Everyone experiences anger or frustration and it is an inevitable part of our existence. The levels might vary from low to moderate and extreme. But the emotion essentially remains the same. It typically is about experiencing constant or temporary dissatisfaction that gives rise to the feelings of resentment. However, anger can also be good in situations where you sense something isn't right and an internal alarm rings to let you fight against the inequitable.
Anger is often called as the secondary emotion of all living beings. A secondary emotion usually arises from the reaction that's been initiated from several other primary emotions like frustration, rejection or humiliation. We first feel forced, trapped, attacked, offended and pressurized to instantly feel angry. Think of it as an iceberg, the 10% visibility above the water line is because of the 90% emotions that exist below the same. We resort towards anger to cover up our vulnerabilities. And we always feel in a different manner before we witness anger.
There are several factors that can lead to anger in a particular situation. Anger is a temporary madness. But one should also understand that where there is anger, there also subsides some kind of pain underneath. And here are a few reasons that result in uncontrolled and hurtful anger:
#1. The protection of family members
#2. For preventing the loss of any possessions
#3. Sexual frustrations
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#4. Hunger, pain, tiredness or failure
#6. Use or withdrawal of drugs, alcohol or medications
#7. Physical/ mental ailments
#8. Bullying or humiliation
#9. Routine stress and anxiety
There are several other emotions and circumstances that drive in anger. And, at times, it is hard to notice anything else. But, what factors really trigger the rage can only be explored by you. You will have to pay attention to your thoughts as they are the ones usually fueling all other emotions.
Whenever you are being angry in a situation, and you constantly keep doing that, it can lead to several physical or emotional illnesses in the longer run. Unmanaged and recurring stress along with anger can not only lead to metabolic changes but also kill you if the situation remains the same. But, when you know how to be under control, you are freeing yourself from the below mentioned (potential) dangers.
#1. Hypertension/ high blood pressure
#2. Heart attack
#3. Irritable bowel syndrome
#5. Depression and moodiness
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#7. Weakening immune system
#9. Lowering self-esteem
Coping with anger is a skill that can be acquired over the time. Therefore, anger management is basically the process of controlling your anger in just any given circumstance. It makes you capable enough to recognize the signs that trigger your anger and subsequently help you control the same. You start taking the required actions to calm yourself. It also encourages you to hold in your anger. And by "in" we don't mean that it suppresses your emotion which would come out in an inappropriate manner later on.
Anger is a normal phenomenon that can also be healthy when expressed appropriately. Therefore, even when you feel like expressing the anger, you exactly know how to do so! You can easily redirect your energy into something that resourcefully utilizes the same.
All our lives, we have heard people telling us not to get angry or that anger is not good for our health. But, least do we realize that no one really told us how to stop this emotion from taking a toll on our lives. Therefore, here is how to deal with anger issues at work and what are the ways to controll anger effectively.
#1. Talk About Your Problems
Sometimes, all you need to do is just talk with a colleague, superior or any reliable person at work about what all problems you are facing. It isn't necessary that they might have solutions. But you might unexpectedly find answers while discussing your issues. And this is also a required step to not let your concerns go unnoticed and/ or unaddressed.
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#2. Proactive Dealing
Yes, you need to be vocal about what is exactly troubling you. Just yelling at people won't work. you need to take proactive steps and rectify the source of your frustrations. Therefore, propose newer initiatives to improve the professional environment.
#3. Engagements After Work
You need to start engaging with your employees or colleagues after the working hours. Why? Won't this break your professional line of hierarchy? No! It will, in fact, help you know them more and you will also be able to establish better approachability for sorting out the causes of your disappointments or stress. So, start getting involved in work events or go out for group lunch/ dinner to know where things are going wrong.
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#4. Maintain An Anger Diary
One way to avoid being angry in a situation is to get rid of the potential triggers. But what if you don't know what is triggering such emotions? Start recording your feelings! In a particular episode, note what happened before you got angry, note down what your reactions were and what helped you cope with it. This way, you will understand what actually worked in that situation and what did not. You can devise a better anger management plan, and therefore it will also help you modify your thoughts. All your anger problems start with the way you think, hence thoughts shouldn't be so powerful that they overtake your progress curve.
#5. They Aren't Mind Readers
Sharing your problems with a colleague is one thing. But sharing it with the one you are concerned about is entirely a different thing. Let them know what is irritating you, what you feel and how you feel. Do not assume them to be a mind reader.
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You never know, the other person was just following the way he/ she usually does but you are actually the odd one out. Everyone has a different perspective while you are working in a professional environment. And assumptions are the termites of every association. Therefore, you shouldn't be bothered unless you aren't discussing the problems.
#6. See The Bigger Picture
When you are working in a company, there are enormous historical timeframes involved behind making things the way they are right now. So, you will have to look at the things even from the organization's point of view. Sometimes, the things that are bothering you are the things that can be taken on a lighter note to avoid all the hassles. Maybe, you are just trying to abide by the rules, but when you try to see the bigger and clearer picture, none of it would actually be required.
#7. Design Positive Conversations For Stating Your Position
Get very specific when it comes to this aspect of anger management. Design a conversation plan to outline your current situation. Note the answers to questions like what are you doing well with, where you are lacking and what you want to see changed. Once you are clear with this aspect, propose a conclusion.
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Focus on realistic ways where you can make not only yourself but even the organization successful. Let this plan be the strongest and this way you can have a great conversation with your boss if there is any anger or ego related issue with the management.
#8. Believe In your Abilities
What may ever be the situation, you have to keep believing in your abilities. When there is self-doubt, feelings of frustration become stronger. You don't have to portray defeat but show the feelings of oneness with your abilities. When you recognize this fact, you will be in a better state of mind which also help you keep moving forward.
#9. Find The Silver Lining
Finding a little positivity in the situation might help you improve your perspective. Take for example this little incident, if you have a meeting with your boss and he/ she is late for the same, do not get frustrated for the time you think is being wasted. Instead, channelize your thoughts into thinking about the extra time (for preparation) that you've got before the meeting begins.
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#10. Go For Calming techniques
If you feel anger is on its way, try to calm yourself by spending some time alone. Get away from others, close your eyes, take a deep breath and free yourself from the emotional/ mental tensions. Learn the art of developing emotional intelligence to have a control over your sentiments. Initially, you might get even more frustrated, but with practice, you will know the benefits. Also, opt for yoga or meditation to let you stay calm and composed even otherwise.
There should be a sense of control but the excessive desire only leads to suffering. It is impossible to be in control. However, letting your emotions out in a subtle manner is the key. Liked what you just read? Want to read more such informational stuff? Would you like to share any of your personal experiences or opinions? Let us know through the comment section below. We would love to hear from you!
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