Passive aggression is not a disease but a condition. A person involved in passive aggressive behavior is no different from any of us. They just can’t keep a check on their flaws and keep repeating it intentionally or unintentionally.
This behavior is characterized by stubbornness, forgetfulness, sullenness, and opposition. Such symptom in employees can be traced with their negligence towards the assigned work, procrastination, intentional insufficiency and ignorant behavior towards senior authorities.
As per psychology, passive aggressive behavior is a psychological disorder caused due to external factors that affect the person internally. It may stem out from traumatic childhood experiences.
Families where kids were not allowed to express their feelings and opinions freely often channelized their aggression and frustration through passive means. Few of the ways they tend to use to show their aggression are sarcasm, silent treatment, withholding of intimacy or praise, being overly critical, sabotaging or missing the good things, or not behaving expectedly.
At some point or the other, we do come across as someone with the mentioned traits. Here’s a list of ways guiding you on how to deal with such people:
#1. Identifying the Traits
The most important of all is to determine the traits. It can be done with keen observation and by keeping a constant check on the behavior of the person. World known Psychologist, Wetzler suggests that the behavior can be defined as a “sugarcoated hostility.” So, next time you come across someone who is incredibly sweet to you, just know that he might not be all honest about it!
#2. Talk Straight And Clear
It is highly important to be very clear and straightforward with people suffering from passive aggressive behavior. They often tend to cause intentional diversions to avoid confrontations. Telling them from time to time that they were wrong or their behavior was inappropriate will help them address their issues. Calling a spade a spade might be of help.
#3. State The Limits
It is important to state limits to people who tend to procrastinate or postpone purposely. Making them aware of your limits which when crossed won’t be accepted is recommended. For instance, reminding them of the deadlines and the outcomes they might have to deal with if late would have an enormous impact on these people.
#4. Assertive Communications
It is always advised to be calm and patient around people suffering from passive aggression. An assertive communication expresses your feelings without being aggressive. One can express and opine without blaming or accusing the other person. Passive aggressive behavior is already characterized by low self-esteem and a dying self-confidence, so by blaming the person further would only make them lie or stay silent. Giving them the space to express and talk is the best way to deal with the situation.
#5. But What If You Start Behaving Similarly?
Psychologists suggest “Mindfulness” is the only solution. Being self-aware of the behavioral changes that you feel in yourself is the most important. It is only once you are aware that you can start working on getting it off your system. Listen to your voice and take action. Do not perform according to what others expect of you to such an extent that you losses out on your individuality.
Anger is not as unhealthy or harmful as it sounds at times. It does have some positive impacts too. It helps a person express his true self and making the other aware of their mistakes. But using passive means to express it often causes self-sabotage. So, if you are angry or upset about something it is advisable to address it and let others know of it.
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