Your relationship may have begun with a lot of excitement, or it could have been an arranged affair. You have realized that you do not like your husband anymore. But the question arises that what should you do when you do not love your husband anymore? Should you stay or leave the relationship? It is a difficult decision. You may have been living with your spouse for a long time and leaving them can be a huge transformation in your life. When you live with someone, you get used to their presence no matter if you love them or not. They become a part of your life and taking that part away can be emotionally distressing. It can be even tougher if you have kids. Your children will not understand that you want to separate because you are not in love anymore. The children believe in love because of their parents. For them, they will always be together around them. The idea of a happy family will become a lie for the children. Divorces affect the children the most making them vulnerable to depression and prone to hatred. The children will face a split which can hinder their mental growth. However, you should not also restrict yourself just for the sake of a family. There is no family if your heart is somewhere else. You cannot pretend for too long to love your spouse when you don’t. So, what should you do when you don’t love your husband anymore?
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#1. Communication Is The Holy Water. Drink It Everyday
One of the reasons why we feel disconnected in a relationship is the lack of communication. When we do not communicate our needs and feelings, we simply ignore our presence in the other person’s life and their presence in ours. A partnership is nothing without two people coming together to make their life better. If you do not tell each other about your requirements, they will never fulfill them. If there is something that you are angry about, then talk about it. Have a conversation with your husband about your feelings and try to know theirs. They may be in love with you, or they may have mutual feelings. Perhaps if they are on the same page, it will be easier for you to take a step. Talk to them about everything that happens in your day and hear what he might have to say about it. He may be waiting to hear from you. Maybe you do not like him anymore because of his habits or something that bothered you. Speak to your spouse about it, and they may try to change themselves or clarify the misunderstanding. Your dislike may be temporary and may have caused due to some issues unaddressed for a long time. Do not run away from the situation. Try to resolve the issue, and maybe you will realize that you still love them.
#2. Write Down His Good Qualities
A lot of marriage counselors suggest couples seeking counseling to find out each other’s good qualities. They ask the couple to find out what they like about the other partner. The exercise helps the couple to realize that their spouses are not so horrible after all. They fell for them for some reason. Try to uncover the reason you fell for your husband and see the difference. When you look at their positive side, you will start liking them. You will remember all the good memories you had with them and how those memories tickled you every time you thought about them. Write those virtues down somewhere and read them every day. Notice all the things he does for the family and you. If you want to save your marriage by giving one more try, then this is the best idea. Praise your partner for every good deed which will make your partner feel special, and they will do the same for you automatically.
#3. Try To Spend As Much Time As Possible
Take out time from your busy schedule and arrange a date with them. When you have confessed your feelings, your partner may help you in saving the marriage. When you do not spend time with someone, you lose contact. You do not know what is going on in their life and what is possible in their heads. Spend time with each other and get to know the things you have missed while you were away. When you are at home, you do not get to spend time alone if you have your parents or children at home. It is important that you spend time with each other alone. Plan dates twice every month somewhere away from home. And do not avoid meeting your partner just because you feel you do not like them anymore. If you loved them once, then you can love them again. Do not lose hopes and keep working towards your relationship. Do not miss a single date and the chances are that you will enjoy spending time with them.
#4. Bring The Bedroom Chemistry Back
Losing physical contact can be one reason why you feel that you don’t love your partner. If the bedroom romance is missing, then you should bring it back. Sexual intimacy is vital to a relationship’s existence. If you have lost sexual chemistry in your relationship, then the possibilities are that you do not feel attracted to your partner. There should be a physical attraction between the partners. So, bring the old bedroom chemistry back and work on building an amazing sexual chemistry in your relationship. Try to tease your partner so that they want to come close to you. Bring your old charm back and attract your partner towards you. Don’t be easy after you have caught their attention. Let them chase you and slowly things will fall right in the place. Couples may sleep together, but they do not make physical contact. Always talk to your partner before sleeping and have some intimate moments which can increase the excitement and can relax your bodies.
#5. Talk To Someone About It
If the 'I don’t like my partner anymore' thought stresses you then talk about it to someone who can understand. Talk to your best friend or your parents about it. They will understand your situation and they may suggest you the right thing to do. Your parents may be a better choice because they have been married and they might have learned more than you about marriages. But do not stick to what your parents advice you. They may be wrong because they will never fully know what kind of relationship you have with your spouse. You can talk to them if you just want someone to listen to you but if you seek advice, then it would be better to talk to a marriage advisor. If you are thinking about divorce, then do it in peace. Keep all the aspects of your relationship in mind. Are you ready to move on?
#6. Take The Final Call
After trying everything to repair your love for your husband, if nothing still works out then you can take whatever decision you feel is right for you. Your final call should be solely your decision without being influenced by what your parents, your friends, and your children think. If you cannot live with a man who you are not in love with, then there is no point wasting your life with him. You can always go for a divorce. But if the love comes back then there cannot be anything better than that.
Do you feel that you don’t love your spouse anymore? What do you think should be done when you do not like your husband anymore? Share your views/opinions with us in the comments section below. We would love to know your thoughts.
(Image Courtesy: 1. Water For Whispered, 2. She Knows, 3. Relate Institute, 4. Very Well: Cross Walk(Featured Image Courtesy)
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