No parent would ever agree to the fact that they treat their kids indifferent. For them, good parenting rules include keeping children of the family at an equal and lovable level. But, sibling favoritism somehow gets in between to hamper the balance, and all of us know it happens.
It's not just a kid talk, but this game of favorites is also carried onto the adulthood phase. But, why parents have a favorite child? How to deal with parental favoritism? And what exactly are the signs of parental favoritism/ sibling favoritism? Let's find out!
#1. Favorite kids somehow know that they are their parent's favorite.
#2. Parents tend to act weird when someone or you yourself ask them whether they love you or not.
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#3. There are more chances of the golden kid's partner being more accepted and adored.
#4. No matter how fantastic your choices are, you will always be let down.
#5. Sometimes, parents tend to be overprotective for their favorite child.
#6. If your sibling is the chosen one, he/ she will always be your parent's first preference when it comes to asking for advice.
#7. Trash talking about one child is pretty common in families. And somehow you know that even you are amongst their secret talks.
#8. Favoritism amongst siblings can be differentiated by how many chores have been allocated to each one of them. It's a clear indication that kid with the most chores isn't really a favorite one.
#9. If you have a 1950s type of a family, no other thing than gender could make one sibling the favorite of the entire clan.
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#10. Your mom and dad even worry more about them than they are concerned for you.
#11. Favorite kids always get what they have wished for. This darling child was always a priority, so they are just too easy to be identified.
#12. If your brother/ sister is the fave child in the family, your parents share some inside jokes with them that you will never come to know nor will you understand.
#13. All your activities are being compared with the fave kid. For instance, your father always says, "I am so glad that you are right on your brother's footsteps."
#14. Parental favoritism always involves taking sides of the favorite ones. Any word said by them is trusted beyond the acceptable levels. But if it were you, they would doubt not once but twice or even more.
#15. Your parents cannot resist bragging about them in front of just anyone. It is to such an extent that they nearly forget that you too exist on the family tree.
#16. They are the ones your parents spend more on.
#17. Favorite kids also tend to be favorite nieces/ nephews, grandchildren and cousins. It just doesn't stop!
No matter what anyone says, parents do play the game of favorites. And even our parents have somehow made us believe that they love all the siblings equally. Parents absolutely have a favorite kid. Some show in the form of sibling favoritism while the others maintain a straight deception. And favoritism is pretty human. Their connection with one kid being more than the other is simply the answer to why parents have a favorite child. And it is according to several studies that favoritism among siblings has been confirmed. It is the eldest one who leads the league. Even if there is utmost affection, at some point in time or in some situation, parental favoritism becomes a common scenario.
Whenever you observe that your parents prefer your sibling more, let them know what you feel about the situation. Try telling them that the condition upsets you. Maybe, they haven't even noticed themselves doing so. Favoritism amongst siblings is really common, but at times, parents genuinely don't realize that they are doing this. So, maintain a calm mindset and discuss with your parents that there is something in the family that needs improvisation.
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Never, mark these words; never blame your sibling when it comes to parental favoritism. Your brother or sister isn't at fault to encourage such a favored treatment. Do not work on losing your sibling relationship, rather strengthen your bond with them and have a good time together.
Perhaps, what seems to you as sibling favoritism could just be something else? And there could be a reason for your parents to show favoritism. One reason could be the need to do so - maybe your sibling requires that attention and you are seen as a capable and stronger amongst the two. You might not be aware of the reasons, but what you assume to be favoritism amongst siblings could just turn out to be a major compliment for you.
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It's a really common sight to see when parents play favorites and prefer one child over the other. The act can be manifested in different ways. But you know what, all the parental favoritism can at times have nothing to do with you. It's just that your parents might have more things in common with your sibling than you. And this doesn't mean the love for you is less. We all have our favorite people and families are no different.
Parenting isn't an easy task; it's a big responsibility on your mother and father. But if they seem to be wrong sometimes and talking with them isn't the option, then take the other way. Have a chat with your sibling about the matter that bothers you. And you never know, the issue might be bothering them as well. He/ she might see you as the favored kid, and look, that's what even you are bothered about. Ask for their support and try to change the current situation. Don't let it turn into a sibling rivalry.
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Always remember that sibling favoritism isn't your fault at all. It's just a matter of how your parents lack the understanding. And this situation might never be changeable. Parental favoritism doesn't mean you are lacking any responsibilities or attitude; it's just a matter of time or the way your parents act. The entire scenario might be painful, but when you know nothing's changeable, you will also realize that there's no lapse of yours. And when you are not able to change parental favoritism, you should come to terms with the circumstances. Or else you might ruin your mental peace.
It isn't necessary for you to deal with the situation of parental favoritism. Sometimes, you need to leave the situation as it is. Just understand that some relationships have those variations and it's unrealistic to expect a favorable behavior out of someone. Avoid confrontational statements with any of the family members. Don't really get into any kind of arguments, practice some calming techniques and remember that some people can't be changed, hence you need to modify your approaches. Look towards the brighter sides, do not display a temperamental attitude and concentrate on rebuilding your self-confidence which is getting affected by the situation.
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