Love and relationships, we all have been there and did whatever it was required from us to keep our partners happy. But, most of us aren’t aware of the reality, and we still blame love as the evil. For those who have been in a relationship, they know that there is something far more painful than love, and that is being friend-zoned.
Most of us don’t even approach the person who we feel for because of the constant fear of ending up being just a friend. Being friend-zoned is a haunting experience, you’re alive, yet you’re lying inside your grave. You become the pendulum of a clock and keep on hanging middle and keep on running to and fro, ticking from left to right.
So, if you know how it feels, this is for you. If you’re scared of falling in love because you were friend zoned last time, don’t you worry this time, we got your back. Don’t hold your feelings and approach the boy or girl depending on your taste, and confess your feelings to them. And, if you get friend zoned this time, we have got a solution for you, so don’t fear and let it be all out in one breath.
Below are some self-tested, suggested by experts tips and tricks that will save you and pull you back from the friend zone, if you fall into one.
#1. Keep Calm And Accept The Current Situation
Like every other situation in life that occurs at a moment's notice, even being friend zoned is normal. You might feel like it’s happening only with you, but wake up and open your eyes because you’re not the only one. Every youngster, be it a girl or a boy has been through this situation once, even your own father and mother might have been friend zoned once. So, stop weeping like a 3-year-old kid and “Keep calm honey and get used to it.”
Secondly, don’t ever beg them for a chance, if they have made a decision to ignore your feelings, make them regret their decision. Start playing with the irrational, illogical side of their personality.
#2. Decide Whether It’s Worth It Or Not
Let's focus on the situation here; you've been friend-zoned, sadly. Now, at this point, you will have to make a very important decision, whether it's worth trying or not. Having feelings for someone is normal, but the important thing is how long will it last, and if you're serious enough to take a risk and put your friendship at stake for it? So, it is upon you to decide whether you want to try and change your relationship status from 'friends' to 'In love.' The consequences can be many, even the worst expected thing can happen, and you might end up as a result. If you truly care about the person you’ve fallen for, think about whether you’re willing to take that chance.
#3. Ask Yourself What Is It That You Want
Your expectations from the person are one primary thing to consider after you’ve been friend zoned and before you take the risk. So, what is it? Love or lust? Are you really in love with the person or you’re just physically attracted? You have to figure that out yourself, and It’s really not that hard, so stop giving excuses.
Here’s some suggestion for you to help you figure that out. Close your eyes and try to imagine yourself with the person, keep it random and don’t think of any situation. Now, if you see yourself kissing the person or in some similar situation that is full of lust, you’re just physically attracted towards the person. But, if you see something like sitting together and sharing coffee, holding each other's hand, walking together, sharing the earplugs and listening to music together or something like that which doesn’t end up on sex, man you’re in love with the person.
It’s better to proceed after you have attained some clarity on the matter, or else you’re going to ruin everything.
#4. Focus On Self-Improvement
No one is perfect, not even close to being perfect because the word perfect doesn't have a defined definition. A human, be it a man or a woman can be perfect depending on her/his own understanding of perfection or according to someone else's definition of perfect. So, if your friend thinks that you're perfect to be a friend but nothing more than that, take it as a challenge and start focusing on self-improvement. However, what we believe is, everybody is perfect in their own way, and no one should try to change herself/himself for the sake of acceptance by others. If you really want to, do it to be a better version of yourself, not to be perfect for someone else.
#5. Make Your Expectations Clear
As you've already spilled the beans, it's your time to be very clear about what you want from your friend. Tell your friend that you want to see yourself with her in future as a couple, not as just good friends. If you're not interested in being a friend, just tell your friend and move out. If love is what you truly want, trying to be around her as a friend is going to hurt you even more, and one day the glass will shatter into thousand pieces. So, make yourself very clear and proceed to next step.
#6. Take A Break And Be Less Interested
He/she has already made it clear that they’re not interested in you and you’re better as a good friend. Thus, it would be better to control your obsession for the person and focus on other important things in your life. Stop lurking on social media and stalking them, stop waiting for her text, and stop giving them extra attention. Stop showing interest and treating them as you would treat your normal friends. Take a step back from the unbalanced relationship and stop being the ‘needy.'
Don't make yourself dependent on the person and be the guy who can walk away if they want.
#7. Keep A Distance And Make Yourself Wanting
Stay away from your 'friend' for a little time and enjoy yourself. Have fun, roam around and spend time with other friends. Stop being the on-demand friend unless she/he realizes your importance and comes back hunting for you. Follow the principle of scarcity which says, people, value something more when it is rare or taken away from them. Let them feel the loss and crave for you.
