An unhealthy relationship is a bad relationship. Matters go out of hand in unhealthy relationships, and all good things or the possibility of pleasantness fails through completely. The bad relationship shows its symptoms over the time and ruins the relationship to bits. Desperate situations call for desperate measures. Every relationship goes through ups and down and has its own chinks in the armor, but the scenario deteriorates if one waits in vain for the silver lining.
Unhealthy relationships make our lives miserable, the tortuous life cannot be endured for long, and it is appropriate to call it quits to avoid further damage. It is better to hear the din of the deterrent, failing which can cause more than acrimony, disgust, and loneliness in a relationship.
Bad things do not happen abruptly, the mass of all things bad and sad build up slowly and gradually gets collected. The bitterness, contempt, indifference – these are the unhealthy relationship signs which tend to mar the relationship. Some of the signs defining an unhealthy relationship are given below :
#1. You Feel Lonely
When anyone feels lonely, devoid of any company, one tends to go round the bend. The loneliness is akin to a poison which kills the individual. If you end up feeling all alone even if your partner keeps you company, it is probably due to the reason that the relationship you are in is not the right one.
#2. Cheating
If one of you is cheating on your partner due to whatsoever reasons; because no ifs and buts work when you are in a relationship. These words certainly do not come to rescue when you try to cover cheating. Betrayal is the worst form of action in any relationship.
#3. Comparison
Making analogies, comparing one’s partner with your ex or his or your friends causes contempt and a sense of grief. If you happen to compare your partner and fail to recognize his or her worth, you are probably in the circle of unhealthy relationships.
#4. Indifference
If your partner is cold and indifferent to your emotions, sentiments, and achievements, it is probably he or she has lost interest in you and did not want to share things with you and react to your feelings in the bargain. Stoicism is a sign of unhealthy relationships.
#5. Lack Of Respect
When a person in a relationship doesn’t respect another’s space and decisions, he or she shows disrespect. When your partner cannot agree to your statements and stick to his own decisions no matter what, it calls for contemplation.
#6. Object Of Ridicule
When your partner mocks and derides you in public, before friends and family, and makes you feel dejected and bad, it’s time to give in to the demands and unnecessary indulgence in mockery. Good humor is healthy, but unhealthy humor and ridiculous jokes are never acceptable.
#7. Fibber
When your partner fibs a great deal without any good reason, he tends to break the thread of trust between you both. Creating a web of lies creates a bridge between partners in a relationship due to which there emanates a lack of trust, and arguments and fights follow.
#8. You Are Cut Dead
When your partner cuts you dead, doesn’t pay heed to any of your actions, be it a personal affair or a professional matter, he or she is ignoring you and doesn’t want to interact with you or be a part of any interaction that involves you.
#9. Negative Influence
If your partner is a negative influence on you, asks you to do unethical things, criminal activities, you should think about your relationship twice so that you don’t encounter impediments in the future.
People go through the roller coaster of emotions of yes and no when dealing with a bad relationship. They cannot bring themselves to arrive at a decision – to do or not to do, the proverbial dilemma that happens to haunt everyone. Unhealthy relationships have no future, and they do not promise anything good on the horizon. You can save your relationship if you can figure out things with your partner and feel confident and certain that the relationship will stomach the passing hurdles. Serious situations cannot be folded back to the normal; it is when you feel you or your partner has crossed the Rubicon and cannot take more of it, you should definitely get out of it without second consideration. You can think twice if you are dubious of your decision and relationship if:
#1. You can adjust with the person and ignore little and trivial affairs which are barely of any significance.
#2. You can interact with your partner on the status of your relationship and work something around it.
#3. If you are emotionally connected to him or her, and feel the same on his part.
#4. If you are supportive and dependent on each other at least on some levels.
#5. If you have a positive outlook to breeze through the trials and tribulations of your relationship.
#6. If you feel secure in each other’s presence and the absence of any affects you.
#7. If you decide to work together, without indulging in blame game and mockery.
#8. If you feel free and when life seems within control when you are ready to take the bull by the horns.
Nobody likes to leave their partner or end their relationship without any rhyme or reason. When push comes to shove, people tend to ponder on the ugly pages of relationship and feel like getting out of unhealthy relationships. Unhealthy relationships rear its ugly head when things go to an extreme and cannot be treated and restored. It is often difficult to come out of a relationship which you have been maintaining with great persistence and effort. Eventually, a bad relationship must come to an end for good. Here are some of the ways by which you can get out of a bad relationship :
#1. Love Yourself
It is necessary to love yourself and your decisions and life so that others can love it too. If you fail to love your own identity, nobody would want to be with you. You must keep yourself happy.
Happiness reflects on visages, and you must stay positive and think of ways to cheer yourself up so that no one takes advantage of you.
#2. Do Not Endure Abuse
If you are abused verbally or physically, you should stand up and say – It’s enough, for the relationship. Never allow your partner to abuse you and move on and settle with a person who pours love and affection on you. This will make you cheerful and satisfied.
