Love is easy to spell, difficult to define and impossible to live without. Love is that divine feeling we get by being in the presence of the special someone. The world has associated all the good things with love. Remember how you got the butterflies in your stomach when you first fell in love. It is the most ethereal feeling anyone can ever have.
But love isn't always perfect. It is not a fairytale or a storybook fact and it does not always come easy. A few imperfections do come in the picture perfect world we create. We happen to hurt each other at times. Intentional or not, but it is a scientifically proven theory that we hurt the one we love. Love is work but most of all, it is realizing every second was worth it because you did it together. Let us find out why we hurt the one that is embedded deep in our hearts.
#1. Because We Actually Want To
There can be any number of reasons to feel the heat inside the heart and get all angry after a difficult day. In our life, we go through so much that the reason of our frustration remains a mystery by the end of the day. We become angry and frustrated by ourselves. When we are furious, we unconsciously try to destroy the good things that we have in life. Love is the best thing we have, and we aim to destroy it. So when we are trying to hurt the one we love, we actually try to in fact hurt ourselves. That is the inner mechanism behind this irrational behaviour.
#2. Expectations Not Being Met
Expecting is a dangerous emotion in a relationship, and when done to an excess, it eats away the fruit of love that we grew with care. When we love someone and spend so much quality time with them, we start expecting certain things from them. Not always do we get what we expect. At times we expect just too much. We hope that they will fulfill all our unreal dreams because we could never get them by ourselves. We hope that they would do so in return for the love we invest in them. Because the expectations are high, the better half usually fails to reach them and hence the disappointment. This gives us a natural instinct to make them pay for their failure.
#3. Too Much Honesty
"Honesty is the best policy", we have been reading since school. That is what we want from our partners too. We want them to be blunt with us about the reality and let us know if we are going on the wrong path. They have to be the one to tell us the harsh truth even if it hurts our sentiments. Even though we know they are saying the right thing, it still hurts to accept it. The pain that we go through makes us short tempered and show anger in our reactions.
#4. Lack Of Misunderstanding
Feeling misunderstood is the most common emotion when we are in love. We start doubting if the other person knows us at all. We see things in a different way but somehow our way of looking at the world seems to be the right one. We just want our partner to get into our head and know what we feel. We fail to understand why they have a different set of mind. They fail to see the things that are so plain and obvious for us. But it is not so for them. It just needs a little understanding how you both have different perceptions.
#5. Failing To Correct Their Annoying Habits
We spend so much time together with the one we love, we almost feel part of the same body. They have some habits that irritate the hell out of us, but at the end of the day, we cannot really do anything about it except telling them to change it. It is true that we hold them dear to our hearts, but sometimes we just cannot tolerate them. That is because they do not function the way we want them to. We take it as our duty to correct all their follies. It is when they do not respond the way we want, we burst out our agitation.
#6. Unwilling To Understand The Other
Not only do we feel misunderstood, but we also mistake what our partner wants to convey. We are not even willing to put some special efforts in knowing their needs. We are in agony because of our own shortfalls of life that we miss out on what they are going through. We are dealing with the burdens of our own life, so we are not always ready to help them with theirs.
#7. Influenced By Surroundings
The shows we watch and the movies we love have a great deal of impact on our minds. The melodramatic love stories always ending in hate and revenge mould our minds into thinking that it is the way things are supposed to be. Watching our favorite actress portray a role of damsel in distress we never think beyond the storylines. It affects our mind without us noticing it. So much so that we copy the patterns without realizing. We tend to think that hurting each other is a part of love. Feeling hurt is just another form of being in love too.
#8. They Know Our Weaknesses
Having spent so much time with our lover, they know us through and through. They know our strengths and our weaknesses too. When it comes to disagreements, they can easily point out our shortcomings. We do not always like that behavior, and we act out. We put a mask of our another self in front of the world, but with them, it's all in plain words. We cannot be a fake better version of ourselves when they are there. We hate the fact why they know us so much.
#9. We Want To Comfort Afterwards
If everything is happy, the good things will lose their meaning. Subconsciously, we act in a bad way with our partner so that we can make them feel better later. We assume that even if we make them feel sad with our words, we can deal with the situation later, and make them smile again. We love them a lot, and therefore we always end up making things beautiful like they were before no matter how worse they were in the first place.
#10. Not Fearing Consequences
There is a reason that we are still with them after all the disagreements, it is because they truly never leave our side. In fact, we know that when we burst out in frustration, it will not make them go away from us. We feel comfortable taking out the angst of our hardships on them. We can blame them for our misfortunes and go back to apologizing and loving them the next day. We know we can rely on them for making us feel better by taking it out on them.
Let us know if you have any other reason of why we hate the ones we love? We would love to know your stories.
Also, you can let us know how you felt on reading this, do leave a reply in the comment section. We would love to hear from you.
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