#8. Date Someone
Jealousy is like a pair of glasses which can really show you if your friend has feelings for you or not. So, to find out if you’re investing time on the right thing, start dating someone else and talk about it with your friend. The thoughts of you being with someone else, the fact that they’re losing their importance in your life will kill them slowly. They will get jealous, and a little dose of jealousy won't hurt anyone but make sure you don't cross boundaries. A little jealousy is okay to find out how much your friend is obsessed with you. It’s like fueling her fire with desire. Show your friend that you’re not dependent on her, and you’ll walk away whenever you want.
#9. Make Them Invest On You
Till now, you were the one doing favors for her, buying her favorite chocolate and cupcakes, and dropping her home after college/office. It's time to turn the table and make them invest their time on you. Ask your friend to do things for you, exploit the benefit of being friend zoned. If necessary, you can even throw tantrums on her for not doing you favors, if she fails anytime.
This idea might be a contradiction for many, as it challenges the old belief that people like you more when you do favors for them. This theory is known as the Ben Franklin Effect, and it suggests that people like you more when THEY do favors for you, rather than when you do the favor for them. So, ask your friend to invest in you, the more they invest in the relationship, the more you will mean to them.
#10. Stop Being The Nice Guy
If you've been friend zoned, the chances are very very high that you're the nice guy, which is a good thing. However, you can't play the 'nice guy' card to win her. In general, girls mostly like the guys who are a little careless, bad, and a little less nice. When you're not challenging or daring enough, they lose interest in you, and you're likely to end up being friend zoned. So, stop being there for her every time, too much availability is sure to get you friend zoned.
#11. Correct Your Mistakes And Start Flirting
Flirting is not a crime, and if you've not been doing it, you already know why you've been friend zoned. Life happens to those who dare to take the risk and accept the challenges, you might not have the guts to tell her that she looks smoking hot in the red dress she wore last night, but you'll have to find a source and muster some courage to say all this. If you can't, stop weeping for being friend-zoned because she made the right decision, I can understand how hard it might be for you, you might be doing it for the first time, or maybe you’re still stuck in the nutshell. But, if you don’t crack open the shell and come out of the egg, how would you know how to deal with practical life situations. Be it a boy or girl, people like those who are daring enough to flirt a little. Too much of flirting might be bad and might end everything forever, but a little bit of it is necessary for every kind of relationship.
#12. Start Touching Her/Him
The absence of sensual touch can be one reason why you've been friend-zoned. Men and women alike, use sensual touch as a sign to indicate that they are interested in being with you. However, if you start doing it too much, it won't take time, and your friend will start believing that you're with them only for sex. In just a matter of seconds, you’ll be termed as a pervert instead of a friend. So, be careful and give her indications that you like her by touching her. However, before you do that, know the difference between a good touch and a bad touch. A good touch is something that is comfortable for people like holding her hands whenever you're walking together, and start leading rather than following. Touch her arms casually, or pull her cheeks, but make sure to notice her reactions.
#13. Change Your Look, Be More Attractive
Change your look and be a little more attractive. Lose some weight if you're overweight, try some cool hairstyles, hit the gym and build yourself. Be the tall, dark, and handsome guy she wants to be with. Be the best version of yourself; maybe you don’t like the idea to change yourself for someone, so do it for yourself.
#14. Be Challenging: Be The Hard To Get Guy
On a personal note, stop being an open book that anyone can read. Having a little secrecy about your life makes you mysterious, a story that people would die to read at any cost. So, be a little secretive.
Secondly, people don’t like someone who is easily available, or easy to get. It’s human nature, and we like to do things which are challenging and beyond our personal capabilities. Keep your obsession and desperation in control and be a little tough to get. Don’t fall for her and her tricks, just be the tough guy who is hard to melt.
#15. Stop Sharing Everything
Be a little serious and start being a man, keep your problems to yourself rather than sharing everything with your friend. Everyone wants a partner who is tough enough to handle their problems by themselves, someone who is strong and independent. Start keeping your life private by not letting your friend know what's going on in your life. As much you share about your life, longer he/she will keep you friend zoned.
These tips and tricks will work, so don’t keep any doubts in your mind. If you truly like someone and want to be with them, holding their hands, walking on the long empty road under the night sky, with stars shining brightly, the forces will be on your side. But, just to let you know, these tips and tricks work only if she/he has feelings for you, even one percent feelings count. And, if she doesn’t, nothing in this world can make him/her fall for you and you’ll remain friend zoned. So, in such cases, I would advise you to move on and find someone else who’s worth it.
We hope you liked the article. If you have a similar experience, or if you have been friend zoned ever, let us know how it felt and how did you deal with it. Did you let it go or did you try and win your partner? Your opinions and experiences are valuable because there are lots of ears who are waiting for a good answer. So, don’t hold back and let it all out in the comment section. We will be waiting.
(Image Courtesy: 1. Carly, 2. Online, 3. High Performing, 4. Love Panky, 5. Fashion Encounter, 6. Listen and Learn, 7. Love Panky, 8. Woman Planet; Girls Chase (Featured Image)
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