Let’s say that a man and a woman are friends and they have known each other for a while and “nothing” has ever happened between them. The chemistry between them is palpable and they’ve been in situations where either of them could have made a move but did not. It is so because apparently, they both have pure intentions.
For example, he thinks that she is sexy and has always wanted to take her out, get an inch closer to her on the couch but is still not doing it. Why? Is it because the girl has made it clear that she’s not on the lookout for a sexual relationship? Even if the guy understands her feelings, wouldn’t it be unfair for the guy to get friend zoned because he cannot leave her voluntarily? How can we not expect an emotional mess up in such cases? It is so going to happen.
Just because the girl feels comfortable enough with you to share her feelings or her secrets with you, does not make you anything more than a friend. And if she does it even after knowing that you like her, she’s probably a cock teaser. Similarly, if the guy shares his relationship details with you, he is only looking for a friend, you have been clearly friend zoned!!
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Then what exactly is a platonic relationship? Can we call it a “romantic friendship”? Can that even be a relationship? Either you are friends with someone, or you are romantically involved with them. You cannot eat the cake and keep it too, right?
The term might have made a place in the urban dictionary, but our minds are still confused with the very concept. It’s been said that a platonic relationship is a one that is devoid of any romantic or sexual desires. A “romantic friendship” is a close and intimate affair which lacks sexual partnership. It involves cuddling, touching, hand holding but not having sexual intercourse.
In simple words, it’s a total NO-NO from our side!
A confused relationship status is bound to mess you up emotionally. Although, there is always a BUT in such situations. In the world we breathe in these days, there is an abundance of alternate options when it comes to being with someone.
Well, we are not sure if this works, but you can always try and explore. Life’s too short to over think after all.
Unless you and your ‘platonic friend or cuddle buddy” are not romantically or sexually attracted to someone else, there is always a possibility that you smell something brewing. A platonic relationship is a risky setup, and there are always chances of either or both the people involved to invest more than expected. Trust us, a cup of coffee is enough to make you fall for her.
A platonic relationship calls for ground rules. Whenever you plan to involve yourself in a confused relationship, it is better that you write down the ground rules. There are no fixed rules; one can create them according to their relationship. It is better to clear out the “kind” of friendship that the two of you want to share; is it the one where you just stick to being casual friends or something that is more than friends and less than lovers.
If you have made the decision, then better show some trust in it. Put aside all the possibilities and just enjoy the relationship. You are responsible for your decisions, do not let societal or peer pressure ruin your moments. Getting into a platonic relationship was your decision, now better stick to it. Believe in it for what it is and trust both of you to fulfill the platonic compact.
It is always helpful to think about the positive aspects of something to hold yourself to it. Just think about the benefits that you gain by staying in a platonic relationship, it’ll help you resist from falling into the pool of romance. Some of the benefits of platonic relationship are:
#1. You get to share a lot together at a spiritual and emotional level
#2. You aren't plagued by the romantic love and sexual relations
#3. You get to stay away from doubts, jealousies, and complications
#4. You can learn about one another in a safe and resounding manner
#5. You will always have someone you can go to for genuine, fearless, and forthright advice
A platonic relationship is possible between two people who are actually in a romantic relationship with someone but stick to each other for emotional support. If you have a platonic friend who has a partner, then it is important that you assure them about the boundaries of your relationship. It will help in keeping the air clear between all the three or maybe four of you. Stay out of any potentially compromising situations, such as staying till late at their apartment or getting too close to them without the partner’s consent.
You need to acknowledge the concerns of their partner because they are the ones who have agreed to let you maintain such a relationship.
Okay, so a platonic relationship is complicated and we all know it by now. There will be times when you are deliberately suppressing the sexual tension in your relationship because you do not want to ruin the relationship. These never fulfilled desires are sure to cause frustration after a point of time. Instead of suffering by yourself, share them with your platonic friend and discover some problem-solving ways to get out of that zone. Do not act on it because some feelings are worth acknowledging and can even make your relationship better than before.
You need to talk to your partner about your platonic friend. And here’s how you can do it.
#1. It’s No Big Deal Darling
You need to assure your partner about the platonic friend. Take them out for Friday night in office or any place where you can make the two meet in person. Your partner needs to feel secure about your relationship with him/her.
