have you faced the repercussions of being too frank with them? Here are things you can keep in mind regarding all the things you should and should not tell them, and the positive side as well as the downside of doing so.
Things You Should Share With Your True Friends and why?
#1. We should definitely share our feelings regarding our romantic partner or the feelings we have for our crush. All the things related to the ups and downs of having feelings for a crush and the turmoil you face in the initial days of your romantic journey needs to be shared with your close friend. These initial romantic feelings are such that it becomes hard to figure out what is exactly going on in mind. In the initial stages when you are not in a committed relationship with a particular person, all these crushes you have and the new aspects of the romantic relationship that you discover needs to be discussed with someone.
There may also be cases where you are not able to get over your previous romantic interest, or you may be dating who does not really have a very impressive dating or behavioral record, in such cases it is very crucial to discuss your feelings with someone else. When we have a second opinion, it becomes easy to assess your own behavior and take the right decision. When we are romantically interested in someone, we often do not wish to see the very obvious details which may be red flags pointing to the upcoming adverse situations and all those things that are not right about the person. In such cases the opinion of a true friend who will be absolutely frank is crucial.
#2. We can share all those things about our personality and habits that may creep others out, but a close friend will always love us anyway. This is to do with all our regular habits that are a very crucial part of our life, but we are not very comfortable sharing it with most people. It can be your habit of wanting everything kept in place on your work desk or your obsession with cleanliness. It can be you haltered for winters and the fact that you do not like to sleep without a blanket no matter what the season is. These are the personal small yet important aspects of your life.
When you share such details with a friend you are almost spending all your day with, it makes the friendship stronger and also makes space for more bonding between the two of you. Keeping in mind the fact that such friendships last a lifetime, it will only pave the path for better understanding in the relationship.
#3. You start sharing such a rapport with this person that you both begin to share some inside jokes that most people are not able to understand. You can look at them and express some things for which you will not have to speak out loud. You may just have the expression on your face and your friend will understand. There are some things that you both are so used to sharing that you will not need to explain the meaning of certain code words or nicknames that have become a natural part of your conversations.
#4. You can share all your family related issues and all the difficulty you are facing when it comes to your family. At times we all face some difficulty from our family which becomes difficult to handle, at such times it is essential for us to have someone who will listen to us and sympathizes with us. There are times when our views and the views of our family are poles apart, and it becomes impossible for us to explain our point to them. During other challenges, we often run into our family for help and immediately find all the support we require. At a point of time when we have to ask for help to deal with issues that our family is the cause of, the best option is friends who are like family. These people know each thing about our lives and it will be possible for them to understand what we are going through. It is going to be easy for us to open up to them, keeping in mind the fact that we are talking about deeply personal and critical issues and it will require a good amount of ease and comfort between the two individuals having the discussion.
Things You Should Not Share With Your Close Friend And Why?
#1. If you find any of the habits of your close friend bad or unhealthy, it will be better if you do not discuss it too much. What this means is you can bring it to their notice and see how they react to it. If they are okay with it and promise to change it, that is a good sign. If they are not very happy with it, do not bring it up again. In both the cases, make sure you do not keep acting like their mother and giving them moral lectures at all times. Each person has some drawbacks; no one is perfect. Unless that is toxic and harmful to you in any way, it is better you just let it go.
If you constantly keep bringing the topic up, there are possibilities that you may drive them away from you and it will surely have a negative impact on your relationship with this person.
#2. You may be the first person your close friend will ask for suggestions when it comes to their love life and their choice of a romantic partner, but that does not mean you impose your opinion on them. If they ask for it, do give them an honest response but, leave the judgment part to them. This means if you dislike her choice and you have measured that individual according to the standards you are expecting, keep in mind the fact that different people have different expectations from their romantic relationship and romantic partners.
This is also to do with the idea that general things are kinds of stuff you can talk to them about but as soon as it is about personal preferences you will have to refrain from expressing your opinion and let them make a choice for themselves. For example, if the individual in question is rude and violent then it is safe to voice that opinion because being polite is a basic quality people need to possess. But if it is about their looks then you are better off leaving that to your friend.
#3. Please remember you are not the only friend your close friend or even best friend has. They may be having a bunch of other friends and may even share a good relationship with them all. Now, if you do not like some of them and they choose to be friends with people you consider your enemy or do not strike a chord with, do not share your opinion on that. You will need to keep in that your friend has the right to befriend any person they wish to and just because you were not able to strike a chord with them does not mean they will have to do the same.
If you both are true friends, nothing so trivial can ever affect your relationship. You will need to give them the space they require. You may be the best friend they have but, that is not the only relationship they have and how many other relationships they choose to have is completely up to them.
Are you dealing with a doubt regarding what to share and what not to share with your close friend? Do you often find yourself not able to decide the things you need to keep a secret from your best friend? Hope the above article will help you make the correct decisions regarding your dilemma. Please let us know about your opinion regarding the above article by leaving a comment below.
