Imagine your partner forgot to reply to your text message. What would be your reaction? You will probably start thinking of all the possibilities about why they did not message you. “Have they found someone else?”, “Are they with someone else right now?”, “My partner does not love me anymore” and “Have I become ugly?” are some questions that will cross your mind when you are over thinking. It could be possible that your partner did not message you because they were in the middle of answering the nature’s call. You often find yourself guilty of over thinking because in the end you are always proved wrong. You misinterpret their statements and then create a mess that becomes hard to clean on your own. You over think all the time whether they say something, do something or not do anything at all. In all situations, you want to assume things, and then you fall into your own trap.
All these questions put a strain on your mind, and you start believing that your partner is either cheating on you or they’re ignoring you. All of these are a result of over thinking and most of the times over thinking turns unhealthy in a relationship. A lot of problems start occurring in your relationship because you over think every time which leads to you not trusting your partner and more. You surround yourself with a lot of ifs, and you start doubting yourself.
Self-doubt is the worst thing a person can do. It makes it difficult for you to take decisions in so many confusions you create for yourself. You get confused and then you confuse your partner. When you over think you become hyper and irritable. When a person is irritable, s/he irritates others. So, you are not only creating a problem for yourself but others too. You become responsible for fights in your relationship. What should you do then? How do you stop over thinking in a relationship? Let us learn how you can stop overthinking in your relationship.
#1. Acceptance
The first thing you can do to stop over thinking is to accept that you are an overthinking. A lot of times our friends and our family keep telling us that we are over thinkers, but we do not agree with them. So, you need first to accept that you are over thinker and it has negative effects on your life. Once, you accept the fact that you indulge in over thinking it will become easy for you to change it. To change anything one must first accept that it is a bad quality and that it affects you in wrong ways.
#2. Put A Halt
Accepting is not enough. You need to stop yourself from doing it. There is a line between thinking critically about something and over thinking. So whenever you find yourself over thinking, you must try to think about something just to stop your overthinking powers. It is important to put a restriction on yourself otherwise you will not be able to stop overthinking. Others cannot know when you are thinking about something and when will it become extreme, and that is why you should stop yourself whenever your thoughts exceed their limits. When the facts about a situation are not available, or they do not please you, then you overthink about that situation to satisfy your explanation which may not even be logical.
#3. Unwind
It is very necessary to calm down your mind. When it keeps on processing things and situations around it gets worked up, and you start over processing things. We are involved in a million of works every day out of which most of them are high-level cognitive processes. When we think through from that high standard, we often start looking at other things as complicated even though they may be very simple. Sometimes we try to find out answers to situations through a lot of research and explanations, but when you think about it from a clear and calm mind you understand that the issue was a trivial one. You should start working out or meditating to calm down your mind so that you do not over think.
#4. Stay Occupied
The best way to avoid over-thinking is to keep yourself busy. You should keep yourself occupied in some work or the other in order to keep your mind at one place. Any person who is free tends to think about every other thing because the person has no other activity to keep busy in. The mind needs to be focused on one thing in order to stop overthinking. When the mind is not focused on one thing, it tends to think about other things, and it has no restrictions, so it starts overthinking. The person starts to daydream and procrastinate which has its own negative effects. Keep working and do not stay idle in your free time.
#5. Patience
We tend to over think most of the times when we are impatient. We are impatient to wait for your partner to explain and thus we land up over thinking and imagining them with some other person. This impatience makes us insecure https://askopinion.com/insecurities-in-a-relationship which can damage any relationship. Start practicing patience in life. There are various ways in which you can become patient. One is to start waiting for your partner, and other is meditation. You can start learning patience if you want to stop your habit of over thinking.
#6. Deadlines
Start giving deadlines to yourself so that you do not start procrastinating because of your over thinking habits. When you give yourself deadlines like you will wait for a day till you talk to your partner about something you think is wrong. The quicker decision you make, the quicker they fall. Never make decisions in haste. Always take the right amount of time not too much or too less to land on a conclusion. When you take too long to take a decision, you obviously get time to over think, and when you do not give yourself much time then you make the wrong decision based on short judgment. Both ways you will be at a loss, therefore, make a deadline of an appropriate time span.
