Breakups are the worst part of a relationship, and nobody wishes to go through it. However good your relationship was, breakups hit you hard.
If you recently broke up with your ex and are wishing to get them back, then this article will help you out in achieving your goal.
#1. Understand The Reasons
As per studies, the most important reason for breakups is lack of communication. Unclear expectations and open-ended discussions can lead to frustration resulting in an explosion. Take some time and do some soul searching before you attempt to get your ex back. Issues like infidelity and jealousy can only be sorted with communication.
(Image Courtesy: Chobirdokan)
It is natural to stay confused after a breakup, and the confusion can make you regret your decision. We often confuse our emotions of loneliness and hurt to get our ex back in our life. The more the serious relationship, the more the feelings of remorse, accompanied by anxiety, guilt, depression, and loneliness.
If you too find yourself in a similar situation, then try asking yourself these questions:
#. Do you miss your ex, or do you miss having a boyfriend or girlfriend?
#. Did he or she make you feel better about yourself, more secure in the world, and happier?
#. Do you imagine yourself with this person in the long-term, even when the excitement is dead?
It is important to take some time off after breaking up and before trying to get your ex back. Getting back with your ex immediately after the breakup often lacks trust and can end up in being an on-and-off thing.
If you just want to get back with your ex because you are feeling lonely, then there are more options available that can help you feel secure and complete.
(Image Courtesy: Boundless)
#3. Avoid Contacting Them Too Soon
Breaking up is a big decision and you need to give yourself some time to accept the current scenario. Sit back; think about your decisions and the reasons behind breakup which made you do it. And if that doesn’t help, then stay involved in activities that you like to do. It will help you keep your mind off the radar.
Calling your ex back even before one month of your breakup is the worst decision you could ever make. Attend to their calls, in case they do.
There could be a possibility that you feel better by ignoring your ex, and you feel happier without them being around you.
Avoiding contact with your ex can be a passive-aggressive way to make your ex miss you, but can also help you in realizing your actual feelings towards the breakup.
Taking time for yourself will help you in distinguishing between the feelings of sadness after the breakup or the real desire to win your ex back. Sort things out in your lonely time.
#4. Pay Attention To Yourself
Spend your time with family and friends. Throw yourself into work or any other extracurricular activities. Don’t spend time thinking about your ex, it will only accelerate their want in your life.
(Image Courtesy: The Independent)
#5. Do Not Pursue Your Ex
Not pursuing them includes no calling, texting, or asking around about their whereabouts. Even if you do call them, don’t you dare ask them the reasons for breaking up or whether they are involved with somebody else. You might just sound desperate.
On the other hand, if in your head you know that you want to win over your ex again, then do attend to their calls and messages. It is not compulsory to play hard to get, it might push him back and never return back. You don’t want that right?
#6. Are They Still Interested?
Before analyzing tricks to get your ex back, do you know if they want it too? Do you not think that it is important that both of you are on the same page? Yes, it is, and you need to figure out if your ex is still interested in coming back to you.
Knowing that they still care for you is the biggest hint that they haven’t been able to take you off the hook.
Use your friends to investigate for you. Ask them to find out whatever clues possible. Look for subtle hints by walking through them in school, college or office. Hints are important if you do not want to make a fool out of yourself.
(Image Courtesy: Askideas)
#7. Get A Makeover
The best solution to all your problems could be your damaged hair or your dull clothing. Just get a makeover. Hit the mall or the salon, get yourself revamped. Gain his attention with your new killer looks. Make him fall for you all over again. He was attracted to you before; make him realize that he made the right choice.
Breaking up with your girlfriend must have been extremely painful and if you wish to get her back, then here’s what you need to do.
#1. Be The Person Your Ex Fell In Love With
None of the above helped you yet? Do you still want your ex back? Well then, become the person that he fell in love with. Yes, after spending quite some time with the ones we love, we start taking them for granted. We often forget what made them happy, and what you used to be. Was it your sense of humor or your dressing sense? Think about what made them drop their weapons. Focus on being what used to rekindle the fire between the two of you.
If you are still struggling with the need to have your ex back, then there is a possibility that you are lacking some self-esteem. Do not let your happiness depend on someone else. Self-esteem is all about believing in your self-worth, and in a relationship, it is important to feel complete as an individual rather than looking for someone to do that for you.
To boost your self-esteem, you should concentrate on your strengths in emotional, social, talents and skills, appearance, and every other important area that concerns you. Focus on the positive and ignore the negative, it will help you to feel adequate and valuable as an individual.
(Image Courtesy: The Independent)
#3. Devote Time To Other Things
Now that you are single, explore your options. The world is your showroom and you can shop whatever and from wherever you want. You do not necessarily have to sleep with every new person you meet, you can just hang out and have a good time. Maybe it’ll make you realize that you have moved over your ex and found better options.
And if going out with new people is not your thing, then just hang around with your friends, or some other guy to make your ex jealous.
#4. Hang Out With Your Ex?
Can you do that? Of course, you can. Make plans to hang out, mind it, only to hang out as ‘friends’. Keep it fun and avoid any serious conversations. Every relationship should be built on the foundation of friendship, and therefore it’s important that you win his friendship before winning him back completely.
This will also help you in realizing if you have friend-zoned your ex and do not feel the same way for him like you used to.
(Image Courtesy: kamdora)
#5. It’s Time That You Talk It Out
If you have spent some good time together being friends, it is time that you do the talking. Have an honest conversation about your history together and whether you both wish to have a romantic relationship in the future. Invite them for coffee or dinners to set the atmosphere right.
#6. Be Careful With Your Words
Being in a critical stage like this, you cannot act fumble. What you say to your ex is the most important thing. Saying the wrong things at the wrong times is only going to scare away your ex. You need to understand that each word that you say holds certain weightage, and hence needs to be chosen carefully. There are safe options to initiate conversations if you want to win back your ex. You can express regret about things that didn’t work out and ask them about their take on the present situation.
Let the conversation flow naturally. If you feel that your ex harbor the same feelings as you do, then you can always talk about the possibilities of getting back with them.
#7. Apologize
A breakup always finds both the partners guilty, and hence you are aware that you were at fault. Why not accept it? If you want to get back with your ex, then why would you not accept your faults and get over with it?
Apologize for whatever you did and ask them to move on and start afresh. Accepting your mistakes will definitely help in melting your partner’s heart.
(Image Courtesy: Shutterstock)
If things worked well, you are probably getting back with your ex. Remember that the first time didn’t go well, so make sure you start afresh. Treat the second time like a completely new relationship.
#. Take it slow
#. Make amends
#. Be more understanding
#. Empathize with your partner
#. Try to rebuild the lost trust
These steps will surely help you both to enjoy your new innings.
If nothing worked for you, then it would be sensible to accept things the way they are. You tried your level best to make things work, if it’s still not working out, do not push it too hard, A relationship needs to be nurtured with love and care if you still miss out on it, the relationship is bound to fail again.
Do you think getting back with your ex is a good idea? Let us know in the comment section below.
(Featured Image Courtesy: Vixen daily)
10 Opinions
