How to Overcome the Fear of Rejection?

1,625 Views Updated: 12 Nov 2017
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How to Overcome the Fear of Rejection?

There is no denying the fact that rejection hurts. Whether you talk about business, relationship or any other aspect of our life, it always hurts to have yourself or just your ideas discarded by somebody else. It can undermine your confidence and make you start to doubt yourself. However, rejection is something that you cannot avoid in life. Whether you are applying for admission to your favorite college, asking the girl you like so much out on a date or proposing a highly ambitious business project, turn downs are a part of life. And that is not the real problem. It becomes grieve when you start to develop the fear of rejection and wonder how to overcome this fear of rejection.

When you start fearing rejection, you start to refrain yourself from even trying for the things that you would like to achieve in life. Negative thoughts take you over, and you begin to believe that it is better for you to not even try than getting rejected.

If this seems like the story of your life, then we urge you to change the way you do things. Do not let this phobia, fear of rejection drag you down and keep you from achieving all the great things that you are meant to. Today, we are not here just to push you to deal with your phobias; we are also going to talk to you about how you can overcome the fear of rejection. So, if you made up your mind to move past this feeling and make your life awesome, then here is how you do it.

Overcome The Fear Of Rejection


#1. Stay Calm And Rational

The fear of rejection finds its origin in our emotions and not in the brain. And in difficult situations, when we are not feeling too confident about ourselves, it is pretty easy to get carried away and let the emotions take control of us. In order to react appropriately to the situation, it is therefore important to remain calm and keep a check on our emotions. If you let your emotions get the best of you, it might even increase your chances of getting rejected.


#2. Maintain A Journal

Journalizing is one of the best tricks for cognitive reflection and development as it provides an opportunity, a place for you to document your doubts, fears, ideas, and thoughts, and reflect upon them. Maintaining a journal is not only a great way to blow off your steam but also an effective way to understand your emotions and deal with them. Whether it is a breakup that has dented your confidence in self or rejection from a university, just write down whatever it makes you feel. You will be surprised by how much this small trick can help you in becoming emotionally stronger.

Here are some other tricks that will help you become emotionally strong and independent!

#3. Contemplate How The Fear Developed

Typically there is a reason that we fear something. In most cases, it is a negative experience of the past that is making us believe that nothing good is going to come our way if we try the same thing again. For instance, getting turned down by a girl you like can make you think that you are not good enough. This can then develop into the fear that you will get rejection and feel worthless again if you propose another girl. This fear is perhaps a defense mechanism, merely doing its work to protect us from being hurt again. However, in the process, it is also keeping us from happiness. Knowing how you developed the fear of rejection can be immensely helpful in dealing with the phobia itself. So, try understanding the root of this fear.


#4. Start Seeing Rejection As An Opportunity

There is a saying that when one door closes, another one opens. Make it your motto in life for dealing with rejection. When you do not get something that you strived for, it does not mean that you did not really deserve. This can simply mean that you are destined for something even better. Take a look at all the rejections you have faced in your life. Did every single one of them set you back in life? If the person you like has rejected you, then perhaps there is somebody even better waiting for you out there. If your business proposal has been rejected, then maybe there is another more profitable one just waiting for you to snatch it. So, even if rejection comes your way, remember that you are capable enough to do or find something even better the next time.

#5. Take It As A Learning Experience

Though rejection can lower your morale and make you feel worthless, every rejection is a learning experience. A failed presentation at work can help you understand what you did wrong and do it better the next time. Every rejection in our life teaches us something, from failing at an interview and rejected scholarship attempt to getting fired from work. Therefore, being turned down is not something to lose your nights’ sleep; it is a chance, a chance for you to grow, improve as a person and become a better and advanced version of yourself. In addition to that, also remember that there can be more than one ways to get to a destination.


#6. Identify Alternatives

When we get rejected, it is too easy to fall prey to the thinking of all-or-nothing. Then we start to assume that the reason behind this rejection is that we are inferior. What you have to do is figure out reasons, the alternatives that you face rejection. In most cases, there are valid causes for us to face rejection. But if you keep this phobia, the fear of rejection keeps you from thinking rationally; you will never be able to handle your emotions.

Do you think that everybody else is superior to you? Do you have the inferiority complex? Do you know how to deal with it? Find out here!

#7. Focus On Your Goals

The simplest way to overcome the fear the rejection is to get your attention away from the phobia and focus on what you want to achieve. Our fears can keep us from enjoying things that could introduce so much pleasure and joy to our lives but being afraid of rejection; we do not even try such things and end up living too much less potential. What if you get rejected? Is the achievement not even worth it to take the chance of getting rejected? To help build your confidence, you can break your goals into smaller parts or steps. The only thing you have to give importance to is getting to your goal anyhow. The obstacles, failures, and rejections that may come in your way are going to be worth it when you finally get to your destination.