#7. Be Easy
You should be easy on yourself because when you take too much pressure of a certain situation, you tend to over think. One must not be under stress or pressure at all as it is unhealthy. If you keep thinking about what your partner will think or what your partner will do, then you will definitely overthink. To avoid over thinking you should avoid extra stress. Be open and be yourself around your partner. One should have nothing to hide or be afraid of in a relationship. A relationship should make you stronger and confident.
#8. Bright Side
Always look at the bright side in every situation. The thoughts can be both positive and negative. If you think negatively about your relationship, then you should stop doing it. You should be thinking positively to take care of yourself and your relationship. Negativity can hamper your life personally and professionally both. When you over think about something you reach adverse aspects of it and they make you uncomfortable so you either become apprehensive or anxious. They both are harmful to your mind so you should not think negatively. Stay away from all the negative things and people in your life. Befriend good optimistic people and surround yourself with positive thoughts.
#9. Accepting Situations
You should accept the things as they are. Everything cannot be under your control, so it is necessary that you leave things as they are and handle them maturely. You need to accept everything so that you do not hurt yourself from over expectations. Overthinking makes you have high expectations which when are not fulfilled hurt you. Learn to accept the things as they are in our relationship and learn to accept a few things about your partner.
#10. Live In The Present
If you keep thinking about the things in the past or the future, it will become easier for you to over think. Living in the present will be beneficial to avoid overthinking. Once you start living in the present moment, you will not have time to think about the things that have happened already. It is useless to think about things that have happened already and could not bear sweet fruits for you. The present will bear the sweet fruits for your future. Live today and work hard for a better tomorrow. Think positively and good things will happen with you. What you do today will benefit you tomorrow. You should prioritize what is more important and what will matter after a year.
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Over-thinking can be really bad or it can help you. it depends on how you use your over-thinking attitude in your favor. Over-thinking is basically allowing a flood of thoughts that just make you sink to the bottom. These thoughts can be about something that has already happened or you think can happen in future. It depends on a person how s/he thinks about it. If something bad had happened then you can think of things worse or you could think of the ways in which it could have been better. For example, your partner had met an accident then you could over think about how he could have died and how bad that would have been or you could even think about how he could have been saved and he would have been fine. Thinking negatively will fetch negative outcomes and thinking positively will fetch positive results.
Negative Over-Thinking
When you think negatively then you allow your mind to build stress in the mind because of which the mind tenses the body. You may start feeling pain in your body or your hands may start shivering. So negative thinking can harm your mind and body. We all know how important a healthy mind and a healthy body is for proper functioning life.
You lose hope if you think about the negative aspects of something. You will lose hope that your relationship can survive because it has so many things that bring down your morale. You lose faith in your partner and yourself when you are surrounded in the gloom of your negative thoughts.
You do not act thinking about its negative outcomes. When you think negatively you lose the will to continue the work or the idea you are thinking about. If you start thinking about all the negative aspects of your relationship you will start feeling like your relationship cannot be amended anymore and that you should just leave it instead of working for it.
Positive Over-Thinking
When you think positively about a situation then you are thinking about the things that please you. Pleasurable moments such as the time you spent with your loved ones or the moments of success give you immense joy. Our brain releases some hormones that are responsible for happiness and these hormones relieve stress. So when you think positively you stay stress free.
Positivity brings hope. When you think about good things then the feeling of it coming true becomes stronger. You start hoping for good things in life even though nothing is going good in reality. You are filled with a feeling of strength and power with positive imagination and you feel that good things will happen soon.
You start acting on the situation you are thinking about. You feel good about something and that is why you want it to happen in real. And that can happen only if you start working for it. Positive thinking will encourage you to work towards it.
I used to but now I don't as my partner employed a very good technique to help me stop. She laughed at the madness of my thoughts and her sense of humor about these things dispelled the seriousness with which I brooded over random stuff.