Dating a nerd can be terrifying only when you don’t know what you are getting into. A lot of people are wary of dating a nerd as they think that they will be subjected to hearing things that they don’t know and will be mocked as they won’t be able to speak at length about the topics that a nerd can speak on. It should not be like that as nerds have the presence of mind to stop themselves from saying something they are thinking which will not be received well by the other person.
Everyone cannot be a nerd as it takes a lot of patience and practice to learn all one can and then keep searching for more. Over the years nerds have earned a bad image of being the type of people who are caustic as they have an air of arrogance about them and have no interest in mainstream pursuits namely girls and sports which is only in our psyche because the media has perpetrated it. Nerds can be of this type but they can also be the type who regularly exercise both their body and mind and enlighten you instead of humiliating you.
#1. Address Social Anxiety
Nerds are often better at reading textbooks and other reading material instead of people and thereby may act awkwardly when they are around them as they prefer staying alone. You can come to their rescue by teaching them a few skills which are handy in social interactions like sensing when the person you are talking to is getting uncomfortable by reading their face ( the face is stiffer when they are uncomfortable than relaxed and smiling) and teaching them how to stay silent and quell their impulse to correct the other person when he/she says something ignorant will help them maintain niceties at the dining table. Nerds have often been at the receiving end of abuse from jocks and mean girls so when they see a similar kind of person speak on or about something they may want to avenge their pride and will be tempted to teach them what they don’t know. One easy way of making them feel better and yet bear other people at the dinner table is promising them that you will hear them express their feeling about the other person after dinner in private.
#2. Take To Their Passions
The greatest sacrifice is when you sacrifice your happiness for the sake of others and this will show the nerd that you are willing to step out of your comfort zone and indulge in sci-fi comics and video-games. When you share an experience with someone that they enjoy a lot, it makes them open up to you and get attached. It is very important that you do this because it will help the nerd you are dating get a new developing perspective on things that he/she has already mastered. You will get a new developing perspective on fashion and sports yourself when they indulge in activities which draw you in.
#3. Don’t Drop Hints
If you are dating a nerd, you have to be straightforward and direct because if you say something like ‘ do you want to hang out or see a movie ?’ they may take the phrase at its literal face value and not get the social suggestion that you want to date them.
#4. Don’t Make Small Talk
Small talk is necessary for people who fret a lot about propriety and are necessary for people who are bitten by the bug of good manners. It won’t be an overstatement if nerds tell you that they don’t know what small talk is as it is totally possible that they can speak of weather and traffic at length and can even point to how a set pattern came to be and what needs to happen to bring in change. Their wealth of information is an asset which you can exploit by speaking to them about your passion and interests that will secure your happiness and help you achieve your goals.
#5. Show Your True Self
Nerds are quick to figure out deception and manipulation as all that time they spend absorbing knowledge; they use it to their advantage. Little is unknown to them so if you lie and fake interest in things which you don’t like and don’t do, they will easily make out that you are trying to convince them of someone who is not you. You may be doing it out of fear that if you reveal your true self the nerd won’t like you. But that is not the case as speaking about your irrational fear or telling them one of the quirks that you do before starting a particular thing will attract them to you as they are born with a super attraction to uncommon things.
#6. Respect Their Zen Space
Believe it or not, every nerd has a zen space which they don’t want you to meddle with. It is the security and predictability of this corner which has made them what they are, and nerds get deeply attached to environments which further their educational interests. When you completely remove yourself from that area and leave only the nerd you want to date in its control, you will see that they are happier this way.
#7. Exploit Their Routine
Nerds operate in a very machine-like manner as they thrive on this automatic working and have the kind of mind which doesn’t deem it mundane or droning but highly efficient as all they derive pleasure from output and term acquiring knowledge about new things as productive. You may not be the same type of person, and you don’t even have a routine, to begin with as you do things on the spur of the moment whenever you are taken to something that appeals to the passion inside you. After learning what his/her routine is like you can mark down the hours in which you can introduce your impulses and wild behavior so that he/she don't doesn’t think twice before joining you.
#8. Use Anecdotes
An anecdote is a story with a point, and nerds love making points because their head is always brimming with knowledge, so any conclusion they give is a relief to some of the knowledge their head is brimming with and they get a respite from thinking about that particular piece of information. Nerds may come across as omniscient people, but it is rarely true as most of them have mastered only one thing and usually connect other things to the thing they have specialized more or less presenting their knowledge in a different light. You can make them more aware of mainstream pursuits and with the use of anecdotes finish the lesson you want to impart well. This will banish notions which tell them that you are unlike them and inspire affection.
#9. Hang Out With Their Friends
You may not fit in the social circle that plays a lot of live-action role-playing games or discusses the latest launch of the Tesla rocket enthusiastically but the one you are dating is, and he/she is also very passionate about the combustible geologic deposits of organic materials. You can look at it in two ways either you can see it as an adventure or see it as a source of agony, and you already know that you will be better off if you see it as a source of adventure. When you meet them for the first time, just use a short sentence that summons you up so that you get your ego out of the way by asserting who you are confidently and dismissing all self-questioning that may flare up when you listen to his nerd friends talk about their accomplishments.
#10. Build A Culture Of Respect
Appreciating their technical know-how and how good they are at dealing with work stuff is not enough as nerds need to be treated more kindly than other people particularly because they are more sensitive to things. Nerds are usually bullied or shunned out from gatherings when they are young, and this makes them averse to social interactions as they live in fear of being picked at again. When they start dating you, or you start dating them, it is clear that you are not a fellow nerd so they may need a lot of respect from you so that the past demons don’t haunt them. Another thing which it will accomplish is that you will be able to analyze and sort the serious things you take lightly and disrespect your partner over.
Dating a nerd is not easy, but with the help of these steps, it can become easy and enjoyable. Tell us how you date a nerd.
(Image Courtesy: 1. Social Disorder, 2. Justin Nerd, 3. Alexo Karijo, 4. Student Studios, 5. Dorkly; 29 Secrets(Featured image Courtesy0
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