Dating is a tough game, and things get tougher when the man you are prying on is a divorced case. But let’s just give him the benefit of the doubt and believe that he learned from his past mistakes.
The chances of a divorced being older than you are very high which actually turns into a finer quality because it implies that he’s more likely to be a man. It’s common knowledge that guys characteristically lag behind women when it comes to acting their age so an older guy probably will match your intellect level (lets at least hope so).
So is dating a divorced guy a good idea? Let’s find out.
#1. Where Does The Divorce Stand
Before you plan on getting in a relationship with a divorced man, just be aware of where does the divorce stand. Is he still going through the divorce process? Has he been divorced recently?
This is important to know to determine whether or not you want to go through this relationship. Dating a man who is newly divorced can be a difficult road to travel.
#2. Remember That He Has An Ex-Wife
Dating someone who had a previous relationship is easier than dating someone who has an ex-wife. A divorces man cannot just erase his ex-wife from his life and his memories. Marriage is an intimate relationship, and one cannot just let go of it that easy. The two can still be in touch especially if there are kids involved. During the relationship, he may run into old friends who ask about his divorce and his ex-wife.
You need to prepare yourself for that mentally. Insecurities, anger, and sadness should not ruin your relationship.
#3. Don’t Dig Too Deep
Accepting your partner’s ex-wife is important for your relationship, but that’s all you need. There is no point in digging up the dirt or stalking his past. He’ll surely consider them as signs of jealousy and may want to reconsider the relationship. Keeping tabs on his past relationship or his ex-wife will only make things difficult for you to handle.
#4. He Might Have Kids
Dating a divorced man is not just about his wife, he might have kids too. We understand that it sounds difficult to accept, but you’ll have to. You’ll need to be extremely mindful of the parenting situation and the time that he devotes to his kids. Just accept that your man will spend time with his ex-wife and kids because it is his responsibility.
#5. Is He Over His Ex-Wife?
When you get involved with someone who recently broke up or got out of a long-term relationship, you need to know if he is over his past relationship. Before getting into anything serious with a divorced man, be sure that he is over his ex-wife. He’s probably not over his previous relationship if he keeps talking about his marriage, divorce, his ex-wife, and tries to spend a lot of time with her. Don’t get involved with a man whose heart and head aren’t working together. It is just going to cause hurt.
#6. What Does He Want
Being in the early stages of your relationship can get awkward to be picky about things, but it is important to ask your man about what he’s looking for in the relationship. A man can easily get into dating believing that he’s only looking for some fun. Be sure of his intentions before involving yourself too much with him.
You might be thinking that a divorced man would not be interested in marrying again, but you can be surprised with his decisions. Before getting into anything too serious, be sure that you know his stance on marriage. Don’t try pressuring him to get re-married in case he is not interested.
#7. Patience Is Your Virtue
A divorced man has already been through so many hoops and loops in his past marriage that it may be difficult for him to open up so quickly and rush through things. You’ll need to be very patient throughout the process because reaching the milestones in your relationship will take some time.
#8. Avoid Talking Negative About Their Ex-Partners
He is allowed to bash his ex in front of you, but you cannot do the same. Don’t even think about joining the trash talk because there are chances of those conversations hitting back at you. Even if he has told you some things about his ex-wife, don’t regurgitate them to him. This is just going to put you and your partner in an awkward situation and can upset or sadden him. Avoid talking badly about his ex at all costs.
#9. Avoid Comparisons
It is natural for all of us to compare our former partners with our current ones, but let’s keep it inside our head. If you want your relationship to be successful, the last thing you would want to do is to compare yourself to his ex-wife. Do not ask personal questions related to their personality and start comparing it to yourself. A divorced man doesn’t want to think about these things, nor does it do any good to you.
#10. Develop Relationships With His Ex-Wife And Kids
Being in a relationship is all about making adjustments, and dating a divorced man needs some extra adjustments. With time your relationship will grow serious and intimate, and therefore you’ll inevitably have to have a relationship with his ex-wife and his children. No one expects you to be best friends with his ex-wife, but you can maintain a friendly relationship at the least. His kids do not necessarily need to call you mom, but you can try to be friends with them if they are open to it too.
#11. Be Aware Of His Financial Situation
Going through a divorce requires a lot of financial involvement, be it for the legal formalities or the alimony (if any). A divorced man is most likely to be paying for alimony, child support, or both. Be mindful and realistic about the vacations, expensive dinners, gifts or any other additional luxuries that are very pricey. You need to understand that a divorced man cannot let go of his responsibilities when it comes to his ex-wife or kids.
#12. Parents Might Not Be Supportive
While dating a divorced man, you need to prepare yourself for facing his and your parents. While his parents will surely welcome you, they’ll be apprehensive of you not turning out to be like their ex-daughter –in –law. They have seen their son at his lowest point and as parents will never let their son go through the same again. They want you to be the one who keeps their son at high points of happiness.
#13. Be Ready For Tough Friends
Your friends are your extended family and would always want the best for you. A divorced man is likely to have a close circle of friends that he has known during the good and the bad. Once you’re introduced to this circle, be prepared for some of his friends to show you some tough love, subtly. You’ll probably hear “be careful with him, ” and they’ll be full of questions that they want you to answer. Be open, be accepting, and show that you’re not like his ex-wife, though hopefully, your man knows this already.
While dating requires patience and understanding, you need to be more patient and accepting when it comes to being a divorced guy. In addition to accepting his behavior and habits, you’ll also have to accept his ex-wife and kids (if any) because even after a divorce he cannot let go of his responsibilities to his former family.
Have you ever dated a divorced guy? Was it difficult than dating anyone else? Let us know in the comment section below.
(Image courtesy: 1. Love Panky, 2. You Queen, 3. Hub Pages, 4. Closing, 5. living The Bump, 6. BBC: Easy Successful Online Dating(Featured Image Courtesy)
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