Letting someone know that you do not want to be with them has always been and will always be one of the most difficult situations in one's life. You don't have to be manipulative but still be direct in your approach. You cannot afford to be brutal and expect the relationship to end smoothly.
There are both good and bad ways in which you can approach someone and tell them about your need to break up. And also keep in mind the things that can worsen the situation. You must have heard and seen over the internet how to gracefully break up with someone. But we offer you with something distinct. Here is how not to break up with someone and avoid all kinds of awkward along with difficult circumstances.
#1. No Text/ Email
Email can still be considered as somewhat a formal and acceptable form of communication. But texting is pretty lame in my opinion, especially when it comes to choosing this method as a way of breaking up with your partner. I don't find it simple and sweet at all, even though you have gone just for a few dates together! Text and email breakups are kind of the usual form of drifting away from relationship in today’s time. But now that you have decided to ruin someone's day, why do it over a text or an email and confuse the circumstances.
Why do people find communicating over a call or face to face so difficult and deem it as unimportant? At least these methods do not cast a nasty shadow that says your partner was never ever important enough. Email and text messages are quite cowardly moves. It tells how you are not being honest and open about your decision. If you think it hurts you less, consider thinking it from your partner's point of you. Would they be super happy seeing just a text that says it isn't working out and that you are breaking up? I mean, seriously?
So, in case you are the one who receives such a mail or text, do not respond! First of all, you are frustrated with the situation, and secondly, it will just give rise to a one on one conversation that might take the shape of textual conflict. So, avoid falling into the cobweb of guilt and shame.
#2. Do Not Disappear
This is just not the right way to break up with someone. But, people who are in confused relationships tend to vanish without any notice and leave the other person assuming as to something wrong has happened. Such people do not respond to calls, messages, and emails. Your partner only is left wondering if you are safe or dead! And your partner will also never get to know if you will ever reappear in their lives or not along with this relationship.
However, you should give a proper closure to the relationship, what may ever be the reason. Do not let the other person remain to wonder as to what has happened. Give them a solid reason. Do not blame. And simply let them know that you actually see no future of togetherness.
#3. Do Not Use Honesty As A Weapon
It is human nature that when we actually find no reasons to break up with someone, we tend to bring in honesty and close the case. We announce our decision based on the flaws and shortcomings our partner has. We prepare a list of things that turn us off and criticize their contribution in the relationship. We even hurt the other person to such an extent that this particular relationship is said to be a mistake that can never be erased from history. This way, we make our partner feel uncomfortable and undesirable right before moving on!
But, that is exactly what we shouldn't be doing. If you cannot find any reasons to break up with your partner, why would you want to take such a crucial step in the first place? If you feel something is wrong and you are not able to let that out in the right way, it wouldn't mean you get entitled to criticize your partner just for the sake of blowing things away. No, that is not how relationships work. You need to mention how your time together was meaningfully spent. Mention that you are disappointed to not see a long-term relationship prospects. Act with integrity and move away with mutually decisons that are in the positive spirit for both the partners.
#4. Do Not Break Up In A Public Setting
For a few people, they believe that breaking up in public settings can help them face the consequences along with their partner being less likely to create a scene. But least do they understand is such a circumstance can just turn out to be the other way round. Just in case they lose their self-control, you will have to bear the humiliation and their demand for justifications in front of the public.
Therefore, despite your breaking up in such a manner, be calm and get things shifted to your private space. Without any fuss, explain your reason to walk away from the relationship. Expect an emotional (or something more than that) reaction as a result of what you say. Do not forget to apologize for the pain you are causing to your partner. Say goodbye and simply leave. But, also be prepared if they come up with a list of questions.
#5. Do Not Give Them False Hopes Of Returning Back
When you have decided not to be with someone, do not give them any false hopes of returning back to the relationship. Do not get manipulative with your words. I understand that you just want to soften the consequences with a lie. But it does not have to be that way. You tell a lie to reunite your long-lost relationship once things settle, but you never contact them again because you actually had no desire to stay in that relationship.
Instead, share with them your true feelings. You do not have to lie just to calmly walk off. No matter how bad a fight it may turn into (not talking about abuse/ assault), explain the need to let go this relationship. This will also be best if any of you may in future want to get into a new beginning. Isn't it? You just don't have to carry the emotional baggage.
#6. Do Not Stay In Touch And Don't Stop By For A Steaming Bedroom Session
That's an even more pitiful situation. One day or the other, either of you can again get hit with emotions to initiate a fresh start for the relationship. You broke up in your own way, but the two of you keep in touch with each other even after that. And on top of it, you even kept spending time for maintaining that sexual intimacy. I personally feel it's just not what you should be doing if you have to actually end the relationship. Such a method will always keep you two hooked with each other. It can also never allow you to completely move ahead in life.
So, rather than catching up for those quick steaming sessions, completely end the relationship for once and for all. Give yourself the time to find a new partner, focus on your priorities along with life goals and objective and break that link which kept you from going away.
#7. Do Not Move On Before Ending The Relationship
Breaking up means ending all the links that you have with your significant other before foraying into reality. Because every new start has to begin in a unique and fresh manner. But, at times, when we feel the need to break up with someone, we usually just move on before ending the current relationship. We also do not try to mend the problems that can eradicate the roadblocks. People do not actually feel the need to resolve the issues or feel the scope for having any improvement.
So, they do the best thing possible for them - move on before ending the current relationship. How unethical it is! You do not feel the need to tell your current partner that you are not able to manage this relationship and hence you have decided to move on. You do not have the guts to admit the fact nor ask for forgiveness. You just assume that he/ she will themselves find out the truth and that you are not liable to speak up as they are the ones who ruined the situations. Imagine how they will be able to deal with the pain of betrayal when all they did was trust and love you to the core.
I always advise people that even if you want to move on, at least let your partner know what is on your mind. Let them know that their present is going to convert into past. And let them know that you respect them, but affection has lost its place!
Liked what you just read? Want to read more such informational and interesting stuff? or would you like to share any of your personal experiences/ opinions? Let us know through the comment section below. We would love to hear from you!
10 Opinions
