Being a father or mother to a child is an overwhelming, but a heavenly experience. Every parent wants to protect their child from everything that's hurting them, especially their self-confidence and self-esteem. As parents, when the time comes for your child to get in a school, the first thought that conceives our mind is the fear of bullies. No one wants their child to be bullied, and we take the necessary precautions to ensure your child's safety.
Every parent, in the back of their mind, is stuck with anxiety about whether their child will blossom as a bright child and top in his/her class, or get picked by a bully. Most of us are always on the lookout for bullies, but it never strikes our mind that our own child can be what we are looking for. If you believe bullying is evil, what would you do if you find out your child is a bully? Will you admit the truth and do something about it or let it be as it is? Before you try to find the evil inside others, ensure it doesn’t hide inside you.
It’s not bad if your child is a bully, but it’s really bad if you don’t do something about it. If your child is a bully, it’s not because they like to bully others, it’s because they have learned it from you, and your ignorant behavior supported them.
All said and done; it’s never too late to mend your guide your child to follow the right path. But, how would you find out if your child is a bully? Bullies are not from any specific religion, race, or ethnicity; so how to find if your child is a bully and stop the harmful acts that their child is perpetrating on innocent children?
Bullying is related to psychology, and there are certain indicators that raise the red flag about your child being a bully. In most cases, a child becomes a bully because he/she is suffering from mental or physical abuse at their homes.
Below are certain indicators to help you identify if your child is a bully:
#1. Has Trouble Sleeping
According to a study by the University of Michigan, conducted with 341 children claims that kids suffering from sleep disorders are more likely to display bullying nature. So, if your little one is having trouble sleeping without any reason, they can be bullies.
It would be better if you take your kid to any psychiatrist or a kids specialist for a checkup before the problem grows, leading to problems.
#2. Have Behavioural Issues
Children with hotheads, impulsive nature get frustrated easily, and these are the three primary behavioral traits of a bully. The kids get easily frustrated if things don’t work according to them because of their controlling nature. Moreover, your child will lack empathy and compassion towards emotions of others as they don’t care. They will easily get angry on adults in the house and often get into physical fights with them. The problem with bully kids is that they have a controlling nature, they want to control everything, even the outcome of any given task, and when things don’t work out their way, they get frustrated.
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#3. Has Low Self-Esteem
According to the renowned psychiatrist, Mary. C Lamia, for a bully, attacking others is a response mechanism. When your child feels psychologically endangered and incompetent against the rest, he (she) uses aggression to get rid of the feeling.
Bullies have a low self-esteem which arises due to their destructive upbringing and lack of proper love and support by the parents. They feel bad about themselves, but the problem is that they don't want to face the truth and attacking others keeps them from looking inside themselves.
If your kid has a low self-esteem, then you must identify the cause of their low self-esteem and try to help them improve their self-esteem. Consult a specialist if need be.
#4. Your Child Gets Into Trouble At School
If you receive constant calls from the principal of your child about their behavior, and your child often gets into a fist fight with his/her peers, this is clearly the red signs. Your child is suffering from behavioral issues, you might be dealing with a bully kid.
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#5. Lacks Parental Attention
Somewhere in the back of their mind, you know you're not giving your child the time that he/she deserves from your side. Lack of parental attention or lack of proper disciplinary rules at home is often associated as the cause for the growth of bullying in the child. So, if you feel your child is displaying signs of bullying, start spending time with your kids and enforce some disciplinary rules.
#6. Your Child Is Obsessed With Popularity
If your child constantly tries to gain your or their peers attention or is fixated on being popular to the point of obsession, it's better to deal with the obsession before your child becomes a bully. Your child’s obsession with popularity is a way to compensate for the lack of parental attention at home.
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#7. Your Child Has Aggressive Friends
Bullying can be due to the wrong company of your child. If your child is having friends who are aggressive or mean-spirited, or if they exhibit some or the other signs of bullying, they can be the reason for your child being a bully. As soon as you find out that your child is in the wrong fellowship, talk to them about it and befriend them with good kids.
