Is your marriage on the verge of a breakup? Are you looking for ways to heal the damage made in your relationship? You are not very sure if you can heal a marriage after infidelity in a relationship? Are you looking for ways to deal with infidelity in your marriage?
Before we get to the ways of healing a damaged relationship, it becomes very important for us to understand the importance of what marriage means to us. Marriage is not only a social norm or a relationship which we agree to on paper. We need to understand the fact that this is the only relationship that we choose to be a part of without any blood relations. All the remaining family relationships come to us by default, we do not choose them, and they are what we are born into. We do not have a chance to evaluate how well we are going to get along with our parents, siblings and all the other relatives. We come into the world already as a part of the family, we do not know who makes this choice on behalf of us and yet we do all we need to in order to stick together and stand by each other at all times.
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Then there are those relationships that are a part of our life by choice. Yes, we have friends who are an integral part of our lives; they add meaning to our existence and also go on to become lifelong companions. But, the relationship which becomes the most crucial part of our life is our marriage. This is one relationship that defines our life, this is the companionship that has a first-hand impact on a major part of our life and the decisions we choose to make. This person we agree to have as our spouse for the rest of our life, which is the majority of our lifetime, will be the constant companion and witness of those years of our life. Please realize, generally, most people tend to spend more years of their life living with their spouse and not their parents and siblings.
Which means your partner is going to be the closest to you for a longer period of time in comparison to your parents. This is to make you realize the importance of the choice of the kind of individual you choose to have as your partner. At the same time take a look at the kind of impact the choices and decisions of this individual will have over your life. Also, the way their inclusion into your life will impact your decisions regarding all the crucial aspects of your life, including career, family, people you both choose to socialize with and particularly every other area.
This is the reason why there needs to be an emphasis on the concept of being very clear about the meaning of marriage for each. It is important to understand the fact that when you choose to get into this kind of a committed relationship, there is a lot that is expected from you. Both the individuals need to be willing to make the adjustments and to be willing to make the relationship work. It is not compulsory to get married; you do it completely by choice. This is why you need to be clear about why you are making this choice and what you are expecting from this relationship. The problems in any relationship crop up only when there is a lack of clarity of why you wish to get into the relationship and when you are not able to clearly communicate to your partner what you expect from them.
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The fact that you need to be devoted to your partner, you need to be honest, you need to share responsibilities and exhibit a lot many qualities that are going to be important for the long life of the relationship is something you need to keep in mind. It becomes possible to exhibit such qualities only when you are willing to make this a priority in life and when you truly wish to make it work. The moment you take it up half-heartedly and even with a small amount of doubt in mind it will become difficult for you to give 100% to the relationship. At the same time we should not forget the fact that we are all humans and for something that is so long term, there is a possibility of facing a change of mind, unhappiness with the behavior of our partner.
We all change over a period of time and with that our likes and dislikes also changes. The things we wish to do and the way we wish to lead our life also undergoes a major change. It is possible that we encounter some major challenges in our marriage which are caused by these changes. This may damage your relationship and make it difficult for you to cope with it. But, there is always a possibility of healing such damages. The most important thing required for such kind of healing is the willingness of both partners. Irrespective of what the challenge is, if both of you are willing to make the effort required to amend the relationship and start all over again, it is possible to heal all the damage.
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If you both commit to healing the relationship and stick together for a longer run, here are the things you can do to deal with infidelity in your marriage and recreate the magic all over again.
Ways To Deal With Infidelity In Marriage
#1. The first thing you will need to do is be honest all over again. This applies to both the partners, the one who made a mistake, will need to be honest about all the details of the affair they had. The other partner will have to be completely honest regarding the way they feel about being betrayed. When you make it a point to tell your partner all the details of the kind of affair you had and the person you had it with, it will make them realize the fact that you are making an effort to establish the trust that went missing. On the other hand, when you confide in your partner about how hurt you are because of their conduct, it will help to establish the love and affection back again.
#2. You need to be willing to answer all the questions of your partner. This is applicable for the person who had an affair. You will need to understand; your partner may be feeling insecure because of what they had to go through. It is not easy to deal with it when your partner cheats on you. There may be many questions in their mind, the answers to which may be hard for you to give, but is very much required. Once they understand that you are willing to answer their questions, they will be able to be sure that you too wish to patch up the relationship again.
The answers are really crucial, as they will help them to understand what happened better and exactly where they stand. This kind of conversation will also mean the two of you are interacting with each other about the issue which is proving to be the cause of the damage to your relationship. This is a very good way of healing the relationship. You will be able to gauge the amount of healing that is taking place by keeping track of how comfortable you both are talking to each other about this topic. True healing is not only discussing things; you will know things are better when the conversation can take place without feeling the pain the damage had caused.
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#3. Make sure you do not give up. This kind of recovery can take a long period of time. Such things are not easy and it can often take a long time to get back to the normal. Please do not expect that you both will be able to interact in the same way, as you did before facing this challenge. Getting back to the normal routine way of interacting with all the love and ease will surely take a lot of time. This may differ from individual to individual, but in most cases the time taken for the recovery is long. This kind of a challenge can come as a shock, the healing of such damage which has strong emotional pain attached to it can only be healed over a considerable period of time. It will take time for both the individuals to regain the ease that they shared before.
This is also going to be true for the person who is at fault, because they may be constantly feeling the guilt. When they are genuinely sorry about hurting the person they love the most, it can come as a shock to them as well. They will need an equal amount of time to get rid of the baggage of the wrong they did to start all over again. It will take a good amount of effort from their side as well. Thus, being patient is going to be essential for both the partners.
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#4. The two of you will need to improve your communication. Please realize the fact that the two of you will be able to better the relationship with better communication on a regular basis. One of the main reasons of infidelity in any relationship is the lack of proper communication between the two people in the partnership. There comes a time in many marriages when both the people are so tired of dealing with the everyday conflicts and life seems mundane, they start living in denial. One of the results of denial is the reduction of proper communication between the two partners.
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When you are making an effort to improve the communication and heal the relationship with your spouse, the first thing you will need to stop doing is living in ignorance. No matter how difficult it is, you will have to confront each other and deal with all those things that have not been acknowledged for a long period. It is important for us to remind the other person that we do care about them, irrespective of how long it has been in a relationship. We all are aware of how we care for people but fail to take out the time to express our emotions to our loved ones. This is what makes all the difference in a relationship.
#5. Taking responsibility is going to be very helpful for healing the relationship. This is applicable for both the partners. If you are at fault, make sure you do not keep blaming your partner for your mistake. Take responsibility for the fact that you are at fault and make sure the mistake does not happen again. You may wish to complain about the reasons that made you commit the mistake. Maybe your partner was at fault. But, bringing it up, again and again, will not be helpful in healing the matter. It will only lead to making the situation worse.
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On the other hand, if you are the one who is trying to forgive your partner, do not keep blaming them for committing a mistake. It is going to be difficult for you to forgive them, but if you are wishing to heal the relationship, then you will have to make an effort to take responsibility for the way you are reacting and forgive your partner. When you will be able to forgive them, it will make space for a healthy exchange between the two of you. This can prove to be a good start for getting back to creating the positive relationship and life you two want to create.
Have you experienced this kind of challenge in your marriage? Do you think making a sincere effort can help in healing a damaged marriage? Do you feel the above solutions are going to be helpful in getting rid of infidelity and healing your marriage after that? Please comment in the box below and let us know your opinion.
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