We have often heard people say that fighting is healthy for a relationship. Fights are not suitable for an association but how you fight matters. If the way you fight with your partner is fair, then it can solve a lot of problems. But if the question faced is in an unorganized and clueless manner then it would be silly to expect a solution out of the fight. A lot of couples fight ignoring the fact that fighting will only be responsible for more issues in their life. So, how to fight fair with your partner?
Before we learn how to fight fair in marriage, we should first discover if we need to know how to fight fairly. Do you compete fairly? Let us look at some signs that show you if you are struggling the wrong way. If you bully your partner emotionally and blackmail them, then you are unfair. You either take advantage of the emotions that the other is feeling or you intimidate them by reacting angrily and offending them. These ways shut the conversation right there because the other person gets hurt emotionally. Sometimes couples get into physical abuse as well. They inflict harm on each other’s body, and then these fights are resolved by the police and the lawyers. Couples often get into heated arguments that make no sense. Calling each other names and making a shameful statement about each other leads to a lot more aggression and harm to the relationship. None of the partners will admit that they are wrong. They will blame each other for something they are responsible. Fights majorly end when one of the partners withdraws from the conversation. They do not get deep into the match knowing that things will turn sore. They either leave the arena or start ignoring the partner altogether to avoid the fight. When one of the partners exits the other feels that they are being disrespected and not heard which makes them even more hurt. The egos clash, and they never try to understand the perspective of the other partner. If you relate to this kind of fight, then you should bring a change in the way you fight with your partner before it is too late. Let us go through the process of battle fairly in marriage.
#1. Initiate The Conversation The Right Way
Imagine you found a wet towel laying the bed again and you see it the most irritating thing in the whole full world. How do you react? Your first instinct and reaction would be to leave the room in anger and confront your partner. You would probably begin by saying “You left the towel again on the bed. You always do this”. Your body language would be screaming along with your throat that you are very agitated and you will pick a fight. Your partner will be irritated by your attitude, and they will start crying together with you to defend their stance. This is not the right way to approach when you have an issue to be solved. Keep your cool and talk to your partner politely. Tell them that you want to talk to them about something and if they agree to speak then start with the issue. Mind your language when you talk to your partner because a single word can make either the conversation smooth or difficult.
#2. Do Not Digress Away From The Issue
It is very common that when couples fight they digress from the topic. They will talk about all the problems altogether from the past present and probably the future. The most significant mistake they make is to include other people in the fight. Couples start talking about each other’s relatives and friends. This makes the other feel upset about it. Nobody likes to hear something wrong about their family or loved ones. It leads another fight and after the fight is over you cannot change the fact that your partner knows that you do not like their family.
#3. Listen Attentively To The Partner’s Side
When people engage in a fight they forget that the participation should be equal from both the sides. If you have a complaint about your partner then you need to listen to what they have to say. You cannot impose your allegations on them and then not even listen to what they have to say in their defense. Only if you sit quietly and listen to what your partner has to say about the issue you will be able to conclude something. Being fair is when you give the other person an equal opportunity to speak for themselves. Your partner may have a reasonable justification for your complaint and if you do not listen then they will not be able to end the fight ever.
#4. Be Honest About Your Feelings
When you fight or argue with your partner then you must be honest about your feelings. If something bothers you a lot then say it and if doesn’t then do not exaggerate the situation. A lot of people like to exaggerate the situation to magnify the effect of it so that the solution is reached immediately but that never happens. When you present a case by exciting it, then the other person gets angry because they know that the situation is not so grave. Be honest always and be empathetic towards your partner.
#5. Find A Neutral Point
If you feel that both the partners still have different opinions, then you should try to reach a common ground from where you both can begin. It is evident that the views will not match, but then you have to make some effort to find the solution to the problem that bothers you. Your partner may agree to some mistakes, and you can decide to some of yours. When both you will accept your mistakes then finding a solution will not be a difficult job anymore. Be apologetic and then begin with fresh.
#6. Mind Your Emotions
If something enrages you or if something hurts you emotionally then you should not let those emotions turn into a heated argument. Keep your anger under control because you cannot take back the words you spill out of your mouth. Every decision taken in the moment of aggression will be wrong and it will never fetch you profit. You may promise to do something that you would not otherwise. It would be wiser if you control your emotions and think before you speak or act. Your relationships should be your priority and you should not harm anyone who loves you.
#7. Do Not Drag The Fight For Weeks
Couples tend to drag the fight for days and weeks but this is the most inappropriate habit to follow. If you want a healthy relationship, then do not pull the battle in any condition. Do not sleep hungry or angry at your partner. Solve the conflict before sleep and if you fail to do so, then do not stretch it for the whole day. It will spoil your day and your mood which will reflect on your work. If you want to fight fairly in marriage then these are the golden rules that everybody should follow.
Do you agree with these ways of fighting fairly with your partner? Share your views with us in the comments section below.
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