Commitment isn’t for everyone. A serious relationship is not everyone’s cup of tea. Sometimes all you want is a more subtle, liberating, casual relationship, which comes with no baggage and just fun. It could be because you just came out of a long-term relationship and are not looking to jump into another one.
A casual relationship, as the name suggests, is easier and much more casual than the clichéd romantic relationship. A committed relationship may feel like a comfortable soft blanket (which eventually makes you sleep), a casual relationship is all about the fire, the excitement, and the passion that keeps you alive. Romance is not made for everyone, and if you are one of those too, then casual relationships are meant for you.
A casual relationship is a sort which has no standard rules and can be improvised as per the partners. A casual relationship does not demand any emotional investment from either of the partners. Both the people are in it for the moment and can leave whenever they feel the need to or when someone better comes up. A casual relationship can be called an outlet to satiate your sexual and emotional desires without the bondage of any boundaries that are usually present in a romantic relationship.
Most people will agree with us when we say that casual relationships are fun and easy and hence very likable. Saying so, we do not wish to undermine a romantic relationship. Lucky are those who can find their true partners and are happy with them. But for the ones who wish to have 'no strings attached' and who love their 'personal space' more than anything, casual relationships are their go-to choice.Most people might disagree with the idea of a casual relationship, but unintentionally or unconsciously most of us had been or are involved in one such causal relationship.
There are times when all you need is a reckless rush of a rollercoaster ride that gives you a racing heart and makes you feel dazed and leaves you back to square one at the end. This is when you know that you need a casual relationship that keeps you on the edge of a seat just like a blockbuster movie.
As easy as it sounds, casual relationships can turn into a complete mess if you do not follow the rules. Also, there could be times when you start falling for your casual partner which will definitely affect the relationship because it won’t be casual anymore. If you want to keep your casual relationship casual, then here’s what you can do.
#1. Don’t Confuse Your Emotions
When you enter a casual relationship, the chances are high that you invest more than required. It is important that you talk it out with your partner to make sure that you both are on the same lines.
It is easy to believe that you are falling for your partner, so do not confuse your emotions. If you feel so, take a break. Do not contact them for a while and know if you miss them or were you just confused. You may be experiencing a mild infatuation which is indeed necessary, but do not go beyond that.
#2. Don’t Lose Control
When in a casual relationship, there is always the dominating partner, who decides the time for hooking up and the time to stay away. If you are the one letting your partner take all the decisions for you, then you are probably falling for them or because you do not want to lose them. If you feel controlled or dominated, just get out of the relationship before your heart gets broken.
#3. Ground Rules
There are no hard and fast rules in a casual relationship. But that doesn’t imply that there are no rules at all. A few basic rules will help you sustain your casual relationship for a long time and in a healthy manner. It may sound weird at first, but you should ask your partner a few questions like, are you okay with being non-exclusive and dating other people at the same time? Can we end things abruptly if one of us falls in love with someone else? How many times should you hang out? (This one will help you understand each other’s expectations) Should we keep this relationship a secret from everyone else? If things do not work out for you, will you tell me when you feel it? Do not hesitate to ask these questions, because you’ll regret not asking them after a month or two in the relationship. Get through the awkwardness in the very beginning.
#4. Don’t Ever Use The Word 'Love'
The most important rule of keeping a casual relationship from ending is never to say the three magical (deadly in your case) words 'I Love You.' Trust us; it is so going to end things for you. A casual relationship is far away from the emotional baggage that is part and parcel of a romantic relationship. There are chances that you feel intensely attracted to your casual partner, but saying 'I Love You' will either take your relationship to another level or will end it forever.
#5. Did You Cross The Line?
A casual relationship is full of invisible boundaries that should be recognized by you and your partner. Neither of you is answerable to each other for your actions nor do you have any control over each other’s life. If your partner keeps asking about your other dates or talks about love too frequently, you know that it is time to talk it out. Also, there could be times when your partner starts dominating or taking control over your life. Things like these need to be discussed in a casual relationship. If you feel intimidated or uncomfortable at any given point in time, tell your partner what’s on your mind.
