What Mistakes do Couples make during Divorce?

1,494 Views Updated: 25 Sep 2017
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What Mistakes do Couples make during Divorce?

Are you falling out of love with your partner? Do you think that there is absolutely nothing worthwhile left in your marriage? Have you been thinking about divorcing your partner?

If it is so, we can understand the pain you are going through. Separating from a loved one can cause you heartbreak and lots of disappointment. It is a difficult phase for you and your family to handle, and therefore it is more likely to incline you towards making mistakes.

A divorce is an emotional decision but needs to proceed in all your senses. In an urge to get away with it as soon as possible, do not make horrible mistakes.

Many couples going through a divorce, make a lot of mistakes which only results in conflicts and frustration. Every situation is unique, and therefore demands a careful research and understanding. There is always a right and wrong way to go about things. It’s up to you to decide.

Here are few of such mistakes which couples usually make while divorcing but should be avoided to keep the process simple and smooth.

What Are The Most Common Divorce Mistakes?

Divorce can be a roller coaster ride wherein you go through various emotions. Separating with your partner should never be an impulsive decision instead it should be a well-thought-of agreement.

Before you take the final step, just think about these mistakes that you should avoid.

#1. No Prior Discussions

 It should not matter if you wish to separate from your partner or not; you should keep it honest and transparent. If you are having problems in your marriage, take out some time to discuss the problems. Don’t jump the gun and shock him with the divorce news before discussing the matter. You might even end up saving some time and money if you can solve some issues before they go out of your hand.

(Image Courtesy: Dr. Prerna Kohli)

#2. Breaking The Trust  

Every relationship is based on trust and honesty. If you’re planning to pack your stuff and move it out behind your partner’s back, then think again. As soon as they find it out, their trust on you would be shattered. This will affect your divorce proceedings, hopefully in the wrong way. It will only add up to the strain and pressure.

#3. Nasty Comments

We understand your frustration which led to making you think of a divorce, but we still suggest you to hold your horses. Using inflammatory language and name-calling will worsen the situation. This can get critical especially when you have kids in the house.

(Image Courtesy: majalatouki)

#4. Stubbornness

Arguing about every little thing may seem obvious at the moment but will later only cause problems. The more you make it harder, the more money you’ll have to spend to get out of it. Hold your head high and try to come to reasonable resolutions by putting necessary information forward.

#5. Not Gathering Sufficient Information

When a partner files for a divorce, situations change drastically between the couple. This makes it more difficult for the couple to come to any agreements related to the marital property. If you are not accurate about your partner’s assets before you file for divorce, it will become impossible to know it later. Your spouse may be trying to hide their assets and can also try to freeze the joint accounts to prevent misuse.

(Image Courtesy: Rocket Lawyer)

#6. Not Hiring The Right Lawyer 

Many people think that they are self-sufficient and can handle the divorce proceedings themselves without the need of a lawyer. It is a huge mistake because these decisions come back to haunt you later.

An experienced lawyer will be able to protect your rights and assets at such a challenging phase. Your attorney will be able to explain what is happening. It will help you in making the right decisions to begin a new life post the divorce.

#7. Getting Emotional  

Divorce is without any doubt an emotional roller coaster, and therefore it’s perfectly normal to experience feelings ranging from anger and resentment to sadness and grief.

But in order to come to an amicable agreement, it’s important that you keep your emotions out of the negotiations. Consult a lawyer who can assist you through the proceedings.

(Image Courtesy: Focus on the Family)

#8. Not Thinking About The Kids

Divorce can be complicated and exhausts you mentally and physically, but that is no excuse to forget about your kids. Most couples tend to ignore their kids while having problems in their marriage. As parents, they need to prioritize their kids too.

#9. Bringing The Past Back

One cannot move forward until they let go of the past. There are cases where one of the partners is too reluctant to think about the future. They keep clinging to the past making things difficult for both the partners.

(Image Courtesy: Fact Retriever)

#10. Disagreeing To Compromise

Just like marriage, divorce too demands certain compromises. Disagreeing to compromising will only lead to further frustration and conflicts. The only way to reach to a solid and productive solution is by agreeing to follow a middle path which is suitable for both the partners. This is not the time to take a highway.

#11. Not Analyzing Your Options

Divorce should never be a decision made in haste. Many couples forget that a divorce settlement goes through a long court case. Divorce can be taken in five different ways, and hence should be thought through before coming to any conclusions. Choose the one that suits you, your partner and the kids too.

(Image Courtesy: Marriage)

#12. Post-Divorce Fighting

Divorce often leaves a sour taste in your mouth, and you end up fighting even after you are separated with your partner. Battling over child or money issues becomes a common phenomenon. It will only drain you financially and emotionally.

Divorce Financial Settlement

While the couple signs for a divorce, financial settlements become a serious matter. Because both the partners are contributing to the regular expenses, dividing marital property becomes a major concern.

Making a financial settlement should be done while considering you and your kids’ financial securities. Any negligence can ruin your future. To make sure you do not go through any such financial troubles during your divorce, avoid undertaking any of the following decisions.

What To Avoid During During Proceedings

#1. Keeping The Money Undercover

While discussing the financial settlements during a divorce, hiding your income or assets is not a good idea. Financial experts and private investigators are hired to look into your financial statements and figure out the correct value of your assets. The judge will not be kind to you in case you are found to be at fault. They don’t appreciate lies and hence they will hold you guilty.

#2. Unpleasant Expenses

Just in the verge of taking a revenge, you might end up withdrawing or spending money too lavishly. It will backfire you during the divorce negotiations. Better discuss such issues with your lawyer.

(Image Courtesy: Focus on the Family)

#3. Not Understanding The Economic Situation

In most cases, both the partners are contributing financially to attribute the household expenses.The income gets diminished after filing for divorce. This becomes a critical issue while you divide the marital property.

By being aware of such information, you can easily come down to some feasible settlements.

#4. Ignoring The Taxes 

Chances are that when you are making decisions regarding your separation or divorce, you’ll have tax implications. Some couples may forget to consider the impact of IRS on the transfer, investments, and property. Hence, it is critical to hire a professional to keep a check on these things.

(Image Courtesy: Investopedia)

When going through a divorce, the relationship between you and your soon-to-be-ex-partner is sure to become contentious. Tension and stress are common, which makes the process more cringe-worthy.

Problems like poor communication and overflow of emotions will only deteriorate the situation. If you wish to make the process of your divorce run smoothly and without any hassles, it is better that you avoid making any stupid mistakes.

Do not let your emotions overshadow your intellect and create obstacles in taking the right decisions. There are several ways which can help you in smoothing out your divorce proceedings, one of which is by staying away from common mistakes that most couples make. Avoid making these mistakes and you are sure to get over with your problems soon.

Do you think there is anything that should be added to the list? Let us know in the comment section below.

(Featured Image Courtesy: Dream Stop)

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