It is not easy to choose a single person for yourself when you are attracted to both at once until you commit you have the right to play the field just like them. You have to not give away any signs to one or the other until you have made the final decision.It is next to impossible not to have a little heartache when you make your final decision, but you can trust your gut to make the best choice for you.
Attraction is a constitutive part of our nature that can be out of our control at times, and we need to address our own attraction sooner or later so that we don’t let it blindly rule us. It is often that you admire different qualities about each of them and you don’t have to feel bad about it as you are a multifaceted person with varying aspects and interests so you need just to evaluate who will serve your needs better and whose needs you can serve better. Read here how to choose between two guys?
#1. Classify The Qualities
It is very important that you classify the qualities of each guy before you make a decision that will affect you in the long-term. It may be that both of them are honest and hard-working, but one is rude and coarse in his conduct when interacting with people he cannot gain from whereas other exudes compassion and patience whenever he is involved in both social and material interactions. You can make a list and compare them quality after quality till you get the decisive factor in choosing what’s best for you. Don’t go out on a guilt trip of hurting the other one you do not pick as both of them expressed their interest in you giving you the power to choose.
# 2. Make A RoadMap
Ask yourself what the ultimate goal of your relationship is and you will realize that nothing else will matter to you as much as happiness. To live a long and satisfactory life you need to be healthy and laugh more than you cry and for this, you need a partner who is compatible with you. You have to know what kind of lifestyle does the guy want and what are his career goals along with the kind of family planning he has done. These things when not agreed upon can cause a big conflict in your relationship causing irreconcilable differences.
# 3. Convey Your Demands
When you are giving time every week to both the guys, you are conveying you are interested and men often go out of their way to woo a girl they really want to be in a serious relationship with. You will be pleased to see what all they are doing just to get you to confirm your feelings for them and this is a good chance to push them to their limits. You have to be really careful in telling them what the other guy has done for you, and you can use what he has done to prompt the other guy into doing more just to see who desires you more. You can refer to the second guy as your friend’s boyfriend and the gesture that floored both you and her as a veiled attack asking the first guy to step up his game. You can do this till one of them makes a gesture that you know is the gesture
# 4. Look For Deal-Breakers
A lot of women often overlook the deal-breakers at the start of a relationship when they are too enamored by the guy and not noticing the deal-breakers costs them later. It could be some trouble in their family or an overly involved ex-girlfriend who they don’t tell you about. It is always a good idea to enter a relationship after learning everything about the guy. If you come across big skeletons in the closet, it will seriously affect your relationship.
# 5. How Do They Handle Real Life?
The vicissitudes of life test the best of us, and some episodes make us question our entire existence where we risk developing negativity and despair. Do they shun the world around them when they meet with failure and how do they celebrate success? You cannot make a quick decision about a long-term partner as you have to see their responses for yourself. If the guy is ill-tempered and bitter all the time and doesn’t compromise on his pride in the wake of a moment should take it away he won’t be able to handle the struggles of life aptly unlike another guy who recognizes his mistake and alters his behavior.
# 6. Is He A One Woman Man?
Men can be deceptive and manipulative when it comes to disclosing what they really want and it is no shocker that cheating is one of the serious sins when you are committed to someone. He may say things that he will never cheat on you or that he doesn’t fancy anyone other than you, but you have to check it for yourself. Is there a covert look at other women when he passes them, or they pass him? The desire he has for you is it just a desire for intimacy or is it a desire that no one else can meet? These things have to be answered before you make your decision and with patience, the answer will come.
# 7. Be Honest
You need to really search for signs in your feelings to know what to make of them. If the guy makes you feel special on a day and then unwanted on another day, you need to give both you and him time for the feelings to be processed and form a pattern. After that, you need to study the pattern of his feelings and yours and consider the gap that will be in your life if they leave you or you leave them. Some men may cause butterflies in your stomach while others will cause you to become uneasy after a while, this is your subconsciousness telling you that you cannot fool the stuff you are made of so always be honest with yourself and take steps that serve your self-interest as others around you do the same.
# 8. Make Deductions
Who do you hope has texted you when you receive a notification? Who do you hope is at the door when it rings? Who do you want to be present with you when you go shopping and who do you think about before going to sleep at night? There is only one reason you are burning with these questions, and it is that your heart has already picked the one for you.
# 9. Speak To Your Friends
Speaking to your friends is the best way to get that much-needed advice when you are finding it very difficult to pick one guy. Your friends will make those judgments for you which you were afraid to make comparing the guys on looks and how much they make to how they behave on the internet and it will be refreshing to know the stuff they can come up with is blunt and brutal. It is very difficult for us to be blunt and brutal when we are actively involved with someone but our friends can help clear our head and their input will help us in making the right decision.
# 10. Go On Multiple Dates
Don’t be the kind of person who is shy to make moves; you need to set the record straight with the guys who have feelings for you and the ones you have feelings for. You need to see them behave in a social setting with you as this is the person you are going to go out with. Often people change their attitude and behavior when they don’t meet you in preferred places. When you have already gone on single dates with each of them, you can invite them to a party or ask them to take you to a party to which they are invited to know how other people react when they see you two together. This can give you a glimpse into how your life will be from now on when both of you talk with others and the conversation does not disrupt your harmony then your relationship will thrive. However, if anyone of you puts the other down or starts bashing your shortcomings and the things they don’t like about you then you cannot go forever.
# 11. Tell The Guys
When you finally zero in on the person you have chosen, it is very important you let them know about your feelings. It doesn’t have to be an over explanation as to why you are doing what you are doing but an action that tells other people that they are or are not involved in your life. If you tell the guy you want to see about a future plan, they will know that the relationship still exists. On the other hand, you can tell the guy you don’t want to see that you have to be at other places a few times till they get the idea that the relationship is over.
Tell us about your trials and tribulations while choosing between two guys and share in our comments section below.
10 Opinions
