How to Get Over your Commitment Phobia?

1,119 Views Updated: 03 Oct 2017
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How to Get Over your Commitment Phobia?

We all are aware of the fact that it is essential to have a partner in our life who we are going to grow old with. There are some relationships in our life that cannot be replaced, whether it is our parents, siblings and our partners, we are most attached to such relationships, and these relationships define our life. They determine the developments that take place in our lives and impact all the life decisions and experiences we have in our lifetime. This is why it is very important to have compassionate and reliable people who play these roles in our life. We do not get to choose our parents and siblings or even our immediate family members who define our world. But, we surely get to pick the person who is going to be our life partner for a major part of our life.

What then remains the question is, why is it so difficult for people to decide who they wish to be with for the rest of their life and why do people in today’s day and age find it impossible to commit to one person and stick together through thick and thin? Why is it so difficult for people in the present times to create and grow deep and true relationships, which are beyond just the texts and the coffee dates and the cheezy romantic conversations taking place online? Why do we find most young adults not willing to take up all the responsibility necessary for the strengthening a romantic partnership?

Are you someone who is experiencing the same set of problems? Do you wish to be in a relationship and experience all the good and bad of it, yet you find yourself break into a sweat at the thought of getting committed to one person and stick to it for the rest of the life? Here are some of the things you can do to make sure you figure out what it is that you exactly wish to do and have when it comes to a romantic partnership and to be able to get rid of your phobia of commitment.

How To Get Rid Of Your Commitment Phobia?

#1. Get To Know What Is Stopping You

The first most crucial step is to make sure you know what is stopping you from getting committed to a particular person even though you tend to love them. There are various reasons that keep us from expressing our love and taking the relationship to the next level. Some of these are:

You may be unable to make proper time for your committed serious relationship and your valuable career at the same time. It may be your biggest fear that you will have to compromise all the time and effort you are able to put into your work life, in case you get into a committed relationship, where the demands are more.

You may not be willing to make the adjustments that you will have to make in order to stay together in the relationship. Sometimes our lifestyle and the way we lead our life becomes so crucial to us that we just cannot happen to think of adjusting to all the new changes that a committed relationship will bring into our life.

It is also possible that you are finding it impossible to accept all the flaws that your partner has. All of us are well aware of the idea that no one is perfect and there are small things that all of us need to accept in our partner. Irrespective of the kind of partner you tend to have, and no matter how perfect they are, there are always some habits they will have that will require us to adjust to them. The moment we are unable to do so, it is impossible for us to let the relationship grow.

#2. Be Clear About What You Wish To Have

Sometimes it is impossible for us to commit to people because we are not clear about what we are looking for in the relationship. When you do not know what you want, you will not be able to make a concrete decision. The best way to be able to say yes to take your relationship to the next level and to be able to stick to it for the longest time, you will need to be clear about the specifics of what you want to experience in the relationship.

If you are clear about what you want, you will be overjoyed, the moment you meet a potential partner, it will be easy for you to say yes to making it a stronger and a long-lasting relationship. In case you are not sure and you meet a potential partner, you will not be able to recognize the potential the relationship has.

#3. Be Open To The Creative Possibilities

At times we have a pre-determined notion of the kind of relationship we are wishing to be a part of; it becomes impossible for us to accept anything that is different from it. The whole idea of things being different from our comfort zone makes us turn our back to a relationship which may be perfect for us.

When we keep an open mind, we tend to be open to those things that may not be familiar to us, yet we may end up loving every bit of the new things that make way into our life. When we are open to new experiences, chances are most of the time we will be exposed to experiences and people that are way better than our imagination. But, if we keep resisting it, we will surely not be able to recognize all the cool things that can be a part of our life. If you are open to all the new things that the relationship brings into your life, you are going to find it easy to make the necessary changes. This will ensure you are not confused when you have to make a commitment.

#4. Be Willing To Take Responsibility

No relationship is ever going to work out if both the people involved are not willing to take responsibility and share all the things that are required to be taken care of in the relationship. If you are not open to becoming more responsible and keep burdening all the tasks on your partner, the relationship will not work out.

