If your partner is the one who creates troubles in the relationship, then that is one thing. If you are the one doing so, then it is time to bring about a change from your end. If it is something else, find out the real reason. But, if there is absolutely no reason to stay with him/ her, then terminate all the efforts and just close the case. Such is how relationship issues are dealt with. There either exists a black or there is a white. Please my dear readers, no grays at all. Love and relationships definitely take work. It is a phenomenon that just happens in our life. When you meet the right person, it is often pleasurable. But when things flip, it is more painful.
There is some or the other baggage that we carry from the past on to the present and our future as well. This is what makes us decide the level of closeness we might have or want to maintain with someone. But, what if the most joyful journey starts to become your scariest nightmare? And what to do before giving up on your relationship? Let us find out!
If you are willing enough to put in your 100%, you are going to somewhat save the relationship. But, what if you have decided to end the same? What if you have made this daring choice of letting go the affection that you two share? You even have created a plan on how you can have the most difficult and awkward conversation. But my friend, there are a few things you need to do before giving up on your relationship. And here are five of those!
#1. Talk, Talk, Talk!
Some change is going to happen. But, your goal is to continuously keep unfolding the best versions of you. However, to do so, you will have to talk, talk and keep talking till you do not clear out all your confusions and tensions. Ignorance in such matters is not blissful. You need to talk out and shoo away the challenges. Simply assuming that they might disappear because you do not want to see them is something pretty terrible.
When the two of you do not talk about your problems, the relationship either keeps lingering (until it explodes one day). Or you get so distant that coming back even to see each other is not an option. So, make sure to maintain utmost honesty with whatever you discuss amongst each other. Listen to both the sides of the story and do not play the blame game. Accept that your relationship is not like how it used to be and you need to find out the positives instead of negatives. You might feel disengaged and lost, but that is fine.
#2. Know If The Change Is Healthy Or Not
What to do before giving up on the relationship? Know if the decision is for good or for the worse? Most of the times, the change that takes place is mostly to the best of our future. When we begin with any of our relationships, we expect the other person to be our serve all, be all and end all partner. But, what we do not realize is the fact that such an approach is pretty unrealistic as well as unfair. However, change is the only constant, and that is exactly how we develop as an individual. So, before breaking up, know that it is going to give rise to a particular change or changes, and think of their impact on your life. Determine why you want to go for a breakup in the first place. Acceptance is bliss.
#3. Determine The Foundation Of Your Problem
Before breaking up, you need to make sure that you are aware of the root of the problem. Find out what has exactly been troubling you. Do not just see what you can, try to see what is hidden and what is unseen, the things you cannot see. You never know, in the process of fighting over the outer issues something really big has been unintentionally put on a stake. Such (circumstantial) situations may include having a child, not being in a mood for maintaining sexual intimacy, constant traveling, financial infidelity, troubles with the extended families, career transitions, and unequal distribution of the housework or any health-related problems. All these things introduce to your relationship a newer kind of struggle. These issues might not always be temporary and can go on for a lifetime.
But, the point is that you will have to acknowledge the things you are dealing with in the current period. Know about the environment of your relationship, about what kind of control you have over it - positive or negative along with the patterns you two show up for each other. The answer might take a while to end up in front of you, but chances are at least there. You will be able to determine the landscape in which your issues reside, and you will also be better equipped to know the things that need improvements.
#4. Do Not Ignore Your Gut Feeling
To be able to remain happy forever, it is very important for you to be honest about yourself and live out on what is the truth. In simple words, you know the relationship is complicated, commitments are not your cup of tea and intimacy is something really hard to handle along with being overwhelming. You know deep within if something would work for you or not. So, I suggest you trust your gut feeling that says, no, it is not the right time, and you need to quit for the betterment of future to come.
Your gut feeling never lies. Do not, just do not; give up on your relationship if your gut feeling indicates that some way or the other, things can be worked upon. But, on the other side, when you know it is time for you to leave and even the gut feeling does not indicate for you to stay behind, then be brave enough to make that choice. This is what I call an ethical life that is evolved as well as enthralling.
#5. Know What Got You Together In The First Place
What to do before giving up on your relationship? Recall why the two of your initially fell for each other. The spark might exist only to a certain extent, but it is not at all disappointing if some of it fades away. It is a very real phenomenon. I am sorry to burst your bubble, but the mundane of everyday life can easily smother the passionate flames of your love and romance. But no matter what happens, before breaking up, for the sake of this relationship, try to recall why the two of you fell for each other. Analyze what got you together.
You knew the other person was never a perfectionist, but there surely was something that drew you two into being one. But, also try and understand that the sparky attraction you felt, in the beginning, cannot always be a good sign. Yes, it can also be something opposite. And it is only with the help of this revelation that you will be allowed to take a right as well as a rational decision.
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