Falling in love can be life-changing. Either it will make your life, or it will break you. When you love someone, your life starts revolving around that one person. Everything you do and everything you feel is related to them, but all relationships do not give the same amount of happiness as you expect. Some turn out to take something from you than to give. Relationships can make you the happiest person alive or sometimes you may feel dead. Why would anyone feel dead in a relationship? A person would feel so when s/he falls for the wrong person.
You had a relationship at a young age and you did not know how to handle it. You start feeling dreadful when you do everything to make the person happy, but the other person would not even appreciate your effort. You feel like that the person is not sharing any of their feelings with you and is probably hiding something. The person does not remember things that are important to you or is not aware of what is happening in your life. The person imposes self on you, dominates you. Do you have to seek their permission for anything you do or anywhere you go? This is when the alarm should kick off and you should know that you are in love with the wrong person. Your partner does not care about how you feel so that sorts out how s/he feels about you leaving you in the middle of the desert where you do not know what to do. You love the person a lot so leaving the person will not be the first choice in your mind then what should you do when you fall for the wrong person?
#1. Know What’s Wrong
Landing to conclusions on your own may not be fair to the person you are in love with so it is better to talk to them. Invite your partner on a date and talk to them. Find the right time to talk when s/he is in a good mood and when s/he is free. Do not start bragging about how you think things are not working out. It may be possible that the person is not aware that you feel left alone. It may be that your partner’s expression of love is different from you and that is why you are not feeling loved. Other reasons could be that your partner is going through some issues in their personal life that s/he is not comfortable sharing with you because the person does not know how you may react and because of the emotional stress that person maybe troubling you unintentionally. Talk things out and know what is keeping them from showing their love to you.
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#2. Assess The Reasons
When you both have met and discussed what the probable reasons are for the distance, then you start assessing them. Ask yourself and your partner as to why those problems have emerged in your relationship with them. Is it that you have not been able to give time to your partner? Has your partner not been available for you? Why? Has your partner lost interest? If yes, then why? Is there someone else in their life? Think about the reasons why your relationship has turned sour.
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#3. Find Solutions
Once you have assessed the reasons, then it is time to explore the solutions. If time is the issue, then you both will have to take some time out from your busy schedules. Both of you will have to adapt to each other’s schedules to make ends meet. If you both are losing interest or the initial spark, then discover how you can indulge in interesting activities with them.
When any of the solutions do not work and if you find that some other things are annoying you then follow these suggestions.
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#4. Leave For Good
If you are into a toxic relationship, then you should bid goodbye to your partner because if you do not, you will be trapped there forever. It’s now or never! You will have to gather all your courage to take a final decision. Do you want to stay and keep hurting yourself? Or do you want to begin a new life? It all depends on you. The more you will think about how much it will pain, the more it will become difficult for you to let go.
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#5. Do Not Over-think
It is not your fault that you fell for the wrong person, but it will be your fault if you choose to stay with the person. A person who could not make you happy does not deserve you so do not blame yourself. You are worthy of a more loving and caring partner who believes in maintaining space and independence in a relationship. There is not only one love. A person can fall in love the second time. Don’t you think? You did your part in loving your partner, but if your partner could not love you the same way, then you need to accept it.
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#6. Acceptance
When you come out of a toxic relationship, it could be devastating but you need to accept the fact that it is over and over for your good. You should move on after a breakup. Block any kind of contact with that person until you are ready to face the person again without having second thoughts about your breakup. Learn to accept that whatever happens in life it happens for your good. Learn to love yourself so that your self-esteem gets a boost.
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#7. A New Beginning
You should forget your past, and you should move ahead in life. Do not let anyone stop you from growing in life. If you do not move ahead than your life will be the same as it was when you were in a relationship with a wrong person – stagnant. It is often said that opportunities do not knock twice on your door, therefore, read the signs and do not let any opportunity run out of your hand. Try new things in life like learn to play some instrument or learn a new skill that will help you in your career.
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#8. Friends For Life
Connect with your best friend and family. Spend more time with them. Attend parties and festival ceremonies with your friends who will help you forget your past. They will make your present happening. You can also connect with self-help groups who help you recover from your emotional stress or trauma or take professional help. The more you talk with people, the more you will heal because keeping everything inside your heart can make you mentally ill. If you do not wish to share your experience with anybody, then you can start writing a diary. Write down your feelings in a diary which will help you in catharsis.
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#9. Have Faith
Do not lose hope from life. There are many other things that you still have in your life to achieve so do not lose hope. A lot of good things are coming your way. Just wait for them to approach you. After every dark night there comes a day, do not worry about your future. Pay attention to your present and fall in love with small things that inspire you. Read positive books, journals, meet people with inspirational stories.
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10 Opinions
Sometimes people recognize the reality of a relationship when things have gone far from control. Initially, a person does not catch the tiny details about a relationship which signs that something is wrong. The first few months of a relationship are the best ones where partners shower love for each other but gradually when you get to know each other you understand that your relationship is not a bed of flowers rather it is a bed of thorns. This is the time you start picking up fights on random stuff and then you start avoiding any kind of conversation that may lead to another fight. It is just the beginning because if you do not read the signs then you may find yourself in a pit that you cannot come out of.
You start hiding things from your partner because you fear that they would get aggressive. You believe that your partner is not an understanding person or is very opinionated to accept your voice in a decision you want to make.
You pick up fights faster than a racing car and the fights get ugly with time. You fight on trivial issues like forgetting to mark a date on the calendar. And such fights turn hostile with one of the people raising their hand.
You offend each other all the time and sometimes either of the ones verbally or physically abuses the other one. Your partner is actively aggressive and you become focal of their aggression.
Your family or your friends do not like your partner. Your family has been telling you to stay away from your partner because they feel that the person is not right for you. Our parents or friends always know if a person is right for you or not.
You are never happy after you have spent a day with them. You always feel exhausted after having spent a day with your partner. You do not enjoy being with them because of all the reasons mentioned above.
You think it will not last long. You have known it from the beginning that your relationship will not last long because your partner is not the desirable partner you always wished for.
You cannot imagine them in your future. Your relationship is just about them and not you. You always make them feel special. You feed their ego but your partner cares the least for you.
You prepare your mind before you plan to spend time with them. You have to make up your mind every time they call you to meet. You get stressed because you do not want more drama publicly.
Your partner’s family or friend does not know about you. You have told your partner to arrange a meeting with your family but your partner always avoids the conversation. Your partner does not want you meet their family or friends because maybe your partner does not see future with you.