As we grow up and become mature, we tend to become a more composed person who is clear regarding many aspects of their life. When we are young, we are not focused on questions like what we really like, what kind of person we are and exactly what kind of people we like to be with. We tend to make friends without having a lot of expectations, and with any individual, we strike a chord with, in the very first meeting. As children, we do not have too many expectations from our relationships, and we do not really create friendships keeping any prior preferences in mind.
While we are growing up, we realize the various things that we as individuals are most comfortable with, the kind of people we are going to be able to develop a really good relationship with. All of these things become clear to us. We tend to be able to deal with various life experiences in a much more mature manner and also develop a different perspective on life. What changes the most is the fact that as we grow older, we realize the importance of being comfortable with ourselves and abandon the desire to please people around us! This is the reason we also tend to become very comfortable with having only a few people who are the ones with whom we are able to create a very deep and meaningful relationship with.
This leaves us with no doubt regarding the fact that we are not comfortable making friends as an adult because we are already so comfortable in our skin and with the people, we are most happy with. Keeping the things mentioned above in mind, it becomes easy for us to understand that it is a fact of life, as we grow up, we tend to find it hard to make friends. Among other things, as we grow up there are so many responsibilities that we have to take up, so many things that are added to the already existing responsibilities, there is hardly any time and energy left to make new concrete and meaningful friendships.
Have you been making an effort to make friends at your workspace? Have you been trying to make new friends in the new city you have shifted to? Have you been trying to make new friends in your life and as an adult you find it impossible to do it with ease? Do you find it hard to make new friends as an adult?
#1. We have more responsibilities as an adult, and thus, we tend to prefer the comfort zone which consists of the old friends and the people we are already comfortable around. Responsibilities can cause a lot of anxiety and lot of stress at various times in life. Making space for other things that are new and require us to make adjustments in life can feel like an extra burden during such times. This is one of the main reasons why making friends as an adult can seem like an extra burden and becomes much harder.
#2. We are more mature and grow into individuals who are clear about the kind of life and people we are looking at being with; this makes it even more difficult for us to strike a chord with all the individuals we meet on a regular basis in life and also become good friends with all kinds of people. This is also the reason we are not comfortable making the adjustments we will need to make for growing and intensifying a friendship.
#3. The needs for having a lot of companions and making new friends is something we experience when we are young and have a lot of time to hang out with our friends when life is all about exploring places and enjoying all the time we get to spend with our friends. When we grow up, we are sorted regarding the kind of people we wish to be with and are looking to spending more quality time with them. Life is no more about hanging out with buddies but involves a hell lot of other responsibilities. All the little time we have, we wish to use it to be with the few important people in our life.
#1. The first thing you will need to do is to keep an open mind. The problem that we face as an adult is due to the restricted mindset that we have regarding the kind of people we wish to be with and the lack of willingness to accept or understand those people who seem very different from the kind of people we are looking to be friends with.
When we begin to keep an open mind, we tend to be able to get along with people without making too much effort. As a result of this, it becomes easy for us to make friends easily. This is also the reason why, as children tend to be able to make friends more easily, we do not have any prior idea and notion of what our friend should be like, and we do not judge people, this makes it easy for us to get along with people without any effort.
#2. If you are aiming to make friends as an adult and this is something you are seriously considering, you will not refrain from making an effort to do things that will take you close to this goal. In such a case the best thing that you can do is to go to places or gatherings that will have the kind of people you are looking for. If you are clear about the kind of people you wish to hang out with, you will surely be able to chalk out the kind of place you will be able to find them.
It can be a library, a club, a new course you wish to take up or any other place you feel is the correct place to go to on a regular basis, you should consider going to such places. You will for sure be able to make a bunch of new friends. Keeping in mind the fact that the place has people of your choice, you will not have to make a huge effort to create the friendship. Having an open mind along with this will surely make it easy for you to find your new set of friends.
#3. If you make an effort to change your attitude, you will for sure be able to make new friends. Most often it gets difficult for us to make friends because we are having such a negative attitude that it becomes impossible for us to make space for the people who are willing to be our friends and to see the value they are adding to our life.
When we start to keep an attitude that is positive, we tend to have a life that is good for us, because we do not focus on the negative and begin to focus on the positive. Often when we are focused on what is negative, we cannot see the good in people, we cannot see what they are doing to us, and all the good they are adding to our experience. This is the reason it is important for us to keep a very positive attitude so that it will make it possible for us to make new friends.
#4. First, you will have to learn to accept and love yourself. When we seek new people or new friends in our life, we are looking at making some significant change in our life, or it is since we do not have anyone in our lives who we are able to strike a chord with. One of the main reasons for this is, we are not able to accept and understand our self. When we do not have this kind of understanding of our self, we tend to try to please the wrong set of people in all the wrong ways. This is the reason we are not able to create relationships that are meaningful and satisfying.
Irrespective of, at what age you wish to create a relationship, you will have to understand what kind of a person you are, what is your comfort zone and the kind of people you wish to be with. This is the only way you will be able to create meaningful friendships.
Do you think this article can help you to deal with all the challenges you are facing in making friends as an adult? Are you trying hard to make friends, but you feel like your age is proving to be a constraint? Do you think it is essential for you to make friends with the current setup you are in but, due to your age, you are not able to do so? Please let us know your opinion by commenting on the box below.
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In my opinion it is not tough to make friends as an adult.....
It depends upon the kind of person you are