#8. Stop Expecting Rejection

Still wondering how to overcome the fear of rejection? Stop dwelling on the fact that you are going to get rejected. Most of the times, it is our negative thoughts that make our life miserable and not the negative circumstances that we may be facing. Therefore, to deal with the fear of refection, start to believe that you are never going to get rejected and everything is going to fall into place. Some positive self-talk here can do wonders for you. Look into your eyes in the mirror and tell yourself that nothing can stop you from achieving your target. When we expect rejection, we find rejection even when there is none.

#9. Become Resilient

Successful people are always resilient. It is not like they have not failed at anything they tried in their life or no one ever rejected them or their ideas. But they did not let those rejections turn into self-doubt and eat away their belief in themselves. They embrace the adversity in their life and bounce back even higher than before.


#10. Get Rejected

What better way to overcome the fear of rejection than getting a rejection. Remember how one situation ceases to affect you when you are consistently exposed to it? That is what you can do with the fear of rejection. Face your fear; do things that make you think that you will get rejected. There are chances that you will not be rejected but even if you do, it will help you understand the feelings and become emotionally stronger in the long run.

In life, perhaps the only thing you should fear is fear itself. Rejection is nothing new. We and everyone else face if at every point in life. The most popular guy at your school, who always gets the girl he wants, might just get rejected when he applies to college, and the guy, who is always studying might fail when it comes to making friends. Every single one of us gets rejected in one aspect of life or the other. But this does not mean that we stop trying. The fear is to be overcome, and you have been told how to overcome the fear of rejection.

Did you like what you just read? Want to share a few tips of your own on overcoming the fear of rejection phobia? Use the comment box below and help readers who are afraid of rejection.

(Image Courtesy: 1. Anawaz Technologies, 2. Huffington Post, 3. DoubleDutch, 4. Milrich Associates, 5. By Ritchie Gibson; Poer of Positivity (Featured Image Courtesy)
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Answer

Rejection is inevitable in life and you will never come across somebody, no matter how successful they
are, who has never been rejected. While rejection is common in life, it can break you and kill your
confidence in self, making you believe that you are good for nothing. The worst part of it is that it hits
you the hardest when you do not even expect it. So, how do I overcome the fear of rejection? I keep it
simple; I do not expect much or get my hopes high. Because if it is the expectations that are hurting us
the most, then why keep them. I do not even think much about what results my actions are going to
reap. I just do things and move on from one thing to another no matter the result. I believe, keeping
yourself busy is the key here. When, after a failure, you cease everything and start contemplating what
went wrong, why did you not achieve your target and why you failed, you begin to feel depressed. I do
not waste time in that. What I do is I find something to blow off my steam and then I get back to getting
things done.  
Rejection is not really bad. It is all in our mind. Since our childhood, we have been taught to see some
things as bad or negative and others as good or favorable. Maybe it was our elders who programmed us
that way or perhaps the movies. But whatever it is, there is a need to erase that programming, wipe the
slate clean and start processing the emotions in a healthy way. Just consider rejection to be an
experience. You tried your hand at something and you got one of the two results that were possible. As
simple as that! It is when we start thinking about why we failed, why we were not good enough, will we
ever be good enough for anything. It is questions like these that start taking over the control of our
psyche.  
If the above option does not work for you, then perhaps this one will. All of us tend to use our
imagination to contemplate the future where bad things happen to us and we are always stuck in the
worst case scenario. This kind of negative thinking is what we need to take care of. Instead of thinking
about all the things that could go wrong, you can wonder about what would happen if all the things go
exactly as you planned. Imagining the perfect future where nothing unfavorable happens with you will
maybe give you the confidence to just act. Because that is all you need to do. Just carry out the tasks you
are supposed to and you will wait for good things to happen to you.  
The last tip that I would like to suggest you to overcome your fear of rejection phobia is to stop trusting
yourself. I know it sounds weird but read me out. If you brain keeps on telling you that you are going to
fail and that is keeping you from doing something, then what good is it? If you cannot change the way
your mind thinks, then stop believing it. It is not always right. It gets things wrong every now and then
and this could be another occasion when it is wrong. Maybe you will not fail this time, maybe this is the
time your life takes a u turn to end all the series of unfortunate rejections. Who knows!
The fear of rejection phobia is what you need to fear in your life, not the rejection. It is okay. Everyone
has ups and downs in their life and if this is your down, so what? You will move on from it. Just
remember, you have to keep going. Quitting is the worst thing that could happen. 

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