There are situations in life when we feel really helpless owing to certain circumstances. The result, however, is we feel restless and become needy. We want something or someone desperately so that we can go back to the arena where we can satisfy our needs and desires. When we don’t get attention from someone or get isolated in any form, we become needy. This problem emanates because we have been in touch with the person or thing for long and we feel like a discarded can once someone gives us a wide berth. People get in a state of discomfort when they are not observed, talked to or involved in situations. As a result, they become overly needy and get after the person like mad in order to gain some affection, care, and attention from others.
At one point or the other everyone feels needy. Being needy is something which is always looked down by people. No one really likes to be around a needy person. Yes, we become needy at times but always playing that card can prove detrimental to you and might land you in a morass of adverse situation. One needs to be sensible, practical and a tad alert when it comes to dealing with people. Sometimes your one action can mar the entire situation and what you get is the disappointment. In order to stop being needy, you have to change the course of your life and incorporate some changes in your life so that you are not kept at a distance.
Wonder what to do when you are being needy to a fault? It is good to gel up with people around you but becoming adhesive is certainly not encouraging. We tend to become needy at times, but we must keep in mind that we end up in the bad books of people by negatively projecting ourselves. It’s time you stop being needy and think on changing yourself to shirk off clumsy situations. Given below are some of the pointers which can come in handy if you want to stop being needy in your life:
#1. Be Independent
When you become needy, you become dependent on someone losing your own identity and personality. You need to give yourself latitude so that you can work according to your own terms and conditions. When people work according to others and toe the line they lose their own sense of thinking and taking decisions. Therefore they depend on others for their happiness and satisfaction.
One must be capable of deciding things on his own and do something in his or her own right. Once you bring in this approach in life, you will not be clingy and would be able to deal with your problems personally instead of depending on others. In relationships too, people become needy. One should make decisions on one’s own without any interference from their partner.
#2. Ditch Your Desire For Being In A Company All The Time
If you find yourself completely out of line without the company of people you are involved with, be it colleagues, friends or family, you are extremely needy. You need to get out of this muck as quickly as possible. You need to set your mind at a fixed place and not let it allow you to hanker after a group of friends. We become needy at times inadvertently, and we keep on doing things that make fuel our desires.
This happens mostly in relationships, people cannot control their emotions, and instead of putting a check on their waves of feelings, they promote those feelings. We ought to cut the desires which coerce us into the company of someone.
#3. Confess It
It is important to admit the fact that you are needy. When you do not confess your own nature, you deny the real picture that gives you the actual nature of your disposition. Once you own up to it, you can definitely look for help so that you can improve your situation. Confessions are really difficult, however, once you realize the ground reality of your own self, you can find ways which will help you overcome this habit. For instance, if you are clinging to your partner out of jealousy or vulnerability, you can tell him directly without any inhibitions. This will make way for a better relationship.
#4. Believe In Tit For Tat
Make sure you return what you are getting in your life. Do not unnecessarily be generous on someone. You must adopt quid pro quo policy in life to lead a happy life. When you become needy, you do things for others just for seeking attention. Stop giving a wrong impression about yourself.
If someone is ostracizing you, just do not keep up with them. Behave with the other person in the same way he or she is behaving with you. Doing a favor for anyone just for the sake of love and affection will land you nowhere as others would belittle your every action and will deride you in your absence. Therefore think twice before investing too much in any relationship, save your efforts, time and energy.
#5. Feed Your Desires From Other Sources
Difficult, as it may sound, it is important to cut off from people you feel most attached. When you cling to a person, you suffocate them with your presence. Indulge in activities or a different set of friends so that you do not feel the need to go to the same person time and again. You have to open your world and horizons so that you do not feel the baggage of emotions. When you take up a new activity, you dedicate your time and energy to that particular work without getting distracted.
People become needy, and they become the object of contempt. When you can do things differently without being dependent on a single person or thing, it is worth appreciation.
#6. Have A Me-Time
In order to avoid being needy at all times, one must spend some time alone. When you invest your time in your own company, you get to learn things about yourself. You can actually talk to yourself and feel good. Learn to enjoy your own company and savor your me-time and your personal space.
