If your parents are getting divorced, it is likely for you to feel low and have a number of negative feelings. But in the midst of everything, you should remember that the reason your parents are getting separated is that they do not get along that well anymore. It has nothing to do with you, so do not try to think otherwise. It is very important for you to share your feelings with another adult or maybe a counselor because keeping your feelings inside will only make you more stressed.
Dealing with the fact that your parents are getting divorced is never easy as you will have a lot of new emotions and a lot of changes that will come along with the divorce. It may feel like the sky is falling on your head but trust us it is eventually going to be okay. If you're still wondering how to deal with your parent's divorce, here are some points you need to know -
#1. Acknowledge Your Parent's Divorce
If you just came to know that your parents are getting a divorce, you will start to have that feeling of loss. The loss of a home, loss of security, loss of a good future and maybe loss of a family altogether. It is normal to feel everything that is in your mind with the first thought of your parents being separated. But do not hold on to those feelings for a long time and talk to your parents about the situation at hand. Ask them how they plan to manage things after the divorce so that you have a clear picture in your head. That might make you feel a little less depressed about the unstable situation in your family.
#2. Dealing With Your Parent's Divorce After A Lifetime Of Marriage
We grow up as kids seeing our parents together and we tend to assume that they love each other a lot. It is completely normal if you feel shocked at first knowing that your parents are getting divorced. The shock might come out in the form of anger too at times, and you cannot help but be cross with your parents. You might even question who is more responsible for the divorce, your mother or father. At this time, remember the fact that your parents still love and want the very best for you. You might have been used to seeing them together and might not be able to bear the thought of one of them leaving the house. But you should know that your relationship with your parents still remains the same even after the divorce. You can visit them anytime you want and spend time like earlier.
#3. How To Deal With Parent's Divorce As A Teenager
Being in the teenage, you must already be feeling a lot of emotions of your own life and dealing with parent's divorce can be tough at this time especially. But you must know that it is for the best. You won't have to see them arguing and shouting on a daily basis anymore. You should see the silver lining in the black clouds. Know that they had to leave each other because they were not able to make peace with living together. Focus on your studies even if you find it a bit difficult as that might just take your mind off of the things going on at home.
#4. How To Handle Your Parents Getting Divorced
During the divorce of your parents, you are not the only one who will be having a disturbed mindset. Your parents are equally disturbed and heartbroken. They will also be having other worries about the financial situation and keeping the kids together. One of the most common mistakes that couples make is not talking about how things will be in the future. You as a child can take things in your hand and take a stand. Talk to your parents about this and discuss with whom you will be staying after the divorce and how you can arrange meeting the other parent who is staying apart. If it troubles them to come to your school events together, you can talk about that too and decide who will be coming to which event. This way you will be getting the company of both your parents and both the parents will feel equally attached to you even after the divorce.
#5. Accept Your Feelings
The very important thing to do while your parents are getting divorced is accepting how you feel about it. Even if your feelings are very different from what kids actually have, you should be okay with it because no two kids feel the same way about their parent's divorce. If your parents were quarreling a lot before the divorce and you feel happy now they are separated, there is nothing to be guilty of the feeling. After all the divorce happened for a reason. Also if you are completely shocked as you never expected your parents to get divorced, you can express those feelings too as that happens with children who think that their parents are perfectly happy with each other. Anger, sadness, shock, guilt, scared or any other emotion, you have to accept what you feel and not suppress it within. Accepting will make the situation a little better for you.
#6. Find Ways To Divert Your Mind
If you are going through the phase where you do not want to talk to anybody because you feel so low due to your parent's divorce, then you do not have to force yourself to do so and there are other alternatives to that you can try to help you divert your mind. One of the good options can be finding a hobby or spending more time if on it if you already have one. You can try playing some sport if you like spending time outdoors. If you are more of an insider, go to the library and get some books for yourself. If you still feel suffocated about all the feelings, try penning them down in a journal being very open and honest about how you feel. Expressing feelings will definitely help you move on with feeling sad. You can try other things too like gardening, getting a pet, painting or sketching, make hand-made stuff and other past times. These will really help you divert your mind and make you feel happy.
#7. Avoid Isolating Yourself
The last thing that you should do during your parent's divorce is not talking to people around you. You might want to just stay in one corner of your room listening to music or just laying around. But that will keep your feelings burdened on your mind and that's why you need a human you can talk to and tell how terrible it is for you. You might want to go over to a friend's place and hang out. Go to new places with them and have a good conversation. If you don't want to share your family secrets with a friend, you can count on your siblings or relatives. They know you well and even understand the situation. So, they will be able to talk about your feelings and guide you to adapt to everything. If you still feel that you cannot confide in about your feelings with someone you know, you can always seek professional help i.e., you can meet up a psychologist or a counselor. You can tell them how you feel and how the divorce of your parents is affecting you. This is sure to make you feel very light
We are sure that your parents getting divorced will bring a totally new life for you, but you do not necessarily need to feel scared of that. These bits of advice above will definitely help you in coping with your negative emotions. Live your day like you did before your parents broke up. Keep things going on their normal routine because the more you make up your mind that it is nothing unusual, the more you will actually start feeling it too. In fact, you should start being open to new things that might happen in the future after your parents are divorced.
You should even consider the factor that your parents might start dating other people soon as the divorce cannot just be the end of their lives. So let everything go with the flow while you learn to live your life without being too disturbed with the separation of your parents. Just remember the fact that the divorce happened for good as they might not have considered this option had they been able to resolve their issues. Try to be there for your parents emotionally as much as you can and let them know that it will alright. Together you can share your feelings, and everybody will be able to settle down in their lives again. After all, It is never too late to start your life afresh and take it to a beautiful phase again.
(Image Courtesy: 1. Patrick Markey Law, 2. Kidzedge, 3. Woman's Day, 4. Huffington Post
(Featured Image Courtesy: Thought Catalog)
