How to talk about the Future of your Relationship?

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How to talk about the Future of your Relationship?

Talking about the future of any relationship is critical and when people have realized the wickedness of life that nothing stays permanent in this world, they need to strive harder with more grit and determination in order to stay behind the big decisions in their life. 

It will be easy to talk about the future of your relationship if communication already plays a vital role in your relationship. However, if that is not the case, you will need to speak on aspects that you think need improvement along with ones you want in the relationship. Moreover, introduce the one which you need and do not exist right now as well as the ones who have to go. 

Tips On How To Talk About The Future Of Your Relationship

#1. Compliment 

The best way to start your relationship is to give compliments to your partner and remind them what they are good at. This polite expression of admiration will make them believe that the love is very much there and giving it regularly from time to time will reinforce the belief that stoking the desire for each other will never be a problem. With the knowledge, the future is precarious, and people can betray each other for the silliest and stupidest of reasons. Appreciating what is real to your partner and telling them that they will never lose it, is surely to uproot all doubts and never make them question that "will our attraction towards each other stand the test of time?" 


#2. Zero In On What You Want 

When two people meet, it is not just a union of their current behavior, it involves what their background was and how that has influenced them. Certain aspects of our behavior can be traced back to our roots and the place we spent a lot of time in. We need to identify what we like more and what we want less and what will be good for us and what will be bad for us so that we can discuss with our partner the same and enjoy our life the way we want. 

#3. Talking About Money 

Financial security is essential in any relationship, and when you are planning to move in together or support your partner when things are not going well for them, it needs a direct conversation one which addresses how much can be provided and what all can be compromised on and what all cannot be. A lot of people act in an egotistical fashion, pretending that giving or taking money is a bigger act than it is and hence are willing to sabotage the relationship when it comes to either getting money or parting with money. This is because they feel small while getting it and feel if they give it to someone then that person who comes to their aid will never go through troubled times. One needs to understand that a couple that stays together through tough times and maintains that view that they cannot control all resources so that ones they have, will not deplete when shared with their loved ones. 


#4. Talk About Marriage 

When the relationship goes forward at a fast pace and changes are happening loud, and fast one needs to moderate the pace. This is advisable as you will come to know how committed both of you actually are and it is not just physical intimacy that you are after. A lot of people have an opinion about their marriage and these generations before us make statements that the next generation goes through and get exposed to some way or the other. One has to have a firm heart and not yield to the confusion of multiple opinions about marriage. If somebody could not keep up with it, it is not certain that you want. The best thing is to be realistic and not trouble your partner too much for doing things that demand a lot of effort and energy. The truth is your partner can make a little adjustment, and that is all you can get from them. Talking about marriage is always a good idea to size up the duration of the relationship. 

#5. Lay Down The Deal-Breakers 

Everything your partner does or wants to do may not be okay with you, and that’s why relationships are hard because they involve compromises. Most of us can compromise on things which give us a lesser ounce of satisfaction than spending time with our partner but some things we just can’t give up and at times our partner also just can’t like them for us no matter how hard they try. While growing up, we do pick up on things that we don’t like, and this thing does not change throughout our life so we will be irked by it whenever we come face to face with it. Confiding in your partner will help both of you to settle on something like he can do it only when you are doing something he does not like too much. It’s okay to hate some things about your partner and still love them; you just need to find something to do in that time, so both of you never fight. No matter who starts the other should be able to take this thing or any other thing that keeps irritation at bay.

 

#6. Define The Value Of Things  

Whenever we are close to making ends meet, the ends change. This happens with a lot of people because once they start living as an adult, they constantly think about being under the challenge of proving the old truth of life that nothing lasts the wrong year after year and believe that greed is the only way of extending their time here on earth. This often makes them take on more than they can handle and they don’t give themselves the time it takes to arrive at that level eventually. All adults more or less have had an existential meltdown at some point or the other which either modified their behavior or made them behave in the same way but not with the same heart. If anyone accepts this even subconsciously the chances are that it can drive how you react to situations making little things which have to be easy all along difficult and more consuming. What you need to do as a couple is making a list of things that give you value so that you know what matters more than others.  

#7. Address Sexuality  

A lot of partners taunt the other for looking at someone of the opposite sex and even debase them making claims that they don’t fascinate them their partner anymore. When sexuality is not addressed in a relationship, it often means that fidelity is misaddressed. A lot of people think that fidelity is sexuality when that is not the case, fidelity is being loyal to your partner and not cheat on them whereas sexuality is telling them that attraction is one of the reasons your relationship exists in the first place. All of us are sexual beings, and sometimes we are attracted to a certain someone that we like more than others still even committed people cannot stop themselves from feeling attracted to others. The choice for them, however, is not to act on those impulses and honor your fidelity as long as you define this about attraction silly fights won’t happen.

 

#8. Understand It’s All Possible Just Not At The Same Time 

Satisfaction is the death of desire; this is really the truth about all human beings. No matter how badly we burn for success, the minute we achieve something within us feels filled. It is important that you heed this lesson of success and enjoy it only for that moment so that you are on to your next goal fairly quickly. Show your partner by implementing this in your daily life and tell them that you want them to have this kind of drive all through your relationship which will be enough promise for the future to build a good one for the both of you really. You will never bite off more than you can chew if you are realistic about the resources both yours and your partners and the abilities which together are going to define what kind of a lifestyle you will have. 

Share with us how you talk to your partner about the future of your relationship. Drop your comment in the comment section below.

(Image Courtesy: 1. Fatherhood channel, 2. Dr. Sarah Schweitz, 3. Patheos Sixseeds, 4. Victoria Buzz; Huffington Post(Featured Image Courtesy)
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Answer

The future of any relationship rests on plans; plans can be proactive or can be made as

you go along in the relationship but the partners need to speak at least about the

pattern which stops them from assuming all has gone worse. I told my partner that we

will get married once we complete a few years in our respective fields and have some

financial cushion before we start a family and we will plan it depending on our income

and lifestyle she agreed and said yes this is the right call and that was it. We did not

speak more about it until she came to me with the problem how will we manage a nanny

for the kid? What if one of us doesn’t get a promotion? What if one of us is injured

seriously? What if our parents don’t agree? What if that and what if this? I told her to

stop being irrational and repeated what I told her earlier that the big things – money,

accommodation and savings we have already taken care of them to an extent and the

rest of our adult lives are going to go in the pursuit of the same thing. I addressed other

important issues like fidelity and sex life telling her to reflect on our past in which

whenever this was talked about we usually made up and confirmed it is all good and our

work or family is not sabotaging our relationship and when you do share a lot of these

moments with your partner over the years they do get the picture that nothing can

disrupt your relationship. Make a plan of taking one yearly vacation and mark important

milestones in your relationship, it is excellent if you have been doing them right from the

start but if you have not been doing them then you can start now and provide the

relationship overall warmth and a lot of stability, things that benefit the communication

which takes place.  

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