Sexual Fantasies: Are they Good or Bad for your Relationship?

5,837 Views Updated: 03 Feb 2021
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Sexual Fantasies: Are they Good or Bad for your Relationship?

We all have various fantasies regarding various things in life. We all tend to daydream about almost all aspects of life and hope for various things to take place in our life. The fantasies and the wishes for various things to take place in a certain way are things that are true for all individuals and for all aspects of life. We tend to daydream about our perfect career, our perfect family, our dream home and then there are the sexual desires that remain common to all of us.

We all tend to have these sexual desires that we all daydream about. Each person has a unique set of sexual fantasy depending on the kind of sexual preferences they have. It is believed that men tend to have fantasies that remain more explicit in nature, whereas women tend to have sexual fantasies that are kind of more romantic in nature. But, these are just some of the generalized assumptions we have based on some of the available information. There can be many possibilities when it comes to the kind of sexual fantasies that both men and women can have. Women can have explicit fantasies and men can also have very romantic fantasies. There is absolutely no way we can generalize things here.

When we are talking about sexual fantasies, the most important thing related to them are the debates and discussions regarding how good or bad they are for any relationship. There is always the question of how the sexual fantasies will affect your relationship and is it a good idea to want to play out your fantasies in your relationship? There always remains a concern regarding how your sexual fantasies will impact the kind of equation you are able to create with your romantic partner. There are two things that we will need to take into consideration when we are discussing the impact of sexual fantasies on any relationship.

Firstly, there is nothing wrong about having sexual fantasies; this is nothing that we need to look down upon or something that should cause worry. Having a sexual fantasy is normally experienced by most people and is acceptable as any other fantasy or dream we all tend to have. What your sexual fantasy is and how it is going to impact your relationship and the lives of your partner and you will be determined by the kind of discussions the two of you are able to have regarding your respective fantasies, and how openly the two of you are able to discuss each other’s point of view.

That brings us to the second point to be kept in mind. It is essential that there is clarity between the two partners. If you have certain fantasies that you wish to experience in reality and also just have a casual discussion about them. it is very essential that you let your partner know about the kind of sexual fantasies that you have and also make it a point to make the discussion as comfortable and as engaging as possible. The more you both make things clear it will be easier to make sure there are no aspects of this topic and your feelings related to them that remain unknown to your partner. This is why clearly communicating what both of you think about this subject is of utmost importance.

If you have been wondering about how to have a discussion regarding your sexual fantasies with your partner? And do not have the slightest idea regarding how you can handle this subject. Here are the good impact and the bad impact that having sexual fantasies can have over your relationship.

Having Sexual Fantasies Can Prove To Be A Challenge Or A Negative Thing

The biggest challenge that having sexual fantasies can prove to be, is the fact that you may come across as a very different individual to your partner during the time the two of you are actually trying to play them out in reality. What this means is the fact that you may be more aggressive or dominating or you may prove to be more submissive, which may not be true when you are not playing the fantasy. In this case, you may find it impossible to explain why you were a certain way when you were with your partner at the time of making love. When you make an effort to play out your sexual fantasies, you will have to assume a role and so will your partner and this will require your partner to understand and accept why you have certain fantasies. This stands true for you as well, you will have to make an effort to understand your partner’s fantasies and accept them the way they are.

Another thing that can prove to be a major challenge when it comes to having sexual fantasies is the fact that you will have to make sure your romantic partner is comfortable with the kind of fantasies that you are having and is actually willing to be a part of them. We all have different sexual fantasies and we all have different preferences when it comes to our likes and dislikes regarding what we are comfortable to try when we are making love. This is why it is very essential that you make sure you are very open and clear to your partner about the kind of fantasies you have. If you surprise them without them having knowledge of the kind of thing that is coming their way, there is a possibility they may not take it positively.

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What is essential is a small amount of understanding of each other’s sexual fantasies and the willingness to do whatever both of you are comfortable doing. It is not only the fact that having sexual fantasies can prove to be a negative thing when you do not take the comfort of your partner into account, it can also prove to be very negative when you compel them to play out your fantasies.

Sexual fantasies are not negative in general but the moment it is imposed on someone and the moment someone has to be a part of something that is against their wish, it is possible that sexual fantasies can prove to be a negative thing. The whole idea is to have a clear discussion about it without withholding from your partner. It is the ability to keep in mind each other’s comfort that matters. The negative aspect of having and wanting to play out sexual fantasies is only that part when you wish to make it a part of your relationship and play it out. You will have to make sure that it is not proving to be the source of discomfort and disinterest for your partner.

