How to Spot & Avoid a Serial Dater?

2,401 Views Updated: 08 Apr 2018
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How to Spot & Avoid a Serial Dater?

The dating world that we see today is bizarre. We have hopeless romantics, loners and we have serial daters too. Serial daters are those people who move on from one person to another as a honeybee moves from one flower to another collecting the nectar. They are afraid of committing to one person and never seem to stay with one partner for too long.

Would you want to get involved with such a person? Well, if you are looking for a casual, fun relationship then they can be a good match as serial daters never wants to settle down but if you are looking for wants to settle down but if you are looking for THE ONE, then perhaps you should steer clear of them. But how do you spot a serial dater?

Here are some signs that can help you know if you are going out with a serial dater.

#1. They Do Not Want To Know You

The initial days of dating someone, when you are getting to know the person you are going out with is the best part of a relationship. Exploring their likes, dislikes, what ticks them off and other things about them make you fall for them even more. Well, that isn’t so much the case when you are involved with a serial dater. What serial daters are interested in is having fun, and as soon as you start talking about your feelings, experiences, thoughts or personal history, you drive them away. They never want to know you, and when you try, it repels them.

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#2. They Do Not Share Personal Details

Serial daters keep it light. They meet you, have fun, and when they need to pass the time again, they come back. One thing that you too might have noticed during your encounter or interactions with serial daters is that they never share their personal details with the people they are dating. They may spend a few good moments with you, share a story or two and even have some rare instances of opening up, but they never reveal anything personal about them. In addition to that, you will never find any serial dater caught up in a vulnerable situation.

#3. They Avoid Talking About The Future Of The Relationship

Serial daters want to date, and that is all that they want to do. They live in the moment. If they are having fun, then it is well and good, and if not, they make a change. You will never be able to successfully sit down a serial dater and talk to them about where they see this relationship going and what are their expectations from the relationship. The only expectation they have from it is that it will be over and they will move on to be with someone else.

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#4. They Have Never Had A Long Relationship

How to tell he/she is a serial dater? Well, the answer is pretty simple. Look into their dating history. Serial daters never stay with a person for a long period of time. The longest relationship they have ever had would be a few months or a year to two at the most. Beyond that, they cannot bear being with just one person even when the chemistry is right, and everything is going smooth. In case the person you are dating has never had a long relationship in the past, despite having been involved with a lot them, then it is a red sign shouting you should take a step back.

#5. Relationships Aren’t Their Priority

Serial daters date a lot, but relationships or dating is never their priority; not even close. In fact, their work is what defines them. They have huge aspirations for the future and cannot let anyone, not even love, get in their way. All they want is to make a ton of money, buy stuff, have a great career and nothing more. People, especially the people they date are there to satisfy a physical need. When you love your work, there isn’t much room left for anything or anybody else, is there? That is the case with serial daters most of the time. Rather than wondering how to win over a serial dater and make him fall for you, we suggest you back off without getting too emotional about them.

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#6. You Can Never Guess Their Mood

Serial daters are charmers. In no time, they can become your favorite person from strangers. But that is not how it goes on for long. After going out with you on a few dates or maybe a few weeks with everything great, their mood suddenly changes, and they start to use alarming terms like confusion, depression, in an attempt to make you understand. You do not want to date that person as this will only make you think that you did something wrong when the problem is with them. Also, you cannot expect an official breakup from them either. They just cut ties and drift apart when they think that their time with you is over.

#7. Their Charm Fades Away After Initial Days Of Dating

Well, there is no denying the fact that serial daters are charmers. Otherwise, how would they get so many people to go out on dates with them? But the charm that swept you off of your feet at one time fades away after a few dates. When serial daters learn that it is their time to move on, they can be the most boring person in the world. While earlier they wanted to go out to the club and have fun, now they want to stay home; what used to be never-ending conversations through the night turn into formality talks like ‘how are you,' ‘how was your day’ and then nothing.

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#8. They Make Empty Promises 

When you have just met a serial dater, they are the nicest person you have ever dated who would do anything for you. It is not just what you think, but it is also something that they tell you. But as the time passes by, the empty promises they made and the things they assured get tested and the real picture comes to light. Would you want to date someone who would say anything that seems right at the moment or do you want someone who remains still at their words?

#9. They Have A Type

What is commonly observed with serial daters is that they have a type. That is perhaps because they are more concerned with the physical appearance of the person they date than anything else. If you look at the dating history of our own well-known serial dater of Hollywood, Leonardo DiCaprio who has dated dozens of beauties of the fashion world, then you will notice that The Wolf Of Wall Street-star has a thing for hot blondes. In case you suspect that the person you are getting involved with is a serial dater, dwell a little on their dating past.

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Now that you can easily spot a serial dater. Let us look into how to avoid a serial dater. Here’s how you do it. 

#1. Well, Filter

As we told you above, serial daters never want to share anything personal with the one they are dating, that is how you can drive them away. If you are already dating them, talk to them about where they see this relationship going and you will shoo them away. 


(Image Courtesy: eHarmony)

#2. Control Your Senses

Serial Daters are charmers, which is the reason that you fall for them in the first place. When you are around them, it can become difficult to not like them, but unless you are ready for another prompt breakup, we suggest you control yourself. No matter how much fun it is to be around them, never get involved with them. 

#3. Do Not Try To Turn Them Around

Well, if you think that your love is true and you can turn them around, then you are on the way to wasting your time and efforts. You will not be the first one to be trying to do so, and most probably not the last one. Also, no chemistry is that good that you do so much for it. Move on. 


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Did you like what you read? Tell us through your comments. Also, share with us other things that you think can help spot a serial dater. We would love to hear what you have to say.

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Answer

Unless you are only looking to have fun, you do not want to waste your time going out with a serial dater. The only problem with that is how do you tell if someone is a serial dater or not? These are some going points mentioned in the article but I have a few of my own that I would like to bring to your notice. The first sign is that they are never single. They need a support in their life so they move on from one person to another in a nick of life. Another sign of a serial dater is that they are attention seekers. A serial dater just cannot live with the idea that they are not the life of the party or the center of attention in any public setting. Also, a serial dater might seem too easy. They are always flirting and hitting on strangers, so they are conceived to be quite easy. Last but certainly not the least, serial daters are easily bored. It is like they have their honeymoon period in a relationship and then they lose interest.
Also, it is not in your hands to see who you fall for. Though the best idea is to avoid getting involved with a serial dater, sometimes you just cannot control it. The heart wants what it wants and if it wants a serial dater, what can you do avoid it. If you are stuck in that situation, here are some tips that will help you tame your serial dater. The most important thing is to become a joyful person. No one likes to be around a sad person and you will have to be something more than what the serial dater has had in the past. Another way is to be continuous. Make a ritual, a Friday night dinner or a Saturday event, and let them know that it is important to you. These are simple things that will help you keep your serial dater to yourself.

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