What to do when you're Committed but Like Someone Else?

5,919 Views Updated: 30 Sep 2017
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What to do when you're Committed but Like Someone Else?

If you are in a happy, committed relationship with your partner, it is most likely that you start having feelings for someone else. Is it normal? Yes, it is perfectly normal. While you are involved with somebody that you love, being attracted to other people does not count as cheating. It’s normal to be attracted to other people sometimes.

In fact getting attracted or being desired by someone else helps you boost your confidence. If you are attracted to someone else and are able to hold your desires, it’ll definitely give you an assurance of being stable. And if this is not your case, reconsider your relationship.

If you find yourself constantly involved in admiring or lusting over people that you meet, you may not be satisfied in your current relationship.

Having A Crush While In A Relationship

How tricky is this?

One day you are happily ensconced with your partner and the other you suddenly find yourself attracted to someone else. That someone else could be at your work with whom you spend a lot of time, or maybe he/she is a friend, who has been there in front of you for so many years.

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(Image Courtesy: The Skills)

Having feelings for someone else while in a committed relationship is a problem that a lot of us have dealt with. Studies suggest that almost half of the people already involved in serious relationships are attracted to other people. Flirting a little has never done any harm until it evokes signs of more than just lust.

You can be attractive to somebody because they make you laugh and making your day lighter easier or maybe that you are just bored with your partner and want some change. These feelings can sometimes be helpful in telling you that you need to change something in your relationship. 

Can Having Feelings For Someone Ruin Your Relationship?

Being attracted to someone outside your relationship can affect your relationship negatively if you find the distraction to be delicious and irresistible. Once you start liking someone, it is near to impossible to take them off your mind suddenly. You notice everything they say and do, and therefore spending time with them becomes the best of your day. You might even start fantasizing about what it would feel like to be close to them. If your fantasies include being in a relationship with them or enjoying sexual intimacy, then it is a serious concern.

Things get intricate when you find yourself attracted to a close friend, especially if they happen to be a mutual friend of you and your partner. The question of should I tell my partner about it or not spill the beans will keep popping in your head every time you look at that beautiful face.

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(Image Courtesy: Relationship Reality)

The best thing to do is to not beat yourself for having these feelings in the first place. The frustration and confusion caused by such issues can lead to difficulties in your relationship.  

But if you think that the feelings are not very prominent and it is just the occasional flutter that makes you feel good, then we would advise you just to enjoy it.

There are some relationships where both the partners are very secure and relatively open-minded; it is easier to talk about their crushes. It can actually bring them closer to each other, good news; it might even sound sexy to your partner. But it can depend on whom your crush is on. Do not ever confess that you fancy their sister or mother. Some things are just better left unsaid!  

What To Do When You Like Someone Else?

Falling for someone else while in a relationship is natural to happen. It is ok to get attracted to somebody outside your relationship. If you think that this liking might get over your head, you better stop.

Here’s how you can stop liking someone when you are already in a relationship:

#1. Stay Calm

The first thing you need to do is to sit back and relax. You heard us right. Just relax because it is perfectly normal to be attracted to other people. Fancying or flirting with other people is part of acknowledging those people whom you find attractive. It is better to accept these feelings because we all are sensual beings and attraction comes naturally to us.

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Being in a loving and committed relationship doesn't stop you from getting attracted to other people.

#2. Be Honest With Your Boyfriend

Honesty is very important in any relationship so no matter what, you ought to be on good terms with your boyfriend, which can only come about when you stick to honesty. It is unfair being a fibber just because you harbor feelings for someone else. Wearing your heart on sleeves can atrophy the tension you are going through. It often happens that one goes through the motions of passing infatuation, so one must remain cool, calm and collected without laying a guilt trip. Also, if you share a comfortable relationship with your partner, it is good to tell them that you like someone else, but be smart about it. You can tell him that you find someone at your workplace "cute", but he is not as "cute" as him. The ability to admit about your attraction to other people reflects on your healthy relationship.

#3. Resist The Temptation To Flirt

Healthy flirting is good until it does not harm your relationship. But it gets dangerous if it intoxicates your relationship. If you feel that your attraction might convert into a desire, it is better to stop yourself. Focus on your partner and try to ignite the lost spark again. Plan a romantic date or spend some quality time with him/her to bring back your focus. Do whatever the two of you enjoy doing the most. Take a weekend off together, and strengthen your bond. It will help you to nip your attraction to another man in the bud.

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(Image Courtesy: Love Panky)

#4. Consider Your Relationship

If you feel content, secure and satisfied with your relationship, your attraction to another man/woman is nothing to worry about. However, if you feel that this attraction is taking you away from your partner because you think that you deserve better, or that you didn’t make the right choice, you might be having deeper issues in your relationship. Talk to your partner about your feelings and figure a way out. 

Being attracted to someone outside your committed relationship will cause you no harm until you know your boundaries. A little flirting and hanging out with other people will only help you boost energy in your relationship. Just be honest with your partner and keep enjoying these little moments of fun and excitement. 

Do you think that it is okay to like or fall for someone when you are in a relationship? Let us know in the comment section below.

(Featured Image Courtesy: Dating Tips)

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