Does Marriage Counselling Actually Work?

Does marriage counseling really work? One cannot answer the question with an absolute answer because for some, it does, and others are just unfortunate. It has been found out that only 8-10% of the couples that take up marriage counseling comes out as happy souls, the rest just end up in divorces.

So what do you do to fix your marriage or relationship? Are you supposed to just give up and let go of your partner? Or should you use the marriage counseling sessions to your maximum benefits? We suggest the latter option.

While couple counseling may not have shown very positive results, there are things you can do to make sure that your marriage counseling helps you fix your marriage instead of ending it.

Why Marriage Counseling Works?

Sometimes the problems in a marriage are too entrenched and venerable for a counseling to be effective. One or both the partners are already determined to end the marriage, and therefore they use the counseling sessions to announce their decision. Marriage counseling works in their cases because the therapist does not have to do much, the partners are already prepared.

The question of “why marriage counseling works” can be answered in varied ways. Each couple has their own reasons to separate or end their marriage and therapy sessions just try to help them solve their trivial issues.

However, there are certain conditions where marriage counseling is of no help. Some of these situations are:

#. Addiction or mental illness  

#. Verbal or physical abuse which causes fear to the other partner

#. Unwillingness of one or both partners to complete their homework assignments given by the therapist

#. Under qualified therapist, who lacks training and credentials

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How Does Marriage Counseling Work?

If the couple is motivated, then they can begin to explore their problems from a new perspective. They can learn new methods to discover and find solutions to their conflicts with the help of the tools provided by the therapist.

Partners can work on their communications that have definitely been affected. It is common for couples to have reached the bottleneck, and have therefore lost the ability to trust each other.

Marriage counseling can provide a neutral territory to help couples work through their issues or to put aside the baggage that prevents them from moving on.

Couples can even plan on rebuilding their marriage by making an improved commitment or can talk and clarify the reasons which might lead them to separate or end the marriage.

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Does Marriage Counseling Work?

The effectiveness of marriage counseling is very subjective as it varies with each couple. While some do receive the emotional or mental support that they were looking for, others cannot come out with any solutions.

Does Marriage Counseling Work? is a debatable question as no one has been able to come up with an answer. There have been some studies which suggested that relationship or couple counseling aren’t that effective, here are some ways in which it can help you.

If you are having troubles in your paradise, then you surely need to know the functioning of the marriage counseling sessions.

#1. High Rates Of Patient Satisfaction

According to studies, families, and couples who attend family or couple therapy sessions have come out with high levels of patient satisfaction. It is reported that over 98 percent of the patients reviewed the therapies to be good or excellent and over 97 percent of them even accepted of getting the help they needed. Respondents also reported improved physical health which resulted in better functioning at work. 

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#2. Marriage Counseling Is More Effective

If you are thinking “does marriage counseling work?” then we would say that the answer depends on whether or not your partner is even willing to take the therapy with you. If your partner refuses to go to therapy, you may not be able to change the dynamics of your relationship to a great extent by going there alone.

Statistics show that couple therapies are usually faster and are more effective than the individual therapy. When a couple goes to therapy together, there are higher chances that they start working on their dynamics to achieve success quickly.

Couple therapy also implies that you spend less money and get your marriage back on track sooner.

#3. Marriage Counseling Can Help You Find The Right Solutions

Many people who come to counseling believe that they’ll be able to save their marriage. And some do, but not all. Unfortunately for some, marriage counseling works by convincing the couple into getting a divorce. The sessions make them understand that their marriage is not a happy one and that they need to get out of this unhealthy relationship. The counseling does not necessarily help the couple to fix their marriage by working on the problems but sometimes advise them to get out of the marriage because that is the most feasible option.

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#4. Emotionally Focused Therapy Works Well

There is no magic in this world which can automatically fix a marriage or a broken relationship. All a counselor does is to provide them with the emotional support that is lacking in their relationship. Therapists have found incredible results by using their Emotionally Focused Therapy or EFT. The therapy works by helping the couple to understand and recognize their emotional responses towards situations and towards each other’s behaviors. It has been found that by working on their emotional cycle, the couples have been able to develop a greater understanding which has improved their cycles of interaction.EFT helps the couple to foster their attachment in healthy and productive ways.

#5. The Sooner The Better

It is commonly believed by therapists that the most appropriate answer to “how does marriage counseling work?” is, it depends on when you plan to take up the sessions. Therapists suggest the sooner the better. If the couple waits until the problems have gone too far, there are chances that one of the partners may have already given up. For the best results, the couple should seek therapy as early as possible. A couple can even sign up for a premarital counseling.

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#6. Finding The Right Therapist Is Important

Studies suggest that the education of your marriage therapist does not hold much significance until they are able to help you. Responders seconded the thought by saying that they did not find any difference in being counseled by a psychologist, a psychiatrist, or a social worker, it’s all about the therapy, not the person who suggests it. Couples can choose their therapists completely based on their instincts instead of looking at their degrees. Because the sessions are concerned with mental therapies, a therapist needs to be able to empathize with the couple instead of looking into his notes.

There are chances that even a highly educated psychologist is not able to understand your real situation, and a friend does. Counseling is not supposed to be a college lecture wherein the professor just babbles out big words, it’s supposed to give you an insight into your real problems.

How Can Marriage Counseling Be Made Effective?

#. If both the partners are motivated enough, they can definitely work up their problems.

#. If both the partners are willing to recognize and resolve their conflicts by using the tools provided by the therapist

#. If both the partners are willing to bridge their communication gaps. This will help them in making their conversations more interactive, hence bringing them closer.

#. If both the partners agree to rebuild their marriage with renewed commitments keeping in mind the problems that they faced on the former agreement.

To sum up, marriage counseling can prove to be effective only if both the partners show a willingness to take the responsibilities for their share of problems, by accepting their faults and staying motivated to make amends. It is important for couples to have realistic expectations because they might need more than few sessions to reflect on the dynamics of the relationship.

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Considering the statistics of marriages and the following divorces, many couples have pledged to get married later in their lives. It surely has reduced the rates of divorce, for the fact that the decision of getting married was well thought off, and therefore might not end up in separation.

In addition to marriage counseling, premarital counseling is said to be effective as well. Premarital counseling is another therapy that helps you in preparing yourself for the big event. The counseling tries to ensure that you and your partner have a strong, healthy and steady marriage. Attending such sessions may help you in developing better chances of stability and satisfaction in your relationship.

Do you think that marriage counseling is effective in fixing your marriage? Let us know in the comment section below.

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