When you need something in excess, you follow that thing blindly without knowing its repercussions. Me-time helps you know what importance your own relationship with you means. You won’t be able to get out of the mire unless you try and change yourself and this is possible only if you know the rudiments about yourself.
#7. Think About Your Aim In Life
It is often seen in relationships people tend to go overboard when it comes to their emotions, and things go awry. Your entire life is scheduled to one particular person and cannot think beyond them. This attitude is very perilous, and you shoehorn yourself into someone’s life even when you are not required. Do not run after someone and think of your aim in life. You cannot have a purpose in life that only means revolving around one specific person. Think how you can improve your lifestyle and introduce healthy changes so that you can be free.
#8. Do Not Behave Like A Naïve
You should understand that everyone needs his or her space. People should stop prying into someone else’s life. When you intrude into the life of someone, they become irritated and might change their behavior with you. Imagine what if people irk you with their physical or mental presence at all occasions? So be mature and try to put yourself in other’s shoes and think like others.
People need their space and time. Everyone wants to rejuvenate, do not act like a child who is stubborn. You need to have a positive outlook.
#9. Stop Begging For Someone’s Attention
Be confident in yourself and your relationships. Analyze your relationship with other people and think of spending quality time with people instead of measuring the time. The moment you beg for someone’s attention and acknowledgment, people will start taking you for granted. You need not barge into other’s activities or life without any rhyme or reason. Do things in a normal way, an excess of anything is bad, very bad. So do not resort to blackmailing people just for the sake of attention.
#10. Observe Your Body Language
Our body language speaks volumes. If you are anxious, feel sick in the pit of your stomach in someone’s absence or rejection, you are craving for attention. When people are clingy, and they don’t get their desires and needs fulfilled, they go berserk, and it is clearly visible in their actions and gestures.
For instance, you might puff and pant when you need someone and cannot do without them. Recognize these signs and symptoms early so that you can look for something that can serve as a panacea for these problems.
Have an opinion on how to stop being needy? Please give a shout to us in the comments. We would love to hear from you.
10 Opinions
Sometimes we become too needy in our lives. When we want someone’s attention to a fault, we run after that person. Same holds good for things as well. When we are needy we want it real bad. We have a burning desire within us which pushes us to chase someone or something. Often people just go mad and in order to crave attention and seek love, they become needy. We should not become needy as this gives an impression that we are too dependent on others. You are unique, as everyone is different, therefore it is necessary that you maintain your identity and become independent. Start taking your own decisions, do not depend on others for happiness and satisfaction. You have to start things afresh and anew. Change your perception and have a look at things in a new light. Do not paint your thoughts with someone else’s. This will make you more needy, making your more needy and helpless in return. At one point in my life, I also became very needy and could not come out of that zone. I started focusing on myself. One becomes needy because of one’s own conduct and line of thoughts. No one can force you do anything, similarly you should not coerce into doing anything. My mother came to my rescue in my case. I was too mad for my boyfriend, I mustered up the courage to confess the status of my relationship to my mother. At first, she went hysterical knowing about me and my relationship. She didn’t talk to me for days on end. Ultimately, she gave in and taught me about the chapters of life and asked me to look within. What she meant was self-analysis. She helped me through and through and I could not realize her significance in my life until she dragged me out of this phase. My mother supported me a great deal. There was a time in my life where I could not do without my boyfriend. I was too clingy and he did not like it at all. Our relationship was on the rocks. Just when I thought things were heading for a break-up, my mother advised me to spend some me-time. I listened, reserved some time for self-care and did the right thing. I took care of myself, my thoughts and actions. I did not spontaneously react to situations. I started to hem and haw and did things after considering them a lot. I became a lot more patient and my boyfriend, by degrees, realized this. Also, my cousin Nina, was really helpful during this terrible phase. She has been a constant support throughout. I owe her a lot. It was really natural for my mother to help me but considering the entire scenario she was really supportive and affectionate. My boyfriend also tried to teach me some bits which were really praiseworthy. Well. If you become needy, try to avoid it on your own. It all starts from you, only you. It is but you who can support yourself. So be kind with yourself and be happy.