If you were friends with a couple and you knew of infidelity, would you tell?

1,184 Views Updated: 10 May 2018
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Okay so I'm going to try to summarize this quickly.  I've been in a relationship for 5 years. One day, my boyfriend decided he didn't want to be together anymore.  During the course of our relationship, I managed to acquire friends from his work. He befriended people at work and they hung out with him, and naturally I was associated with them. We talked, text regularly, they've been to our house for social gatherings and all that stuff.

 Once we broke up, I didn't get a text or phone call from these people. They were taking my at-the-time boyfriend out to have a good time, but not once did any of them feel the need to reach out and be there on my end. One particular event transpired - my boyfriend was out drinking heavily and he nearly ended up having sex with someone from the club, and made out with them all night. (It never came to sex after heavily inquiring with the people who were at the club) 

Anyhow, the friend that was with my at the time ex, knew about it and never mentioned it to me. I know people are probably thinking, 'well if you were broken up, why would anyone say anything?'. Because even though we were broken up, it wasn't an actual breakup in a traditional sense. We still slept in the same bed, still had sex with one another, still would get a text saying ''I'm coming home".  So although our relationship was on the skids, we still were living our lives as if we were still together, and these people had full knowledge of this.

We're back together and things have got a lot better fortunately, but I still harbor this anger inside myself directed towards the ''friends''. Once we got back together, it was as though nothing had ever happened and we were supposed to pick right back up where we left off, and I couldn't do that.   In my head, if I knew a couple and I was friends with said couple, and they were going through relationship issues, and I knew that they were still sexually active with one another, and then seeing one of the people within that relationship having sexual endeavours with someone else, I would definitely say something.  Reason being, although they may be ''not together'' while still having sex with one another, I would feel it morally wrong on my part to not let the other party know that they may want to protect themselves. If one person was suddenly being promiscuous without the other party having knowledge of this, and they contracted a life altering disease that will be with them for the rest of their lives, I would not be able to live with myself.  

This is where I fall on the moral scale. I feel that although it may not be my relationship nor issue, if I see someone doing something that could put an innocent person as risk by someone else's actions they had no idea of, I would feel as though I contributed to the consequences.  Am I wrong for this?  My boyfriend and I have had this discussion, and he feels as though he would not get involved as it would not be his place. I feel, if you are my friend and you're in a relationship, and I'm friends with both, it would be wrong for me not to look out for my friend.  Opinions please? 

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