What describes an independent woman?

Women and men don’t have equal say and rights in our society. ‘The men are accounted as a superior gender who earns bread for the family while women are liable of taking care of the home and the kids.’ Not at present! 

A lot has changed soon after and so were the statements; ‘men were accounted as a superior gender, now women are competing for their rights too and hold an equal stand and position in the society. Together they earn bread for the family and look after their home and kids’. In the prevailing arena women now hold an equal say and rights in our society, fighting out odds of few Orthodox communities and religion.

We all know how far women have progressed breaking the odds but what describes an independent woman? Gender equality? Equal rights? Earning bread? ‘Cliché’ describes an independent woman to be having a job, earning good money, paying her bills, owning a car, having her place to live etc … I came across an article recently that talked about how a woman can become independent. I rechecked the title and yes, it said: “How you can become an independent woman”? Without a second thought, I started reading it. What I came across was a little weird.It said for being independent a woman has to be strong, not literally by strong it meant they should learn to say no as they are perceived kind-hearted and are taken advantage of. 

But ‘kindness’ is a nature; one can change a hobby, but not nature, plus not every other woman is kind. It’s a preconceived notion to objective all women as ‘kind’. It further said a woman should stand for herself first and be blunt. That’s mean, to be rude and mean is not being independent. I couldn’t help myself laughing reaching the end. It said an independent woman should not compare herself to other women. I bet the article was written by some neurotic.

This topic ‘what describes an independent woman’ had a great influence and had moved me as a person or say as a woman. I too believed in the ‘clichés’ and wanted to find a job soon after marriage. I had to quit my job and move out of a metro city as my partner had a job in another. It wasn’t the best idea, as the city, we moved to lacked career opportunities for me. 

I was sure I wanted to work post marriage but never knew that I would become so desperate. Maybe because I wanted to live by the notion of self-dependency or maybe because I wanted to prove others more than myself that I am an independent woman with an understanding husband putting no boundaries.

I realized I had never been more depressed than I was then. Is having a job, paying her bills, owning a house or a car the criteria of being independent? No! Not for me. There are hundreds of women who work without having a choice; some are forced by their husbands or in-laws, some have to work to run their family income and some out of poverty. I understood I had the ‘CHOICE’; whether to work or not should be my decision and it is. ‘Having a job’ is not the classification designating an independent woman but choice.

While I wasn’t getting any work I choose adventure. Adventure in reading, finding love in photography, visiting places, watching movies, being idle, listening to music, sleeping, dining, loving myself, enjoying the simplest shower, food and this still is not all. 

A working woman is not the one defining an independent woman for me, someone who can choose how to live and find pleasure in her decisions is one hell of an independent woman. I choose to be the ONE!