How to cope with a Secretive Relationship?

Are you in a secretive relationship? Does your partner hide you from other’s eyes? A secretive relationship can make a partner feel insecure. There may be multiple reasons for keeping the relationship a secret. Some people like to maintain their private life unknown to other people. There is no harm if one person does not want to disclose their personal information with other people. In fact, it sometimes helps a person to protect their partner from a possible threat from an ex. People enjoy privacy because nobody can comment about them and nobody can judge their relationship. The relationship stays away from the negativity of the jealous people.

Even if there are a few benefits to a secretive relationship, the negative points cannot be neglected. Some people like to express their love though speaking about their partners with other people. They want other people to know about their relationship because there is nothing to hide about it. Should you worry if your partner wishes to conceal your relationship? 

If your partner hides the relationship, then the most obvious thought would be that they are trying to cheat on you. They may be double dating, and that is why they are hiding your relationship. Your partner who does not want to inform about their love for you may not be sure about you. They may be dating you to get their ex’s attention, or they may be using you as a rebound. For them, it may be just a fling. If these are some reasons why your partner is keeping a secretive relationship, then you should consider thinking about your relationship. So, what should you do if your partner wants a secretive relationship? How to cope with a secretive relationship?

#1. Discover The Reasons For Hiding

You should know why your partner wants to hide the relationship. Talk to them and know what makes them keep this relationship a secret. There may be many reasons like they may be very conservative. They may not like showing off. Telling everyone about the love of their life may not be their style. They may want to hide it from a few people, or they may want to keep it a secret with the closed ones. Whichever the reasons may be, it is important that you are aware of them. The relationship is not just about them. It is your relationship as well, and you have the right to tell people about it. If your partner does not have a solid basis for their argument, then you can guess that there is something fishy. Your partner may be cheating on you. The partner may not be sure about the relationship, or it is possible that the person fears commitment. 

Commitment is quite tricky and not every person is ready for that. Sometimes it is the right thing to do when you do not know where your relationship is headed with them. You should not risk spilling everything out of your mouth when you do not know if they are going to be in your life. Be sure yourself first and then expect your partner to speak about it.

#2. Try To Be Accommodating

First, decide if you believe them. Do you think they were honest? Can you trust them? If you love your partner and you find that their explanation is legitimate, then you should consider accommodating in the relationship. If they want a secretive relationship because their religious values forbid them or if they feel that their parents will not accept this relationship, then you can help your partner keeping the relationship a secret. There is no harm hiding if you are sure about their intentions and you find their answer innocent. If your partner does not want to be open about their relationship because of their fear of criticism and sexuality, then you can help them overcome the fear. There are a lot of people who find it embarrassing to expose their sexuality because they fear about other people’s opinion. People are afraid of critique, and if people do not approve of their relationship, they will feel terrible. Criticism can be one of the reasons for a secretive relationship, but that is not a big issue. You can help your partner grow over it, and you can disclose your relationship details once they are okay with it. Take the hints and take baby steps towards revealing about your relationship. Do not make it a shocking surprise for your partner. They may not like it if you tell people about them without their permission. 

#3. Ask Yourself If You Can Live With Secrecy

It will not be effortless to live with secrecy because your partner has a good motive behind it. You have never hidden something from your family and your friends, and you do not feel like hiding anything even now then you should reconsider your relationship status. If you think that the reason is not so great, even then you should not compromise. It is your relationship, and you should be able to take decisions without thinking about other people. If you are going to live in secrecy, then you will have to continually check if someone who knows you or your partner does not find you together. You will have to think twice before doing anything, so you need to think about your relationship. Asking yourself will fetch you an answer.

#4. Find A Solution To The Situation

Now you have asked your partner what makes them hide the relationship from other people. You have asked yourself if you want to live under secrecy or not. What does all of this mean now? All the information that you gathered must get you some solution. You need to conclude to take the final step. If want to stay in the relationship, but you do not want to keep it a secretive relationship, then you should come up with some solution. Talk to your partner about the relationship and your concerns regarding the same. A secretive relationship may sound fun, but later on, it will create a lot of stress in your relationship. If someone who is close to you knows about them, then they will be able to help you during your fights. A third party can always help resolve fights. Moreover, your partner may refuse to know you if you catch them with someone else cheating on you. When people know about your partner, they will not be able to cheat on you quickly. You could tell your partner that you want to inform your family and some close friends about them. Ask them if they are comfortable with some people knowing about them. If your partner agrees, then you can live with your partner by informing your trusted sources.  

#5. Think About Your Future With Them

Before you arrive at a solution, you need to think about the future of the relationship. How far do you think the relationship will travel? Do you think that the relationship will be successful even after it is hidden from people? You need to think about these questions before you take a decision. It is your feelings, time and efforts that you will invest and if the relationship does not turn out the way you thought, then it will hurt you a lot. Think if you guys have a future together. Try to picture your life with your partner in future. Do you see them in your future? If the answer is no, then you know what you need to do.

#6. Take The Final Decision

After knowing all the possible options and alternatives, it is time to take the final decision. You can continue the relationship on your partner’s term, or you could both compromise a little. If neither of you is ready to reach a solution, then you can leave the relationship because there is no profit in living in a relationship where your concerns are overlooked, and you do not have a right to live the way you want. You should end the relationship because you cannot be assured in such a relationship. A secretive relationship has more chances of infidelity by both the partners. Any of the two can cheat without the other knowing as there will not be any other person to inform you about the other’s whereabouts. Therefore, decide carefully by analyzing the situation thoroughly. Do not decide in haste. If you are unhappy, then there is no need for you to trouble yourself any longer. It is not the end. You will find someone who respects you and your wishes. This is going to help you in future relationships. You will know what you want in your next relationship.

If you found this article helpful, then share your thoughts with us through the comments section below. 

( Images Courtesy: 1. Reader's Digest, 2. Psychology Today, 3. Psychologies, 4. Stay at Home Mum, 5. Limelightdept.com, 6. Huffington Post; The Cheat Sheet(Featured Image Courtesy)