It may feel that your marriage is on its last legs when you and your husband don’t communicate actively. This may happen because your husband thinks that not talking much is something that you can handle while you only suspect that something is wrong as the way in which the relationship functioned has changed and less communication is bothering you more than your husband believes. It could also be the other way around with your husband not content with less communication while you think that less communication is okay and nothing to be agitated over.
Either way one of you has changed his/her behavior which has made both of you feel that the same connection is not there and this is hard to deal with as change always brings out our fear and doubts. Our responsibilities change with time, and we try to reach the best of our potential doing more than before, but this can often drop our level of attentiveness and insightfulness which we displayed when we wanted to win our partner over. Marriage is a victory for the romance and care you invested in your relationship, and it can easily be a loss if you don’t hold up your end of the bargain.
#1. Limit Your Controlling Behaviour
It is very important that you limit your controlling behavior as it can make your spouse emotionally distant after repeatedly feeling like you need to watch what you do at all times and even think before acting that whether your partner will lambaste your action or not. In most relationships, partners, who usually want to have the upper hand, invariably get it but there are relationships in which partners live and love with the understanding that commands and rule the relationship. They tend to flow through both the partners as both of you will slip and be in need of commands from the other one. If you set the terms mutually which both of you don’t have any trouble following then, the chances of you criticizing and controlling your husband will be reduced to a bare minimum just like that.
#2. Sex It Up
Sex is one of the most sought-after need which we don’t have another substitute for as nothing reconnects us with our primal self like sex. Couples who have an active and good sex life are more connected to each other and are not quick to argue and fight as they are not filled with sexual frustration. A surprise act when your husband comes home from work or waking him early in the morning for some steamy hot sex is never a bad idea if there is pent-up confusion that has been bugging him. Sexual release at such times is essential in helping him express what he is thinking about and not able to get an answer for.
# 3. Boost His Confidence
All of us grow anxious from time to time and can feel down real down where we start questioning ourselves to the point of achieving inescapable distress. You need to be able to gauge the mood of your husband at all times so that you know what he is going through and can help remind him about past success that he feels when the moment is unattainable. He can speak all about luck, destiny and the odds stacked against him but your words about hard work and perseverance will help him rediscover his lost passion and energy to dedicate himself totally to what he does.
#4. Help Them Take A Trip Down The Memory Lane
Both of you have been unhappy for a long time, and this is because both of you have changed so much so that it feels like you are not the kind of person you were before. One of the strangest reasons for experiencing marital discord is that we convince our own selves that marriage is no longer enjoyable because we are not interested in the same things in which we were before. You can stop your husband from convincing himself that there is discord between you and him preventing him from taking a step that will destroy your marriage by helping him recollect his funny moments and how he bled passion at will blocking all negative and sad thoughts with his positive approach.
#5. Thank Him
It is your job to make him feel appreciated because a lot of husbands may feel that they are in a thankless position in the family as all the members see him as a provider of all and the enemy of all. This may make him bitter and put a lot of pressure on him when he gets in the mindset which poses a question that asks him, is he doing his best or is he failing everyone around him? You need to appreciate him for what he does so that he gets that push from the affirmation that he is a good man who does good deeds and does not doubt his self-worth.
#6. Remove Feelings Of Inadequacy
When your husband feels inadequate, it may be because he is unable to achieve success with a plan he made and thought is flawless yet the implementation of which did not bring him the kind of luck he thought it would. When we don’t succeed in what we want to succeed in, we lose faith and hope that we started with so it is very important to remove feelings of inadequacy by telling your husband what all he does well. You can tell him that who will put the heavy stuff in the cellar if he wasn’t there or tell him who will teach me the techniques of releasing the clutch and pressing accelerator slowly so that I don’t have a lot of fender benders to worry about. When your husband is not like himself, it is certain that you will feel disconnected with him, so you need to use your mind and the data you have gathered on your husband with his repeated behavior and know exactly what he is like and what he is not.
#7. Write Down Things That You Are Not Okay With
Marriages, which have once been perfect, even they go through troubled times. Most people are egotistical in nature which means that they have a certain structure that they have established when they interacted with their surroundings and time and again their surroundings will change which will force the structure that they have developed to either allow these changes or resist them. When we resist them, we become angry and intolerant. Some things just displease us while others hurt us, it is often that we accuse our partner of being insensitive when he reveals something personal or when he doesn’t include us in his plans or lies to us about something. There is no reasonable explanation for this apart from the one that your husband has made himself bitter over something you did, and his inability to forgive you for this has reinforced the resentment he has in his heart. When both of you write down what has been bothering you, you will be surprised to see that by just confiding in each other you have achieved harmony again as your husband sees that he is not the only one who gets irked and is reunited with the truth, that love consists of both rule and surrender.
#8. Forgive Them And Get Forgiven
Your husband will irritate you at times and you will irritate your husband at times, this is the truth which the sooner you acknowledge, the happier you will be as it will build your capacity to forgive and create one if you don’t have it. All of us can be completely unforgiving, but that is something which will only come to bite us back as we cannot always remain in a position of strength. Your husband may have done something that is just a minor thing but if your reaction to it is an exaggerated one, he may feel bad about it to an extent where his ego battles hard with the guilt and asks you to part ways with him. You can also do the same thing if he overreacts so the best thing to do here is to sit down and talk about your baggage and the emotional problems that you are facing right now. Tell your husband and let your husband tells you that it’s not as big an issue as your head is making it.
Tell us what you do when you feel disconnected with your husband. Drop Comments in the comment section below.
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