How to Emotionally Detach yourself in a Relationship?

2,380 Views Updated: 12 Oct 2017
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How to Emotionally Detach yourself in a Relationship?

Life is full of people. There are some who you require to be there and there are others who do not really need to be present in certain situation. The sooner you understand this, the better it is for you. What to do when you identify the person who should not be in your life in that particular situation? The easiest way is to detach yourself from that person and then go for ending it slowly. It will ensure that neither you are hurt because of this nor the other person. Detachment is not a task it is a process, and if you think it is an easy one, you are clearly mistaken. It takes time and becomes even difficult when you are deeply involved with someone emotionally. Attachment happens naturally and it does not take that time. Detachment, however, takes double time and is not as easy as falling for someone. In detachment you initially lose yourself, then you forgive, forget some things, start letting go and finally move on. This will end up in a win. You will find yourself losing in the process and will try to give up, but if you ace it, it would be worth suffering for. Detachment becomes extremely important in some cases, especially when you are trying to detach yourself from the toxic people. As long as you have the guts to help yourself, detachment is a healthy process.

The realization does not take place overnight. You gradually realize that you need to detach yourself from someone. Most of the time detaching yourself from someone is not even a choice. In order to establish the peace in your life, you sometimes will have to take such a step. Sometimes it feels ridiculous but an important step to take. It is, of course, a hard time. But if you have the will to do it, you will get out it stronger and will work this out well. Experiences make you realize some flaws about a person that you cannot take. Also, the situation can be that the person you love is not loving you back or does not have the similar feeling for you. In any of these cases, you need to detach yourself from the one you care about a lot. You owe it to yourself that you distance yourself from who does not care for you that much. If you no longer have that spark in the relationship, it better to detach yourself and reduce the pain of separation. Instead of playing the blame game, it is better to pull yourself back and make the process easier. Let us now see how can you detach yourself from someone when you are in a relationship:

#1. Look For The Reasons To Detach Yourself

The first step is, of course, to ask yourself why, how and what? Figure out by asking yourself that what went wrong that you have to take such a step to detach yourself from the person you loved or probably love. It is very difficult to find an appropriate or concrete answer for this question. However, without finding out the reasons, it is very tough to move on. If you are successful in finding and establishing a strong reason for this process, you will be smooth on your road to detachment. If you will try to do it without convincing yourself about the reason, it won’t be durable and effective for you.

#2. Start With Small Things And Efforts

Instead of taking a big step initially, it is better to start with small steps and then follow up. It sounds like a mathematical problem, but if you won’t strategically follow the process you can end up hurting yourself too badly. Do not stock yourself with something too big. If you start taking small steps it will lead you to your destination. It is not easy to actually hang to it for long. However, if you want this permanent and effective, make sure you do not rush in doing something disastrous. Don’t try too hard, just go with the flow and more importantly, go slow with such process. You don’t know what can hurt you.

#3. Release Your Emotions To Feel Unburdened

In order to make your mind settled for something, you need to let it out. It will help you immensely to release your feelings and emotions. The more time you will keep your feelings inside you, the harder it will hurt you. We cannot keep everything to ourselves, there will be a time when you have to blow up everything outside. It is always better to release the toxic feeling and then move forward. If you will keep it to yourself, it will only affect you negatively. The unexpressed things always keep you in tears and will never let you move on.

#4. Heal Yourself By Focusing On Practical Changes

Rather than thinking about the person who has hurt you, it is significant to instead think about healing yourself from them. Love and respect are worth the people only who can give them back. If being with someone is hurting you, it is better to detach yourself from them. You need to think about the practical things and changes that you can practice in order to focus yourself away from them. Finding an individuality and diverting your mind on your life and its importance is required at such stages. If you want to be true to yourself, you need to focus on reality and practicality rather than the dream world they have created around you.

#5. Provide Yourself Time And Space To Breathe

Space and time can change everything if you are willing to do that. The most important step is to take a step back and give yourself enough time and space to look forward in your life. Instead of turning to the past, it is better to think about the present and future which can be better than the past if you wish to make effort on that side. Introspect yourself and discover the best for you. Giving yourself room to breathe will develop your interest in your own life. It will make the process of emotionally detaching yourself easier.

#6. Try And Adopt An Objective Approach

You may be involved with that person emotionally and physically since a lot of time and it will be difficult. However, if you will look at the situation objectively, you will realize that it is not that hard to get your mind off them. Your mind will give you a better advice in this case. After just listening to your heart you have come this far. But it is not fair for you to not listen to your mind at all and think objectively. Ask yourself do you want that person in your life any longer or not?

#7. Find Out The Reasons Why You Are Attached And Try To Work On Them

If you still can not get over the fact that you can not get detached even if you try to, think of the reasons that why are you still attached to them? Maybe there are some reasons which are keeping you attached to that person after everything as well. Probably you have finished all the emotional connect but the physical intimacy is still present which is keeping you both together on some grounds. Try to figure out those reasons and work upon them. It can be the sexual connect or maybe you are still seeing them too often. Try and work on those things and finish that as soon as possible.

#8. Remember There Are No Shortcuts

Try to stick to the fact that the process of detachment takes time and a lot of patience. You need to make yourself realize this thing from the very start. If you think that detachment can take place in a fortnight, you are absolutely making a terrible mistake to them and to yourself. It is a long process or journey to be very precise which depends upon the emotional attachment between two people and the kind of people they both are. No detours or shortcuts will work in these cases. It can be difficult and also painful to its worst case. Trying to move on will be painful and even pain will slowly fade away. However, you need to hold yourself up and strong to deal with this.

#9. Forgive Yourself And Heal With Time

Forgiveness is another very significant part of this process of detachment. Pride can sometimes tear you apart and leave nothing but pain. However, it will be very difficult if you let pride win in this case. Pride can compel you to do things you might regret later. Therefore, it is better to forgive the other person and yourself. Pride can make you say the terms you never want to and that can leave deep cuts in your life that probably never fade away. Practise forgiving! This term of seven letters can do miracles and it will be worth to make life better.

#10. The Pain Is Temporary In The Process

The pain is obvious in your life if you are trying to detach yourself from someone you loved or love rather. The initial part is usually the most painful. However, if you can hold yourself strong in this worse time, you will be thankful for that painful time. That time will teach you a lot of things in your life. You can never get back the feeling you have lost and neither the people. The nights of wailing and crying will be worth for you as a person you will develop after that time. Keep patience and have faith in yourself.

Time has the capability to heal almost everything. The bad phases in life are inevitable. The journey of the process of detachment may be long, but remember the pain is always temporary. The journey from detachment to healing is a learning process. It develops your sense to choose better people for your life in the coming years. In order to grow as a person we all humans need such phases in our life. We hope to enlighten you from this piece of writing. Do let us know your thoughts regarding the same in the comment section below.

(Images Courtesy: 1. Nancy Nichols, 2. Power of Positivity, 3. The Peak Counseling Group, 4. Complete Wellbeing, 5. Ebony Magazine, 6. Spirituality & Health; Ananda Bazaar(Featured Image)
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