Having parents who support you through everything is a necessity for every child. But what would you do if your parents do not approve of anything that you do? They are the first ones to discourage you when you set out to do something new in your life. It is really difficult to pursue your goals when your parents do not back you in it. It can shake your beliefs and make you a really unstable person when you grow up.
Had it been your friends, it would have been comparatively easier for you to cut ties with them if they discourage your plans. But when it is your mom or dad who has become poison in your life, how do you throw them out! You want to turn your life around and are prepared to set up an entirely new business, but you cannot expect them to boost you with your strategies. They will instead have a negative thought for you. You do not need their negative vibes before you even start out what you think is the turning point of your life.
Being an independent person in your 20s is difficult and if you do not have supportive parents, you will have to bear the constant accusations of being a failure as well. As if dealing with your new career was not enough. It becomes really frustrating and painful at times when you realize that you are all alone in your life. But despite all this, you should remember that you can do it and you will. You do not need the approval of your parents to go on with it. They will probably not understand why you have made such a risky decision in your life. It is you who knows that this risk is the only thing that can bring you closer to your dream job. They will probably cut off sources of money for you or give constant reminders of how your neighbour is doing so well on the job that you left. But hold on and take a deep breath. Whether it is a job or some other thing you want to pursue, your unsupportive parents will end up ruining your day. Just know that being alone and making ends meet on your own will make you stronger and more prepared for the future life.
It would definitely be an ideal situation if you had the aid of your parents with you. But if living or talking to your parents seem like a painful thing, you should simply stop doing that. You cannot force them to support you. If they do not understand the person you want to be and love you for it, then they are not worth the effort. You have to make some amends in your life in order to make it better for yourself. We will help you with some tips to deal with your life if your parents are not supportive.
#1. Embrace Your Emotions
There is no point in avoiding the pain of having unsupportive parents. It is okay to acknowledge the fact that you do not have them behind your back even in your challenging times. Let yourself feel sad for some time and maybe let out some tears. Consult a counsellor if need be and share your thoughts with them. It will be beneficial to come up with a strategy to bear the difficult times. You will be able to cope up with the situation in a better manner if you welcome the emotions that you have.
#2. Set Limits
If you want to maintain a relationship with parents who do not support you, you have to set some limits to it. They might play mind games with you while having conversations with you. So you need to stop them right there and let them know that you will not tolerate such behaviour anymore. Do it immediately so that you point it out to them and let them know that they should not say these things to you. Be polite about it and give them reasons to understand why you are setting boundaries. This will help you have a normal discussion with them without their words making you feel horrible about yourself.
#3. Do Not Get Manipulated
Parents might end up messing up with your own thoughts but be careful that they are not able to manipulate you into believing them. If you know that what they are saying is not right, then keep that thought in your head. If you notice them playing games with your mind, back out of that conversation quickly. Otherwise, you will end up listening to accusations where they call you useless while comparing you to others. They might even blame you for their unsupportiveness. But try to not allow yourself to believe these things. Remember your goals and ask your parents to stop being negative in conversations with you.
#4. Live Your Own Life
While this emotional turmoil will make it very difficult for you to have a healthy and happy life, but do not give up all hope. Your parents do not have to be the only source of happiness in your life. Hangout and party with your friends. Enjoy your life and go on a vacation if needed. Focus your energy on your career and relationship. They can be the ultimate source of love and encouragement in your life. This way you will not feel so bad about having unsupportive parents.
#5. Avoid Reacting
Over the time, you can learn to be with your parents while not getting disheartened by their negative words about you. You can simply learn to ignore them when they come up with something that stops you from pursuing your dreams. Try to listen to them without letting them get to your head. Just smile and nod. Once they are done, you can continue doing what you want. Feeling hurt by their behaviour all the time is not very helpful for you. So just stop reacting to the negative vibes they are sending your way.
#6. Stop Being The Victim
Do not keep admitting to them and feeling distressed needlessly. If your parents are not doing their part like they should, you need to take control of your own life. If your parents fail to provide you with the basic necessities of life, get a part-time job so that you can do it for yourself. Cook food and eat it on time if they are not doing it for you. Do it to prepare yourself for the time when you move out of the house.
#7. Do Not Try And Change Them
It is a wastage of your time and effort if you try again and again to educate them about your aims in life but they still end up saying the same disheartening words to you. You can only do so much to make people know that you are going good and do not need their opinion. Stop praying that your parents are going to change for better. They will be the way they are and it is the time that you determine who you want to be.
#8. Glorify Yourself
You do not have to feel disheartened for the absence of comfort from parents. You should celebrate the achievements you had in your life without the backing of parents. Make a list of all the things that you made through in life. Keep a notebook where you record every good thing you do in your life. You can write about getting a new job or getting a raise. Read this list when you feel like bursting out on your blue day. This list will keep you motivated to keep moving.
#9. Avoid Blaming Yourself
Stop going down the sorry lane where you blame yourself for everything that goes wrong in your life. You at some point, start believing that it is your fault if your parents do not approve of you and your decisions. But you should stay away from that thought of yours. It is not your mistake that your parents are acting that way. Replace your glum thoughts with some really great thoughts. Give some credit to yourself for dealing with this situation without their aid.
#10. Make Other Connections
If you cannot make your parents act as supporting pillars of your life, it is time to let your friends do that for you. Be with people who believe in you and your life plans. They would be able to encourage you when you are having second thoughts about a decision. You will feel an emptiness in your life if you have unsupportive parents. But you can fill that gap with other people who love and support you. You can join various groups or clubs to meet new people and create a good connection with them.
Do you also have parents who do not support you with your life decisions? How do you deal with it? Let us know in the comment section.
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