How to get your Personal Space while Living with your Parents?

4,407 Views Updated: 11 Jun 2018
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How to get your Personal Space while Living with your Parents?

Personal space and privacy are those spaces of one's existence that cannot be seen but can definitely be felt. Personal space is an element that protects our integrity and self-confidence. It is an essential part that gives us a sense of security as well as maintains a healthy (and necessary) distance from the external world.

When you are living with parents as adults, it becomes an even more important and a treasurable zone. This territory of yours provides a comfortable latitude where external things are kept at a safe distance when you are inside. There are self-made rules, laws, and boundaries that keep contracting as well as expanding.

What Is the Importance Of Personal Space?

#1. Personal space violation makes it pretty uncomfortable on the part of children as they are growing and they need their privacy. And, there's nothing wrong in it.

#2. It determines whether our boundaries and interactions would be smooth, successful and comfortable enough or not.

#3. Personal space allows a person to indulge in his/ her comfortable spaces and accordingly analyze every situation.

#4. It prevents the development of any kind of negative reactions that keep accumulating inside you. 

#5. Infringement with anyone's personal space is like setting off a cracker in some unknown house.

#6. Personal space and privacy are like precious gifts anyone can ever get. It's your very own room, closet, chair or corner to counter the frenzy and wicked energies of the outside world or the people you live with.

#7. Personal space is your sacred space. It is the time and corner where you can refresh and rejuvenate after every stressful day/ moment.

#8. You can absolutely detox your brain and prepare it for the next day.

#9. Everyone in your family understands that this is your space and unauthorized entries are not acceptable. They refrain from getting in, and all you are doing inside is enjoying the me-time.

#10. You can have a wall that is hand painted with spiritual designs. You can hang wooden wind chimes. This sacred room is also a secret library with your all-time favorite books in it. There is a corner appropriate for praying and meditating. You have a number of pillows that are just there because you love it that way. And it is all decorated with fairy lights. When it gets darker, your room is illuminated with just the right amount of light. But when it's brighter, you have an appropriate amount of covering to let just a little light in. This is how special your little corner can turn out to be!

Image result for personal space

No Personal Space At Home

When your parents start invading your personal space, it is time to pay attention. They, at times, get uncomfortably close to you but being direct isn't really helpful. There are several things that you can do about it. Therefore, think before speaking whether the issue is even worth bringing up. If you think that the intrusion is pretty unmanageable, do the following and make everyone respect your personal space.

How To Live With Parents As An Adult?

#1. Demand Your Personal Space

The more you demand your personal space, the more you ought to give it out too. Personal space is important for each and every person in the family. Ones who are living with joint families understand how essential it is to not only demand personal space but even respect the same. It is an appreciable gesture, and you will have to make it clear to your parents that this time-off (no family time) is necessary.

Sometimes, you'll even have to say it directly. So, let them know that you love them, but you don't like them being in your bubble all the time. Their room is theirs, and your room is yours!

Image result for mom spying on daughter

#2. Accept The Differences

From what you eat to what you say and what you want, everything between your parents and you will differ. But this does not mean that someone is right, and the other is wrong. It simply means that each person is entitled to live the way they want. Respect and value each other's preferences to live a peaceful life.

#3. Treat Each Other Like Roomies

Yes, that's what you all are and should be. This phase of your life is very much different from the ones you have lived before. Acting like roommates put things in a much easier way. Instead of behaving like kids and parents, you are treating each other on an equal basis which is somewhat super awesome. It offers that needed space for all of you to grow.

#4. Discuss The Boundaries

Boundaries relating to personal space and privacy are what you need to set while being at home. For instance, if your parents are still in the habit of asking you every time where you are going and who you are going with, then this needs to be changed. This habit while you were a teenage made sense, but not anymore. Sex and relationship are other two topics that can be awkward to discuss. Therefore, there are a lot many questions that need to be answered when it comes to setting up the boundaries.

#5. Be Respectful Of Their Wishes

You should understand that parents are not your children. No matter how much they love you, it's still their house. If you do not like the television program that they are watching, either politely ask them to change or simply walk away. Stop bumping into each other's likes and dislikes. You are an independent adult, go buy another television or watch series online.

#6. Give A Gentle Reminder That You Are An Adult

If they are acting like typical parents, then it is absolutely fine to give them gentle reminders. You need to let them know on and off that you are not a kid anymore. But make sure you do not piss them off in an already stressful situation. 

It is totally your right to tell them how you feel and how they should be treating you. If they still are not listening, then you have no choice, and you need to seek out for some other kind of arrangements.

#7. Do Not Feed Or Create Arguments

When you know the three (you and your parents) of you cannot come in harmonious terms on a certain topic, it's better to not create havoc and keep concentrating on the positive side of your viewpoint. Let them first put their side forward. Listen to them properly. 

However, the rate of your success would depend on the type of parents you have. If they have always been dictatorial, then you'll have a hard time convincing them on your viewpoints. Living with parents as an adult sometimes hurts your self-esteem when they still consider your thoughts as immature and not credible enough. If they keep on disagreeing, do not force but just walk away!

#8. Don't Consider Living With You Parents Unless You Don't Share A Great Bond

You should only consider the decision of staying at home when you are 100% sure about it. Analyse the kind of relationship you share with your parents and only then, think about living with your parents as an adult. Make an honest assessment on the basis of how good is the understanding amongst all of you. 

If you have an option and none of you share an affectionate bond, then it's better to regard other options. Rent an apartment, share a room with your best friend or just take up an option that appears feasible for you. But in case you find it easier to deal with the everyday happenings of living with parents, and you can fulfill their expectations, then just follow the above-mentioned advice and maintain that personal space without hindering your own mental peace.

#9. Exit Plan

You don't have to abruptly end any conversation but just have an exit plan prepared in your mind beforehand. Neither do you have to fight, nor you have to throw tantrums. You just need to strategically exit from the entire scene, and that's your only defense plan.

Liked what you just read? Want to read more such informational and interesting stuff? Or would you like to share any of your personal experiences/ opinions? Let us know through the comment section below. We would love to hear from you!

(Image Courtesy: 1. The Eyeopener, 2. Slate, 3. CNBC, 4. US News, 5. NBC News; Reader's Digest (Featured Image Courtesy)

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