Psychologists define anger as an emotion of a person towards something, or someone he feels has done him wrong. While it can be a good thing as it is a way to express negative feelings, excessive anger can lead to health problems like increased blood pressure.
Does your partner has spontaneous outbursts of anger, and this is affecting your relationship? If yes, then you are on the right page. If you think that there is no solution to this problem and plan on spending your life with the issue, then you are wrong. Here are seven simple tips for you to help your partner in anger control and prevention, and turn him into a better person.
#1. Become Friends
All of us have a psychological need of a friend in our lives with whom we wish to share our responsibilities. We want that person to encourage us in solving the problems of our life but not address these problems for us. A friend who treats us well and in response, we treat him well. If you play the role of a mother to your partner, you will never get him to deal with the causes of his anger.
#2. Be Appreciative
It has been observed that most of the people who suffer from anger-related issues feel unappreciated in one aspect of their life or another. There could be problems at work that you are unaware of. Nagging him to earn more or strive for promotion will only intensify the anger, and drive you further apart. Rather, you can be the person who appreciates his work and takes some pressure off of him.
#3. Give Him Space
Men, especially angry men, do not like to be pushed. Pushing them threatens their already struggling masculinity and escalates the anger. Instead, you can give him space to deal with his problems. Furthermore, anger is a temporary feeling, and you would be adding fuel to the fire if you reciprocate his passion. Let him calm down and then try to deal with him.
#4. Give Him Time
This is an era of instant gratification; high-speed internet, super fast computers, online shopping. This has created a natural feeling of hate towards wait within us. Urgency on your part for him to deal with his anger problems will not do any good to him, and neither to you. A person needs time to diffuse his anger, which may be days, weeks or months.
#5. Establish His Responsibility
Dealing with anger problems start with accepting that one suffers from it. Therefore, if your partner’s anger issues get him into trouble, let him know that he is responsible. Often, wives feel responsible for their husband’s anger and take the blame, and this does not stop the problem. When someone understands the repercussions of his actions, only then he starts to make changes.
#6. Affirm Him
A leading cause of anger issues is self-doubt. When a person loses confidence in himself or his abilities, anger starts accumulating within him. If you have observed that your partner is suffering from low self-esteem or self-doubt, help him regain confidence. You can do so by complimenting him for the work he has done and appreciating the person that he is.
#7. Be There
The anger outbursts of your partner at times may urge you to separate for some time. A temporary separation may even be necessary if you feel threatened of your physical safety. However, if you plan to help your partner in anger management, then you have to realize that you can be more helpful staying with him, rather than being somewhere else. Be with him as a friend, and try not to judge him like anybody else.
Due to the lack of awareness about mental disorders and a taboo associated with these, people refrain from receiving professional help. Therefore, if you wish to help your partner with his anger problems, these are some tips that will assist you with the process.