Running into your ex is no less than a nightmare. Nothing can be worse than bumping into the person you cried for in your sweatpants. It is going to be awkward, undoubtedly. However, showing that it is awkward is probably not the best option. You will have to play calm and safe even if you are having a blast in your head.
There is no escape from that situation. The solution is only in facing your ex. Therefore, you will have to learn to remain cool as ice at that moment. Let us see what all you can do when you run into your ex.
#1. Always Have A Plan
After a breakup, one can easily imagine all the possible situations that can happen if you run into your ex. What will you say? How will you react? All these questions are very natural to come across in your mind. Don’t you think? Therefore, you should always have a plan beforehand, so that whenever that weird situation arises, you already know how you want it to go. Stick to the plan you prepared. You obviously don’t want your ex to catch you off guard. Ask yourself some questions to prepare yourself and to keep your dignity intact.
#2. Don’t Lose Control
It is not at all strange, most of the people tend to lose their control when they bump into their ex. However, if you prepare yourself for it, you won’t lose control. But if by any chance, you happen to bump into your ex suddenly, just make sure you control yourself and calm yourself down. You don’t have to change yourself. But make sure you are in control of your own self. Everyone’s ex is very strange and awkward, we understand that. Just don't let your inner emotions show up.
#3. Hiding Will Rarely Help
This is something that will help you a lot to not feel awkward. In order to cut the awkward feeling that may go from your side, you can avoid hiding by saying a hello yourself. The most awkward situation is when you bump into your ex, and you both are figuring out what to say and how to start a conversation. But by waving a hello from your side, you are genuinely killing the awkwardness. Moreover, that will show that you aren’t feeling uncomfortable at all.
#4. Keep It Short And Light
Of course, there will be a lot to that you want to say to your ex. However, when you are meeting after some time, you should keep it low and simple. Getting indulged into the issues of past will not make any difference now. You will end up ruining your present too. Moreover, you definitely do not want to oversell yourself by showing how you still feel for them. The safest option is to keep the conversation short and sweet because nobody wants the situations to turn into unbearably awkward.
#5. Avoid Those Old Big Bear Hugs
Alright, the most important thing you need to consider when you suddenly run into your ex is to avoid any kind of physical contact. Those old bear hugs or a peck on cheeks will be too much for them. You should instead keep it casual by shaking hands. It will not just keep it low, but also give them a clear indication that you are in no mood to make any contact back to them. Of course, you will have to acknowledge their presence, but any physical contact is not really needed.
#6. Admit The Fact That It Is Awkward
Running from the facts will not help you at all. Realize and accept the fact that it is awkward as hell and you can’t really do anything about it. In fact, lighten up the mood by saying something funny and normal so that it can dilute the moment of silence. Even if you say that in front of them that “I know it’s awkward” and then crack a joke, it will all be cool gradually. Making an initiation to have a conversation might take an edge off you, but it is better to keep it light-hearted than making it super awkward and messy.
#7. If Going To A Mutual Friend’s Party, Be Prepared
When you are going to a mutual friend’s party or marriage, be prepared to face them. There will be a lot of chances to bump into your ex if you are attending a mutual friend’s party. There can be certain situations where you are somewhere already aware of this fact that you might get a chance to see them. In those cases, it is better to prepare a plan and then work accordingly. Be detailed about the occasion and the way you are going to handle the situation. There is no use of taking the advantage of that situation when you were already aware that you were going to see them there.
#8. Avoid Bragging
There is always a tendency to start bragging about how lovely your life is going when you see your ex. You know that they aren’t aware of your life after you broke up. Therefore there is always this temptation to tell them how happy you are after they left, especially when you were not the person to decide the separation. There is so much to say post-split to your ex that it becomes harder to actually control yourself to not brag about your life. Being very honest and humble about your life will make an even bigger impact on them than bragging.
#9. Stay In Present And Avoid Drama
Bringing up the past will make the present worst and nothing else. Therefore, stop talking about the past even if they initiate to talk about it. It is useless to get involved in an emotionally charged conversation. You will slowly realize that you both have started the old blame game again. Focus on only the positive things that happen in your life rather than getting into the past stories.
#10. Know And Maintain Your Boundaries
Remember you were a part of their lives in the past, but not anymore. Do not get into the details of his or her life. It will make them realize that you are still involved in them. That is probably the last thing you will want. Digging too much into their life will give them wrong assumptions about your feeling towards them. Therefore, it is very important to know and then maintain those boundaries practically when you see them.
#11. Alcohol Isn’t The Best Idea
If you bump into your ex into a party or a bar, it is preferred to think more than three times before joining them for a drink. You may get tempted to hit those martinis to make the things less awkward. But getting drunk is much more than that. You don’t want them to realize that you still are comfortable in their company. If you got drunk and things take a turn the way you don’t want, it can surely turn the night into a disaster. Therefore, take our advice and stay away from tequilas.
#12. Call For Backup
Talking to your ex can be really awkward of course. Therefore, to have a backup in your hand and to play safe is the most significant thing to go for. Let your best friends know that you just ran into your ex and you need their help. Best friends are always there for you. Before you get into that awkward conversation, they will be there to handle things from there. Be calm and comfortable once they take over the stage.
#13. Remember To Be Respectful
It is alluring to make your ex jealous of how you are enjoying your life after them, indeed. But it is very important to understand the situation of your ex as well. You don’t know that they probably have their own emotional turmoil after seeing you. Run-ins are probably the most difficult things that can possibly happen to the exes. So, it is your responsibility to be respectful and try to understand their part.
#14. Take The High Road
Your actions speak louder than your words. If you have the attitude of “I don’t give a damn,” it will shout high for you that you don’t care about the past anymore. Any sort of rudeness, defensiveness, coldness or anger for that matter, won’t spread a better message than being poised and graceful will. You will feel like an Oscar-winning performance once you realize you got it. Take over the game by “killing them with kindness”.
#15. Know Where To End The Conversation Before It’s Too Late
Observe the situations well and know where the conversation is going weird. The advisable thing here would be to take a back step instead. Once you are done with that awkward situations, things might turn the wrong way by taking up the past. Before you lose your calm and get into the conversation completely, it is better to know the end of the conversation.
Things can go in any direction that you might have never imagined of. Therefore, being prepared is the safest way to know your ride. Share your thoughts as well in the comment section below.
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