#3. Admit The Reality
Admitting the reality is the first step in getting out of the bad relationship. You have to face the reality and the truth which stands barely revealing all its negativity. People must brace themselves up for getting out of the unhealthy relationships.
#4. Forgive Yourself
People often go on a guilt trip because of their strong decisions which leave them despondent which is useless. People have to learn to forgive themselves so that they can start their life afresh. If you do not forgive yourself, you will stick to the bitter memories of your past and would not be able to move forward.
#5. Have A Plan
Do not go topsy-turvy in your decisions or else your intentions will go awry. Feel confident while telling your partner and family the decision you are about to take and prepare yourself for good and bad.
#6. Do Not Settle
The best life waits for you and you will never find the right person overnight. Good things take time and the right time makes you meet the right one. So, do not ever plan on settling or compromising with your partner just for the sake of family and the society because it’s ultimately you who has to decide about your life and its happiness.
#7. Seek Help
Do not be embarrassed or insecure about your decisions, seek help from friends, family, and colleagues and share your troubles. You will not get a solution but you might get emotional support and strength to quit the bitter relationship you are in. People who have been through the unhealthy relationships can guide you and can offer solutions and tips for a new page of life as well.
Have views on getting out of an unhealthy relationship? Please do share your thoughts in the comments.
(Images Courtesy: Blog Bible, Evan Mark, Computing, Love at First Sight, The Couple's Expert, Loner Wolf, Steven Aitchson, Pathfinder, Indian Youth)
(Featured Image Courtesy: Be Happy Tips)
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Love, Relationships and Break up!
There’s a lot of confusion in this world about the concept of ‘Love’. I call it a concept, because it is acutely subjective to each person. Even when two people claim to share the same love, It is in reality the conjunction of the definition of the two. It wouldn’t even be an exaggeration if I said, that each person’s perception of love is as unique as their fingerprints. The added complexity is the dynamic nature of it, meaning how with time it is always changing. Varying depending on an endless list of factors including but not limited to age, maturity, values, circumstances, culture, status quo and the most important of all the state of mind. So even though ‘LOVE’ is one of the simplest and the most familiar word to the crowd on this planet, it’s meaning is one of the most ambiguous.
Now let’s talk about relationships. A relationship or more precisely a love relationship is when two people mutually share that feeling of love towards each other. Hence, by natural definition a successful relationship is the one in which the shared love is flourishing. Where both people complement each other’s love and the bond keeps on strong. The ever-growing love implies a strong relationship; timeproof, destined to last forever. Happiness! Isn’t it? At this point you might be convinced to believe that, Aren’t you? Well, let me tell you we all are. We start to believe it is all it takes for that ideal love and perfect relationship. But Alas! Is it true?
Not really! For as far as my brain can imagine, a perfect relationship forever is almost next to impossible with us being humans, humans with imperfections. Remember when I said earlier, the concept of love depends on all the varying factors, now is when they come to play. This time twice so, because when speaking of relationship we are talking about two people here so the good and the bad as well the factors multiply by 2.
Hopefully you have comprehended by now, I am not talking about the meager 4-month so-called-relationships which of-course end, and are rightly termed ‘break-ups’. I am talking about the actual relationships, where people really give themselves in. Go along cultivating their shared love, years altogether. Almost living a 2 digit percentage of total life together. But what does fate has in for them?
With the change in time, situations, age, status quo, places they live, distance, the conditions around, even the wisest or strongest people tend to act or take imprudent decisions which might not be righteous. The highs and lows of the life beats the conviction of ones concept of love. The reality of life hits them on the face. Even the strongest relationships fail this test of life. The shared bond of love or the combined wisdom of the two, falls short to overcome the anomaly life throws at them.
When a relationship with someone you love like this ends, It’s nothing less of a feeling than loosing a member of family to death. It’s actually an even worse feeling than that, because when somebody dies somewhere you know they cannot come back and you are forced to accept it, but when it comes to an end of relationship you constantly keep on wanting if things could revert and the pain prolongs. A breakup in such a relationship is actually a tear apart on a person physically, emotionally and mentally. It’s killing, some people actually succumb to that.
What’s the conclusion? There isn’t any. There cannot be a way to love someone cautiously and it’s bullshit to even say to be careful before you get in a relationship with someone, because you never think of anything negative or any (ifs) at that point. When you are in love and you feel it’s real you are reckless. There’s just one thing that I want to say, you cannot have a timeproof relationship, so don’t aim for it. Love truly, if your love is true you would cross all troubles and boundaries. BUT, if all the good doesn’t happen and it reaches to break, least you can do is to save the other person as much from the trauma they will go through. Be truthful of your actions. Communicate. For even if you owe nothing, you owe them their well-being. Or question yourself, if you are even human?
Live. Love. Believe.
-Siddharth Goyal