#6. They Want You But Not A Relationship
Just remember that a casual relationship will not necessarily fulfill your emotional desires. There is a possibility that your partner is completely unavailable to you in emotional matters. And you cannot blame them because casual relationships do not come with any conditions. So do not have high hopes for a casual romance. Just focus on having fun, take it easy and keep your options open instead of wanting to get exclusive as it ends the very meaning of keeping it casual. The whole purpose of getting into a casual relationship is because you do not want to be emotionally available to your partner and just enjoy all the sexual benefits of the relationship. You better not be surprised when you see your partner completely closing them off from the emotional part of the relationship.
#7. Avoid Relationship Milestones
One of the biggest milestones in any relationship is 'meeting the friends.' If you are in a casual relationship and wish to keep things casual, then it's better that you keep away from reaching any such milestones. Meeting the friends is like knowing the other side of you. Your friends are the people who have shaped you the way you are and meeting them can change things for both of you on an emotional level. You can spend as much time together as you wish to, but make sure that you remember that you have a separate life which need not be disclosed. Celebrating anniversaries, calling them your boyfriend/girlfriend and giving them space in your closet or room are a total NO-NO.
#8. Limit Yourself
When we say that you can spend as much time together as you like, we definitely meant that the time should be limited or fixed. Yes, a casual relationship is all about boundaries and limitations. Talk it out with your partner and decide upon the time that both of you would like to invest in each other. Being part of a casual relationship demands that you do not spend all your time together. Most people in such relationship meet each other occasionally to avoid emotional attachment. Saying that you obviously do not want radio silence because you aren’t strangers and some sort of chemistry is important to keep the fire alive. Just keep a check on the time duration of your phone calls and chats. Keep them short and sweet.
A casual relationship can be the best thing that could happen to you if you genuinely try to keep it casual. There is no emotional baggage except a few rules that you need to abide by. Communication is the strongest point when it comes to keeping your casual relationship casual.
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10 Opinions
Casual relationships are super complicated when it comes to emotional confusions. They say that it’s easy to handle a casual relationship because it has no emotions involved, but how do you expect two people to be sexually involved keeping aside their emotional desires.
I was faced with all these questions when I told my friends about my casual relationship.
I have had a casual relationship with a guy I met at a friend’s party. Our connection was instant and fun. The chemistry was palpable and neither of us denied it. We exchanged our numbers and kept hanging out together. Everything seemed perfect and we didn’t feel the need to label our relationship.
We both were happy being together and still giving each other the space we wanted. Neither of us wanted a serious relationship because our connection wasn’t as strong. It was a quick thing, and was majorly about the attraction and instant infatuation we shared.
After a date or two we discussed our feelings and luckily enough we were on the same page when it came to the emotional investment in the relationship. Casual relationships can easily work if each of the partners abides by the ground rules. We listed our own rules and came down to a mutually decided list. One cannot demand exclusivity in a casual relationship and we both agreed to it. We gave each other the freedom to be involved with other people if given a chance.
It’s been said that it is better if you decide upon the number of times you guys should hang out to maintain a decent chemistry, which is neither too much or too less. But honestly, it is practically impossible. One cannot decide the number of times you meet, it depends on how you people like it. I didn’t want to limit us with such rules and hence never brought it up. We knew what we were into and hence kept our meetings occasional yet interesting.
I never thought a casual relationship could be this fun and was apprehensive in the beginning. I talked to my friend about it and she assured me about the benefits with one condition of me being able to control my emotions. It was easy for me as getting too emotional has never been my forte and luckily the guy was almost the same kind.
We kept things very clear between us since the very beginning and that helped a lot. We decide on not letting a lot of people know about it, because everyone cannot understand such relationships and will put you into unwanted pressures.
Quite honestly, I find it way better than the clichéd romantic relationships which are burdened with emotional baggage. I have never been a romantic and hence could never prepare myself for romancing. My idea of a relationship has been very liberating since the start and I have been lucky enough to find someone who shares my thoughts.
Yes, I do like this guy and won’t let the chance of being with him, if that ever happens. Right now we have not discussed about anything else and are enjoying the current phase.