How to deal with a Misogynist Partner?

1,663 Views Updated: 22 Sep 2017
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How to deal with a Misogynist Partner?

Do you have some expectations from your romantic partner? Do you wish they behave in a certain way and possess a set of values? Do you feel that they should treat the opposite gender in a particular way? Have you been disappointed by the behavior of your previous partners? Are the ladies out there hoping to have some specific values exhibited by their male partners? As women do you sometimes worry about the way your partner will react to the kind of lifestyle or professional choices you make. Are you concerned about the kind of restrictions your partner may wish to impose on your lifestyle because they have some apprehensions regarding the way women behave socially?

As a society, we have come a long way when it comes to the kind of progress we have made relating to the status of women in the society and the kind of freedom they have in most parts of the world. But, we cannot completely rule out the fact that there remains a lot of challenges women have to face in their day to day life. Women are subjected to various negative behavior from the society. This is not only from men alone; a lot of women tend to create problems and norms that lead to the development of adverse living conditions for other women.  

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Irrespective of what women have to face from the society at large, there is a certain kind of behavior and support they expect from their family and close relations. What can become the most crucial support for them is the kind of behavior their romantic partners are the willing exhibit. What is so important about the support and approval of the partner? Is the fact that right after the parents, the partner plays a major role in our lives crucial to you? It is possible for us to ignore what all the other people have to say, the way the world chooses to treat and judge us, but, it is impossible to ignore what the most crucial people in our lives think and feel about us. 

Having mentioned the importance of the support of the male partner and their behavior towards women, we should face the harsh truth; there are many men who have a very negative attitude towards women. They tend to have a very low opinion of women. Or simply do not know how to respect women and give them the space they deserve. These people are termed as misogynists, and they have a deep disregard for women. It is crucial to understand that the reason for having such negative feelings for women. It can be because of how they have seen people in their family treat women. The kind of position they have seen women occupy in the household. It can be because of certain negative life experiences that may have involved women as a part of it. It can be because of the conditioning provided by the culture they are brought up in. 

Whatever the case may be, such opinion about women is not very helpful and healthy for a relationship. It is crucial for us to keep in mind the fact that it is hard to deal with a partner who is possessive or insecure, but, it is impossible to deal let alone, even be with for a moment, with a partner who does not respect you and the entire women race. What is it that you can do to deal with such a situation? Well, I am sure the first thought that must have crossed your mind is the fact that why will you ever continue to stick around with a man who is a misogynist?  

It is not always possible for us to know a person completely, and as they say sometimes it takes a day and sometimes it is impossible to figure out a person even after a decade. There is also the truth that we all are evolving beings and tend to grow and change as individuals as we grow and mature. And we have no control over many life experiences which may have a profound effect on the way we evolve. So, whatever the reason may be, if you find yourself dealing with a misogynist partner, there are some things you can keep in mind when you are required to be with them. 

How To Deal With A Misogynist Partner? 


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#1. Please understand one thing clearly, when you are dealing with a partner who is a misogynist do not make an effort to change them. If you are someone who is optimistic and wish to focus on the positive aspects of life, that is a great quality to have. But, in this case, being all hopeful and making constant efforts to convince your partner about how wrong they are and trying to drill the idea that the notion they have about women is wrong, is going to be of no use. Any misogynist is not going to be convinced by a woman about how wrong they are. Constantly trying to change this person will only adversely affect you. You will be disappointed and will make it a point make him resent you. Compelling him to be a different person and change his opinion about women is not the right approach when it comes to such situations.  

#2. The best thing to do in case you have to and wish to continue your relationship with this person. You have made a choice to stick around even after knowing who he really is, so now you will need to accept him that way. Please make peace with the kind of thought process he has when it comes to women. Please try to understand the fact that you cannot change a person by force. If you are not willing to accept them, you are choosing to make things worse for yourself. Either you choose to not deal with this person at all, and if you by choice want to deal with him, you will have first to accept him the way he is. 

#3. There is always room for improvement. We are all humans who are evolving. We change and grow and become a different version of ourselves. When I ask you not to force your partner, it does not rule out the idea that they can change. It does not mean they will never wish to change. What it surely means is the fact that they will not change because it is your wish and you are imposing it on them. The way to make sure your partner will at least want to change their opinion about women and not continue to have too many negative ideas about them. The way to make him flexible is by exhibiting behavior and being the kind of women, you really are. Bring out the good in you. When he will see you being the best version of you when he will see how willing you are to accept him when he will see the version of a woman which is completely different from the concept he has believed in. He may be willing to change his ideas about them. You can do it by setting an example and not by force.

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#4. Do not encourage him. What this means is the idea that you will not even by mistake agree on the kind of negative ideas he has about women. This may be a possibility because there might be women in your family you both dislike, your mother in law may be giving you a hard time. But, when he begins to express his dislike for these women and what is so not bearable about them, you will need to make sure you do not begin to express your dislike for them. You may not like them, but the moment you begin to agree with your partner's opinion about them, you encourage him more. I do understand this may sound complicated, but, this is essential to keep in mind.  

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#5. You will have to make sure you express the things you do not like. Which mainly includes, things such as a certain behavior of his that you do not agree with, some of his comments that offend you. If you feel there are certain things like that, please make sure you do not keep them unnoticed. You may be uncomfortable to bring it to his notice, or not sure how to do it; please keep in mind, it is very important for you to do it. 

Do you think you are dealing with a partner who is a misogynist? Do you find it hard to cope with him? Are you not sure of what to do and what not to do? If you have been in this situation before and if you have been dealing with a misogynist, please let us know what you do to keep the relationship going? Do let us know what you think of the tips given above. Please comment in the box below. 

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