No matter how much you admire your partner, you need to admit the fact that there are times you would want to spend some time all by yourself. You need no one else in that me-time, and as an individual, you need to grow personally. Therefore, needing some space in a relationship is okay to ask. But dealing with the need for some space is definitely difficult.
So, how should one stop assuming space as a victimizing aspect and understand the importance of personal space in a relationship? And exactly what does space in a relationship mean? Let's find out!
Space is such a weird and complicated term when it comes to having it in relationships. But it basically indicates towards the time you need to correctly figure out what you really want from your life, from yourself and the relationship. This space helps you establish your independent identity in the relationship and also not blur the lines of relationship rules. It is the time that one must utilize to their advantage. Either one or both of them can mutually arrive at the decision to get their ways apart for a set time frame and rediscover themselves.
On one side, asking for some space can mean that the person might just be suffocated being in the relationship. But on the other hand, they might just want some time out of living life on their own terms. For instance, if your boyfriend needs some space in the relationship, you need to be vocal about why does he feel so. You do not have to get volatile about his decision or force him to stay. His choice does not mean that he is breaking up with you. It just means that you two are too busy being stuck with each other and just the good without some bad cannot let the relationship survive. And what you would term as bad, might just come out to be the best thing you could ever do for your relationship.
To ask for some space in your relationship is to enforce certain boundaries that should be respected and appreciated by both the partners. Giving space in a relationship indicates towards giving your partner the required alone time. If they have actually asked you to do so, they have taken up a confident step. In case you do not understand their motive behind the same, the simplest thing you can do is to ask them calmly.
Every person has their own way of comprehending their thoughts and feelings. This means the partner needs some space and time for analyzing their life or carrying out activities without distracting their comfortable bubble. Therefore, you should let your significant other to breathe the freshest air and not make things difficult to handle.
#1. Giving space in a relationship, lets you feel all the panicky kind of feelings and not act or react to them.
#2. You get the time that is mandatory for you to concentrate just on your personality.
#3. You get prepared for taking up challenges that may or may not arise in your relationship.
#4. It can be the kiss of death to your relationship if you keep sticking together all the time without having or pursuing any external desires or activities.
#5. It develops a sense of trust and understanding between the two partners in the relationship.
#6. Too much of goodness in any relationship turns out to be really toxic sooner or later.
#7. You were a "someone" before meeting the significant other. No matter how much you love them, you don't really need to lose that identity but honor yourself and accept the temporary separation as a healthy practice.
#8. Space isn't always about getting separated from each other physically. It also implies to taking up challenges and following other pursuits independently. Do not doubt or restrict your partner's way in the relationship. It weakens your bond and does not cultivate the thoughts of having a life beyond the relationship.
#9. It allows both of you to understand and manage emotions better. You are not fearful of the consequences, but you open towards discussing just anything comfortably.
#10. It helps you to remain in the right mindset and learn the art of communication.
#11. The space that one asks for helps keep boredom at bay.
#12. In case your partner is fearful of the relationship, they may be avoiding investing any time in the same and get hurt at a later stage. So, this practice removes the feelings of fear.
#13. If he/ she wants to pursue any of their personally preferred activities, this gives an impression that the person is not really giving up something just in the name of the relationship.
#14. When you are strictly following a routine just for your own self, there comes the feeling of autonomy, relaxation as well as self-determination.
#15. Each one of you is different. So, it is pretty okay not to have similar tastes and preferences. You do not have to apply any actions forcefully but commit to reconciling the interests. Not always would your partner would mean to break up and opt for the way to make the meetings more awkward and subsequently less frequent.
How To Ask For Space In A Relationship?
#1. You need to pinpoint why you exactly feel the need for that space in the relationship. Analyze the situation and form stern answers about your decisions.
#2. Appropriately plan out a place and time to meet and talk your heart out.
#3. Manage the conversation subtly. Stick to the topic and do not distract by circling unrelated stuff.
#4. Also, decide the amount of contact you will be maintaining with each other.
#5. It is important for both of you to set a strict time frame. It helps in fulfilling expectations regarding the separation gap to last - Infinity or just according to your mood isn't the solution.
#6. Believe in simplification and give a chance to your partner for knowing how he/ she feels.
#7. Ensure that you aren't keeping any secrets with each other. It strengthens the bond even more.
