How to Deal with Partner Suffering from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder?

In America, an approximate of 3.5 million people suffer from OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) or behavior associated with OCD. So, with such a huge population suffering from OCD, there are very good chances of you dating one at least once in your lifetime, or having one of your family member facing the problem. Things can get messy and annoying when dealing with a partner having OCD.

What Is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder?

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or the anxiety disorder which can be characterized by uncontrollable, unwanted, recurring thoughts which are very difficult to get rid of. If you're suffering from OCD, you will be compelled to perform habitual behavior resulting from obsessive thoughts repeatedly, and it would feel powerless to break free of these thoughts.

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Dealing With OCD In A Relationship

Dealing with OCD in a relationship can be tiresome sometimes, you may even feel like giving up sometime. The occurrence of regular thoughts about random things, or unfamiliar obsession that characterize OCD can sometimes take the form of images or impulses, and things might get worse causing overwhelming anxiety in the sufferer. Most of the time, the situation gets easier when the sufferer knows of the problem he/she is suffering from. But, there are many cases where the victim connects his/her thoughts, obsessions, and the anxiety with the reality. In such cases, being with a sufferer becomes tougher.

In order to strengthen the relationship between individuals with OCD in your family, promoting understanding and cooperation, below are certain steps that will help you.

Ways To Deal With Someone Who Has OCD In A Relationship

#1. Identify The Signs Of OCD

In order to find the solution to any problem, the first step is to identify the problem. Thus, as a family member, you should be very observant towards your family and try to identify the warning signals. Sometimes, people suffering from OCD are thinking of things you might not even think of, and ignoring them might lead to serious troubles. If you notice any behavioral changes in your family member having OCD, try not to dismiss if they're notable.

The Warning Signs

#1. If the person is spending too much time alone in the bathroom, or any such activity which doesn't take much time 

#2. Deliberate and repetitive behaviors

#3. Spending too much time in doing simple things like watering the plants, chopping vegetables etc

#4. Having problems in sleeping and staying up late

#5. Notable changes in eating habits and daily schedule

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#2. Keep Your Expectations Low

When you’re dealing with someone suffering from OCD, or displaying symptoms of OC, it’s considered wise to keep a different set of expectations from these people. These people are very resistant to change due to their disorder. Whenever there is a change around someone having OCD, the OC symptoms burst out and the person takes the change negatively. Any changes in their surroundings, be it extremely positive for that matter, becomes stressful for the people suffering from the disorder.  

At times of a stressful situation, try to moderate the stress by using statements that are supportive and encouraging in nature.  

#3. Don't Expect Faster Recovery

Not everyone can be the rabbit in the infamous 'rabbit and turtle race'. Everyone has their own speed of doing things or adapting to the surroundings, and if pressurized to accelerate their speed- they may break down. Thus, every time you feel your partner is taking too much time for progress, just remind yourself that everyone has their own speed of functioning.

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While trying to measure progress, don't compare them with the speed of others. OCD has a wide variety of symptoms depending on an individual. And, as observed in most cases, fast progress often relapses at the end, while the slower progress proves to be more durable.  

#4. Don't Compare Daily Progress

When dealing with an OCD patient, one has to be very calm. The results may take time, and comparing their progress on a daily basis may often lead to disappointments. It's always more satisfying to aim for the bigger picture which won't be visible unless we stop gauging the daily progress. Doctors advise looking for overall changes from the time the treatment started in case you're dealing with an OCD partner. being the caretaker, you should be their constant support system and a permanent source of encouragement.  

Despite saying all this, there is still a need for being aware of the improvements. Thus, try to adopt a method which is comfortable for the person, and form a set of questions which he/she can answer properly.  

#5. Identify And Appreciate Small Improvements 

A simple act of appreciation can prove to be a morale booster. People with OCD will always complain about their family or partner failing to understand the efforts it took them to cut down on any of their compulsive behaviors. Sometimes, some changes in your loved ones suffering from OCD seem insignificant to you, but, this change took a lot of efforts from their side. So, along with looking for significant positive results, start appreciating their small victories.  

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#6. Build A Constant Support System Around them

Your partner can sometimes get on your nerves with their behaviors, but try to remind yourself the actual cause of the annoyance- the OCD. Sometimes, you'll lose control on yourself and hurt your partner by personally criticizing them. However, try to keep it low if not under control, and try to discourage their compulsive behavior as much as you can. You have to be supportive towards your partner suffering from OCD and build a support system that constantly motivates them to get better, but that doesn't mean you'll ignore their compulsive behavior and participate in such acts.

#7. Supporting In Medication

As per an observation, I have seen some people suffering from OCD overdosing on the prescribed medication in order to control the urges. The prescribed medicines have certain side-effects which can deteriorate the problem of your partner. So, be sure of not undermining the medication instruction set by the doctor. Talk to your partner and try to be their companion in their visits to the physicians. Ask questions from the physicians and try to learn about the side-effects of the prescribed medicines.

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#8. Communicate Regularly

Communication is the key to success in every situation. But, even communication drives successful results when they are done using a simple tone. People with OCD always have a tendency to ask for assurance about simple things from people around them, which can be annoying sometimes. So, while trying to answer their uncertainty, be a little sophisticated and keep the conversation as short as possible.

#9. Give Them Their Private Time

Your partner might feel the need for some private time to control their OCD and you should not ignore their need. Being the persona taking care of the OCD victim, you might feel that leaving them alone might cause any problem and you need to be around them all the time, but this might turn destructive. Everyone needs their private time. Besides, even you have other responsibilities to take care of other than babysitting. So, it's better to make them understand that they can be left alone, allowed to take care of themselves if they want to.

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We hope you liked the article and proves to be of any help. If you've been through such circumstances and have any question or suggestion to share, let us know using the comment section.

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