#8. You Two Don't Get Along Well
Bad parenting leads to bullying, but things can get better if the child is exposed to good parenting. Children do what they learn, and are more likely to bully others, if they are receiving the same kind of treatment from their parents at home. The best way to prevent your child from being a bully is to have a good relationship and talk openly with kids about their problems.
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#9. They Are A Victim Of Violence At Home Or School
If a child is subjected to violence at home by their parents, they start believing that they are a nuisance to their parents and take out their frustration on other kids. Moreover, your child might be a victim of bullying themselves and might be bullying others to retaliate from the shame.
Lack of awareness about the consequences that bullying leads to, or prior experience of any mental or physical abuse in school or at home can make your child adopt bullying.
Be soft with your kids, and protest actions of other members of the family which are morally incorrect and might leave a negative impact on your kids.
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#1. Be calm and don’t take any destructive step
#2. Talk to them about their behavior and solve their difficulties
#3. Explain to your child the consequences of their behavior towards other kids
#4. Teach them to show sympathy and compassion towards others
#5. Make your expectations clear
#6. Spend time with them and give them proper love and support, both physical and mental
#7. Set the example at home and praise your child when they show compassion for others
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The best way to stop your child from hurting other kids and preventing them from being a bully is to never let it happen in the first place.
Parents need to adopt proactive methods to deal with their kids and restrict their bullying nature. But, as observed in most cases, parents start punishing their child by alienating them or taking severe measures for their behavior. Parents need to understand that there is more than what meets the eye, and they should teaching their child to befriend the kids who stand up against bullying and protect the victim.
If you, as a parent, need some help, there are plenty of options. Talk to a child psychiatrist, join the Parent Association and ask for training on signs and symptoms and how to start a prevention program with the kids. If your child is a bully, the primary reason is you, their parent. Parents can and have to play a significant role in stopping the unacceptable behavior in their kids. Take a stand against bullying now.
We hope you liked the article. Let us know your suggestions on the matter using the comment section.
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Bullying is bad and it’s worse when your own child is accused of bullying. Whenever you find out
that your child is a bully, your mind instantly gets into thoughts about whether you should punish
them or use any other method to correct them. Clearly, punishment is not a solution if you can’t
use them in a constructive manner, or else it’s going to worsen the situation rather than solving
the problem.
Then what to do? Nothing is more unsettling than learning that your child is a bully. In fact, no
parent in this world wants to receive calls from the school or from another parent and hear that
her (his) child has been bullying other kids. It hurts knowing that your own flesh and blood is
causing mental and physical pain to other kids, as much as if your own kid was a victim.
So, what is the right way to punish your bully child or discipline them?
Address the bullying immediately or the delay will provoke your kid to commit such acts
again and again. When you get a call, wait for them to come back home, take them in an isolated place and
confront them privately about their acts. Confronting them in public might feel like a humiliation
for them and they might take it negatively. Determine the root cause in order to what is supporting this behavior in your child. Some
causes are too common, yet we fail to notice them. Remind your child that bullying is a choice. Teach them to adopt other alternatives to deal
with their problems rather than taking this destructive step. Tell them bullying is bad, and be
consistent with your comments. Develop logical consequences of bullying. Like if bullying is taking place in school, cut out
their pocket money or TV time for a week. Don’t raise your hands on the child or use any means of violence, instead, take away their
privileges one by one after every complaint. Threat them of taking severe consequences if need
be, but makes sure they take it in a constructive manner. Enforce a disciplinary plan in your house and ask everyone to follow it, no matter who the
family member is. If you’re asking your child not to raise hands on others, you should be
following the same rules and make others follow the same. Teach your child new skills that can help them regain their lost self-esteem and help them
face their emotions and overcome them. Lately, parents have started shaming their kids as a way of disciplining them. Avoid shaming
your child because it’s not going to help. Concentrate on instilling empathy within your child. Teach them to be respectful towards
others feelings. Prevent future bullying incidents with your child.Enroll your child into anger management classes or give them some anger management
lessons yourself. Aware them of some popular examples of people who failed to control their
anger and what were the consequences.