#8. Make sure to handle the other person's reaction, not in an upsetting way.
#9. Try using such phrases: I need some space to recharge, or I need the evening all by myself.
#10. It isn't all about you; it is about the two of you. Just let your partner do their stuff, and you do yours. But, also make sure to keep a check on each other's well-being and not independence.
Love is a pretty strange yet wild emotion. It can get you close; it can even make you fall apart. But one thing is clear, all the efforts undertaken to make our love survive are totally worth it. Therefore, to maintain a healthy balance of togetherness, this is how you can give space in the relationship, without drifting apart:
#1. Don't Forget; It Is A Positive Thing
It is essentially important for you to give your girlfriend or boyfriend the space they require. Do not assume it as a negative point in the relationship. The time not spent with your partner will let you breathe free and not take a toll on your independence. So, it might feel awkward in the beginning; however, it works well in the later stage.
It is always better to have some individual activities and interests to keep that spark enlivened. Try and establish a realistic view of your relationship. Work on it and make some room for separateness to make the most of your differences.
#2. You Don't Have To Take It Personally
When your partner is actually saying something, you ought to listen to it. The listening part should be careful and not judgmental. It does not relate to hurting your sentiments. It is just a step by them towards the betterment of this relationship. And so you too should be supportive of their decision.
The two of you genuinely need some alone time. And if any of you is brave enough to ask, the other should act in thoughtfully. Maintain solid individual identities and not individual judgments about each other.
#3. Have A Mutual Timeframe
Be very upfront about how much time the two of you need to stay apart. There needs to be a mutually agreed timeframe. How much time one needs to spend is important to think about. The relationship has more chances of drifting apart when none of you know when to return. There should be sufficient time for your partner to recharge but not enough to ruin the relationship. Think if you need a day, a week or a month.
#4. Respect The Rules Of Relationship
You need to respect the rules of your relationship. Each connection has some or the other boundaries to maintain, so be considerate about those. If your partner does not want to text, don't do that. If they don't feel like being together all the time, you don’t have to do that too.
Share your feelings with each other, so you understand their perspective, concept, and need for space. When you are not paying attention to the rules, you are actually not giving them space in the relationship to feel comfortable and loved.
#5. Be Encouraging
It is not mandatory for you to show a brave face on the outside and feel depressed on the inside. Giving space in a relationship is an encouraging practice to take up. There is nothing wrong with it. In our opinion, if your partner needs some space for taking up activities that they like or for socializing without you, there is absolutely no harm.
Show some confidence in them and let them know that they aren't on the wrong track. In fact, also encourage them to do so more often, because you may not want to appear like a wicked partner who does not care about their feelings and identity.
#6. Sound Happy Upon Reuniting
Treat your relationship with utmost respect and kindness. The importance of personal space in a relationship would essentially be understood when you actually give each other the opportunity of dwelling on personal commitments. The sense of anger and/ resentment gets lowered when you reunite after the break. But make sure you do not sully the happiness. Let the union be positive and make it high quality after that.
#7. Figure Out the Actual Meaning Of This Practice
Couples who care and love each other also pay attention to each other’s needs and wants in a relationship. You do not push each other, you are supportive of their individual decisions, and you also are able to figure out what exactly your relationship requires to keep up with the warmth and spice. You need to reckon the fact that there also is a life which is outside your relationship bubble. You have best friends, you have a family, and you might even have certain dreams to be fulfilled.
Once you agree to the fact that the two of you can mutually stay apart for a certain period, there also remains a possibility for any of the partners to over engage in their individual activities. But can there really be a thing like too much space in the relationship? Of course! When you do not maintain the strings of connection, you give rise to a love that starts falling apart.
Either one or both of you can lack the emotional and physical intimacy or take the space for granted. You don't cherish each other's indirect existence. But you need to be aware of such doings that can destroy the relationship. For instance, when you two mutually decide to stay away from each other for some time, you don't really have to forget the important days and dates, stop visiting each other's place or just ignore your partner's sudden plea to spend some time together.
By understanding the entire idea, you can effectively let your partner maintain her/ her identity, do the same for yours and nurture the relationship when the void gets filled again. By learning how and when to give space to your partner, you also intensify the excitement levels and become substantial individuals focusing on developing the relationship positively.
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