At the same time, it is essential to make sure you are willing to take up all the responsibility, as this is very crucial even when you are planning to take your relationship to another level. The biggest fear or hurdle that people face are regarding the responsibilities they will have to deal with once the relationship becomes concrete. Please keep in mind, that there will be a point of time in life when you will have to deal with these responsibilities. Will it not be better to do so with someone who you love the most and tend to get along with?

Taking responsibility is important in all phases of life, as we grow up, we all need to push our limits and take our ability to be responsible to another level. Responsibilities will keep increasing, that is the norm of moving from one phase to another phase in life. The more you are mentally ready to deal with these changes it will be easy for you to make space for the correct kind of relationship and not run away from it.

#5. Keep A Positive Attitude

When you keep a positive attitude, you will be able to focus on the positive aspect of being in a committed relationship with a person you love. This is crucial because with a negative mindset you will end up making the wrong decisions as you will not be able to look at the kind of positive aspects the relationship is introducing into your life.

Positivity is important as it keeps fear and all the other negative emotions away from the mind. These negative thoughts are the cause of most people not being able to commit to their partners. When we tend to keep a positive attitude, we allow the positive to flourish in our life. This will also include our romantic partnership, once we are able to find the correct person who we are compatible with and who we tend to love the most, having a positive mind is going to make the rest of the journey easy and flawless.

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When we remain positive and get rid of the unnecessary fear and the baggage of the past, we make sure we are making way for a better future in our life. It helps to keep all our apprehension and confusion away, at the point we meet our best mate, we are able to make the right decision and commit to creating a beautiful relationship and future.

If you have been experiencing the fear of committing to a person and not being able to make peace with your new set of responsibilities, do you feel this article has thrown light on the ways to make your situation better? Please leave a comment below and let us know your opinion.

(Images Courtesy: 1. Neil Rosenthal,  2. Keishorne Scott, 3. Power of Positivity 4. Power of Positivity, 5. Indian Makeup and Beauty Blog, 5.  Glamour)

(Featured Image Courtesy: Dating)
Posted by: Declan Posts: (6) Opinions: (6) Points: 515 Rank: 287

In today’s day and age it has become impossible for a lot of people to make sure they are completely
sure about what they really wish to achieve form the romantic relationship they are in. moreover, they
do not have the slightest interest in making all those essential adjustments that is going to make sure
that the relationship works out fine.  
What I feel is the issue that is causing them to do so is the idea that they will have to get rid of all the
independence they have in their life and will have to make adjustments that they will have to stick to for
the rest of their life. Most of the young adults today have a career that they are working towards and
tend to make sure they put in all the effort to be successful in them. Having a career and being financially
independent are the things that are common it today’s day and age. It is because of this that it becomes
impossible for them to make sure that they make all the required adjustments that are going to make
sure their relationship with their partner is going to work out perfectly. At the same time it is also
impossible for them to imagine a life without the love and the bonding that a romantic relationship
provides. We all are aware of the fact that it is not possible for us to live a life that does not have the
support and the love that we get from a romantic relationship; it is something that we all wish to have.  
But, they are afraid of the all the added responsibilities that comes with that kind of love, care and
support. They wish to experience all the love and all the amazing moments that come with the
relationship, but is not willing to make sure they are able to charge of all the responsibilities that come
along with the relationship.
This is the reason it becomes impossible for them to get into a committed relationship, they are not sure
about what they want to do, and they are unable to figure out what they want from the relationship. It is
because of all the confusion and the entire hesitance in the relationship that these individuals are not
able to make sure they commit to their romantic partners.  
Any kind of commitment will require both the partners to make sure they take up responsibilities and are
able to make the required adjustments that when it is required in the relationship. What is most
important is both the partners are willing to do these things when the need arises in the relationship, it
will not be possible for them to make the relationship work out if they are not willing to do so. On the
other hand they will not be able to happy in their life if they constantly have to make adjustments that
they are not willing to do.  
What is important is that they are willing to strike the required balance, if they have to be in committed

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