This is the new trend in the book of relationships. Love bombing means when your partner pours you immense love and affection. It will be much more than you ever expected and could ever handle. They will give you a lot of attention for an initial few weeks so as to lure you into their vicious love trap. You will feel that you have met a perfect match for yourself, only until you wait for the drama to unveil.
But too soon, they will show their true colors and pull you away from their benign affection. You will be blind-sided by this sudden change in their behavior. The signs are all there for you to notice what this manipulative person is going to be but all their romantic gestures fooled you in the beginning. That is Love Bombing for you! Love Bombers have a special way with romanticising and praising with all the love that you are getting that you do not expect to be treated badly by the same person. And then, that happens. All your excitement gets deflated like a balloon. You regret having high expectations. So we will give you some signs you should look out for to recognize a Love Bomber.
In a healthy relationship, things go slow and steady. That is the way how it is supposed to work. But in love bombing, you will experience something opposite to that. Your partner will make you feel the most special you have ever felt. Suddenly you will become the most important person on this blue planet. They will say things which you hardly hear in the early stages of a normal relationship. They will take you to the moon and treat you like the treasured gem. Flatter you with dreamy dates and raise a toast to "Being SOUL MATES" within a few days of meeting you. But you should not mistake this for real because soon this love will fizzle out and you will be left all by yourself to repent at your decisions.
Giving genuine compliments to someone is part of a healthy relationship. Telling someone that how the colour suits them once in a while happens to everyone when they are dating. But if you are dating the much-dreaded love bomber, you will be getting plenty of compliments. The most common phrase you will be hearing is "You are the most beautiful person I have ever seen!". You will suddenly be the best of everything that you are. But these compliments are mostly about your outer appearance because they don't even know you as a person. They will never mention things like personality, morals, and ethics.
You will feel that you have found the love of your life who wants to take you to an island and get married. You should realize it is very soon to get married when you do not even know each other that well. You have only been dating for a few weeks, and your partner is already planning to propose you with that Big Rock on your finger! It's time to beware of the lions in captivity, someone is in danger.
Sooner than you realize, your dream bubble pops. Your partner who was promising whimsical ideas is acting all strange one day. They will show who they truly are and you definitely will not like that. They will leave you alone after their round of shouting and blaming. You will consider the past few days a mere virtual dream.
There is a possibility of people having bad days and losing their temper on their partner. That is what you think at first too when your love bomber starts acting out. And they do come back to excess affection again after a few days of unreasonable anger. But before you know it, they come back to their bad mood again. The cycle keeps going. A lot of couples go through this for a long time before they realize how unhealthy the relationship is for them.
#1. Put A Limit
It is very flattering to get romantic messages from your lover when you are in the boring confines of your office. It feels so good when you get that cute goodnight text before going to bed. The facade melts down when you are not able to concentrate on work in the office because your phone keeps pinging with messages and when you check, you have a 100 unread texts. It becomes unbearable at times. So you need to step up and let them know that you need concentration while you are working in the office. Put a limit to messages and give particular timings when they cannot disturb you with calls and texts.
#2. Tell Your Flaws
We all love being complimented but if you are praised for everything you do, it loses the essence of it. You stop feeling good about it. The blush on reading their lovey-dovey texts has disappeared now. When dating a love bomber, they make you feel like a perfect, flawless human by giving you compliments all the time. However, you know your flaws and at times accepting false praise is something you should not do. So, let your partner know that how human you are. Correct them when they give a compliment for something that is not true. Make sure that you know each other as a person.
#3. No Unnecessary Gifting
Your love bomber will pile your room with all sorts of romantic gifts before you even complete a month in a relationship. I know it feels good to get presents, but it loses meaning for birthdays and other special dates. Tell your partner if you are uncomfortable in taking so many gifts. Ask them to limit the gifts to occasions. In a way, it will make the relationship more normal.
#4. Plan Meetings
It is very common in love bombing for your partner to come and visit you. Once in a while visit feels good but frequent visits will disturb your personal space. If you think your lover is showing up too much at your home or workplace, you can share your discomfort with them about this. You can let them know that you should plan before a meeting. Ask them politely to not come unannounced as you need your space too. Tell them to discuss before they plan meet. Plan dates when you both are free so that you can spend some quality time getting to know each other.
#5. Respect Space
Your admirer will be head over heels trying to spend as much time with you as possible. You will be able to handle it at first because you like spending time with them too. Slowly you will feel the need to have some space as well because you have other things to do too. Spending too much time with someone can make you feel suffocated. Ask them to give you some space and tell them that you need time to know them.
If you relate to the aforementioned things that we just told you, you know how to make things easier for yourself now. If you have not gone through this experience already, then you need not stress about it unnecessarily. You should not worry about finding such people in your life too. Even if you do come across someone who is a love bomber, you know how to cope up with them now. Being on guard all the time to not get hurt or love bombed will take away the essence of dating. Just know that experiences; good or bad teach you a lesson for a lifetime to cherish. Be open to risks and keep falling free. Laugh at the confusions and let your heart out to fall in love again.
(Image Courtesy: 1. Elle UK, 2. Live About, 3. College Bombing, 4.The Daily Dot; The Sun(Featured Image)