#2. Think Before You Say Or Do Anything
A platonic relationship is a slippery path, so better wear your gumboots or else you are sure to fall. Before getting “too cuddly” with your platonic friend, just ask yourself if you should do that with a ‘friend,' specially if you have committed to someone else. Platonic relationships do not permit you to flirt in the absence of your partner.
#3. Avoid Comparisons
Yes, a platonic relationship is meant to provide you with emotional support, but that does not let you compare both your partners. We see our partners day in and day out, but friends we see occasionally, which implies we will have much to say about our partners. Resist your urges to compare your partner with your platonic friend. Comparisons can damage your relationships.
#4. Say NO To Complains
Platonic relationships can undermine a marriage if the person constantly keeps deriding their spouse. Confiding in a friend is a different thing, but constantly nagging about your partner’s faults is a sure indication of problems surfacing in your relationship or marriage.
#5. Healthy Boundaries
Even if your relationship is going strong, it is compulsory for you to set some healthy boundaries with your platonic friend. It is without any doubt the most important establishments in your platonic relationship. Talk about everything that you cannot talk to your spouse about, but do not confuse the intellectual chemistry for romance.
#6. Be Honest
If you invest too much in your platonic relationship, the emotions are bound to take a toll on your relationship. An emotional affair can ruin your marriage. If you constantly feel that you’ rather be with your platonic friend than your partner, you have surely transgressed your boundaries. Just be honest with yourself.
#7. Talk To Your Spouse
Do not ever make the mistake of believing that your partner is going to be absolutely fine with your platonic friend. Be affectionate, and keep showing love to your partner to assure them of their importance in your life. Maintaining transparency through communication with your partner is the most effective way that’ll help you sustain your relationships.
Do you think a platonic relationship can be sustained without an emotional mess? Let us know in the comment section below.
(Image Courtesy: 1. Live About, 2. Date Night, 3. Chelly Wood, 4. Pop Sugar, 5. Pulse, 6. WonTalk; Love Panky (Featured Image Courtesy)
10 Opinions
I do not understand the very concept of platonic relationships. As per the dictionary, platonic implies intimate and affectionate but non sexual friendship. Like is that for real? What exactly does this suggest? You are either friends with someone or are in love. A friend could be of the same sex or the opposite one, and it is affectionate and emotionally intimate. But then why do we have another term called platonic just adding to our confusions?
For a man and woman with fully grown hormones, it is almost impossible to stay chaste when you have feelings for each other. A platonic friend is a part of your life mostly because you lack the emotionally intimacy in your relationship. For every relationship to be a success, emotional intimacy is as important as physical intimacy especially to women. One of the biggest reason that women indulge in extra marital affairs is the emotional intimacy that there partners fail to provide them. After a few years of marriage, couples tend to take each other for granted creating an emotional void in the relationship. But being involved with someone outside your marriage has to be termed as an affair; it cannot be labeled as friendship. You can obviously have friends with whom you discuss your relationship issues but you cannot look at them as a replacement or a potential partner for you.
A platonic relationship is a failure in most cases because as they say you cannot eat the cake and keep it too. It is either black or white; there is no scope for grays. You either accept your affair or completely let go off your “platonic friend” because you love your partner. You cannot stay with your partner and have a platonic friend too. You will have to make your choice. If your relationship lacks emotional intimacy, then talk to your partner about it. You both can work out things and bring back the lost spark in your marriage or relationship. Do not seek for love or attention outside your relationship if you do not want it ruin it. A platonic relationship is as confusing as its definition (romantic friendship). If you like your friend in a romantic manner but you friend does not revert your feelings, then you trapped in a one sided love relationship. Do not confuse it with a platonic relationship, because it is nothing but just a perplexing set up.
A man and woman can be friends, lovers, have one sided attraction or can be friend zoned. That is it; there are no more relationships apart from blood relations. Two people of the opposite sex cannot have feelings for one another and still stay chaste, unless either of them in asexual.
Do not even consider a platonic relationship, even if you have hit rock bottom in your relationship. Either try to make amends or leave your partner before considering another relationship. A romantic friendship will only worsen the situations for you.