A relationship consists of two people, and it is usually observed that one person is likely to be more dependent on the other, mostly in terms of emotional needs. When one person is in a codependent relationship, it becomes very difficult for the other person to catch up to his level. When the two people in a relationship are not on the same page, differences are bound to occur. When a person is codependent on his or her partner, the relationship sometimes appears to be one-sided. The person depending on his or her partner emotionally or in financial terms is often perceived to be low on self-respect and self-esteem as well as emotionally weak. They expect their partner to be present with them at all times and have very little to give in return, except for their undivided attention, which they also expect in return.
A codependent relationship has two sides to offer. If you are in a codependent relationship, you are either on the receiving end of an unending emotional turmoil where you find it hard to respond with the same amount of emotional energy as the person is so dependent on you. He/ she will want to spend every waking hour possible with you even if it’s about being there, just existing. Another side involves where you are the one just giving and giving and do not receive any emotional attachment or response, in return no matter how hard you try. It’s almost like being in a one-sided relationship sometimes.
Fixing a codependent relationship can be a tough call as there is usually no way where you can convince a person to sync his emotional needs with yours. If he or she can only provide you attention specific to his needs, then that doesn’t mean that he or she cares less for you but that the person believes more in space rather than clinging around all day long like he or she owns you. You can either walk away from such a toxic relationship where you feel too bounded to your partner’s restrictions or if you feel like your feelings are not being reciprocated in the same amount of manner as you expect them to.
If most of the times, you feel like your life revolves around your partner and your every move is based according to their comfort, then you might be too dependent on your partner, or at least more dependent than he is towards you. If you always go out for a movie on the day that your partner can without paying a little heed to your comfort and you still want to go out with them, then you might be too dependent on them in terms of emotional value.
If you are too insecure and feel like you must avoid mistakes from your side at all costs just because the fear of losing them is way too high, then you might be way too dependent on them than they are on you. You or your partner might get too paranoid if you stop talking to them for a little while after a fight and will make endless attempts to get back to you on the matter and apologize, even if it’s not their mistake.
You consider them as some sort of god and praise everything that they say. Even if you sometimes disagree on some point and get in an argument, chances are that you are the one by the end of the fight to surrender to your partner’s decision. Fixing such an issue can be very difficult as the insecurity rooted in the dependent partner’s mind is way too deep and eradicating that can be tricky. They also tend to convince themselves that the other person loves or likes them to the same extent as they tend to do and usually turns a blind eye or find it hard to accept within themselves that your better half may just not be that much into you.
Usually when a partner realizes that his or her better half will succumb to his or her every need, they tend to manipulate every conversation according to them. The dependent partner usually tends to get dominated and manipulated way too easily in these cases.
If most of the time, you find yourself anxious as to what’ll happen after a fight with your partner and sleep every night with the fear of losing them the next day, then maybe it's your cue to either break things off or talk to them about it.
If you find yourself constantly making sacrifices just to please your partner and your mood changes according to theirs, then you might be too emotionally dependent on them. If you also find it difficult to say no to their every wish, and not just out of love, then it’s high time you get the hint.
Before coming to a conclusion, ask yourself one last question. Do you sometimes feel like you are not given the respect you deserve in the relationship and sometimes somehow feel trapped under their opinions and choices forced upon you but you, still find it difficult to speak up against it just to keep them happy or not to piss them off? Then, you know it all!
Or more like, can you fix it? Sometimes the differences are way too big to handle, and when you finally realize where you have been or what you have been treated like, there is little you can do except walking away from that relationship. But in situations such as marriage where walking away seems to be the last option to take, there are still some ways in which you can fix your strained relationship. If your partner has realized his/ her mistake and has promised to give you as much attention as you deserve, then here are some ways by which you can save your failing relationship.
#1. Talk To Your Partner
If you feel like you are being a victim in your relationship and not being treated with the respect you deserve or that you are way too emotionally bounded towards your partner that he or she is to you, then maybe it’s time to talk it out with your partner. You can talk about it with your friends too but start by talking to your partner, as it’ll give you a clear and honest view of what their opinion is on the matter. You become so self-absorbed in the relationship that maybe you just forgot to ask them what they want from this relationship. Talk to them and respect their views.
#2. Stop Revolving Your Life Around Your Relationship
People who tend to be too emotionally attached to their partners usually have a subconscious perception of the fact that their lover is the most important person in their life, often turning a blind eye to their own goals in life. If you happen to do the same, then maybe it’s time to think about it and making your own goals and comfort a priority. If you find yourself being a part on the other side of the tunnel, then it’s high time that you explain to your partner how things aren’t going to work this way and set some boundaries or space mutually.
#3. Try Not To Lean On Them
Emotionally and monetarily. Some men and women, mostly women, tend to depend on their partners in terms of spending whenever they go out on a date. This is not chivalry but depending on your partners financially. Become self-independent and split the bill whenever you guys go out for lunch without just leaning on them to spend the bucks. He is your boyfriend, not your cash machine or sugar daddy.
#4. Make Yourself A Priority
People who tend to be too dependent on their partners tend to run low in terms of self-efficiency and self- respect. Also, by succumbing to your partner’s every need, you are just proving the point that you do not respect yourself and your comfort, choices, and opinions enough. If there is no hope in the relationship for things to get better, respect yourself enough to walk out of it. If that sounds too extreme, then at least respect yourself enough to let your partner know what is bothering you and how you wish to deal with it, until you find a substantial solution.
#5. Talk To A Friend About The Situation
Just to be clear that this is not something just in your head, talk to a friend and confirm the situation. Sometimes people just tend to overthink every single thing, and when your partner exclaims that he or she is keeping busy with work these days, maybe you should just trust them instead of jumping onto conclusions.
Here are some ways in which you can identify a co-dependent person or a relationship and a helpful guide on how you can fix it! Leave a comment if you think this article was helpful!
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