The Positive Aspects Of Having Sexual Fantasies

The best aspect of having sexual fantasies is the fact that they will help you to bring back the spark in your relationship in case things have become monotonous. When we are in a relationship for a long period of time it becomes impossible to keep that spark alive at all times. Over the years things become monotonous and there is very less excitement that is left in the relationship. What is crucial to keep in mind is the fact that over time making love also becomes pretty boring at times. With time, there is always a possibility that there is going to be other aspects of life and all the huge responsibilities that are going to take a toll on all the fun and exciting things that the two of you did as a couple.

This is where having sexual fantasies and making them a part of your relationship can make it possible for you to introduce the much-needed spark and excitement in your relationship. When the two of you willingly play out a sexual fantasy, your both will be able to do something that you will enjoy and something that is beyond the regular mundane things you both have to do.

Another important thing that a sexual fantasy can do for your relationship is the fact that it will give you the much-needed escape from the reality at the time when you are not making love or because of various reasons not being able to do so. It is very positive for a relationship because there are so many instances when one of the two partners are not willing to make love at that point of time and the other person is very much in the mood to make love. In such cases, fantasizing can prove to be a very positive solution. Your fantasies remain all in your mind and there is no need to compel your partner to play along. No one gets hurt and everyone is happy.

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Sexual fantasies can also prove to be a great platform for being that occasion when you get to know each other inside out. The moment the two of you are able to share your sexual fantasies with each other you will be able to create that bonding in the relationship which will take it to the other level. Please understand the fact that there needs to be a huge amount of comfort between the two individuals in order to be able to share your sexual fantasies with each other. The moment you choose to share your sexual fantasies with your partner, you are actually beginning to get comfortable with this individual to such an extent that you are with no one else. Sexual fantasies are extremely personal for most people; some find it impossible to share them even with their romantic partners. When you are being able to discuss this topic width your partner, you are actually making sure you are able to create that bonding where there is no such thing that creates a discomfort between the two of you.

The moment you are able to actually play out these fantasies you can be sure of the fact that the two of you are bonding at a very deep level and there is a possibility of both of you being able to make the relationship a very serious affair. This is the reason why having and playing out sexual fantasies will make it possible for you to reignite the excitement in your existing relationship and will also make it possible for you to take your romantic relationship to another level in case you are looking at making it serious.

Are you trying to figure out the kind of impact your sexual fantasies can have over your romantic relationship? Are you unsure how to make sure your sexual fantasies do not negatively impact your relationship and how to actually make it a positive aspect of your relationship? Do you think this article is helpful enough to clarify your doubts? Please comment in the box below.

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Answers (2)

We all have various kinds of sexual fantasies. What I have realized is the idea that there is
really nothing to judge about it, each and every individual has some sort of sexual
fantasies and then there are variations to it depending on the kind of people we are.
Irrespective of how easy we find it to accept these facts or how difficult it is for us to own
up to such things, they do exist and they are a part of our existence. What is very
important to understand is the fact that, we do not really need to worry about the
existence of it, we need to make sure that it is not affecting our relationship with our
partner negatively. 
It is essential for us to make sure that we inform our partner about our fantasies and make
sure that it does not come as a surprise to them that we tend to have these sort of
fantasies. Their fantasies can be quiet different from the ones that we have. Often it can
be very surprising to find out that a person we love has a side to them that we were not
aware of . This is the treason it is essential to make sure that we do not keep these things
a secret. Especially in those relationships that are very serious and a for couples who have
been together. 
There is also another aspect to this which is essential to keep in mind. These fantasies are
such that we may not wish to share it with anyone. It may make us feel uncomfortable
and may not be the right thing to do if we are not doing it willingly. What is essential to
understand is the fact that we need to make it sure it is not harming anyone or our
relationship. If it is not something that you wish to play it out with your partner, and you
are sure that it is not going to adversely affect someone else. Then there is  no problem in
keeping it a secret.
We tend to seek refuge in our dreams and wish to do be or have things that we do not
usually do in the real life settings, this is the reason we tend to have so many fantasies
that wild and are not things that can be done in real life. In case your sexual fantasies are
such and you do not wish to make them a reality, there should be no problem in keeping
them a secret. 

Sexual fantasies are necessary to keep your relationship going. Many people cheat on their partner because their sexual needs aren't met anymore. I share my sexual fantasies with my girlfriend and sometimes read erotic stories on sites like to get some fresh ideas.

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