What makes us click: how online dating shapes our relationships

1,179 Views Updated: 13 Jun 2018
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Although it seems hard to believe, there was once a time when online dating was frowned upon as a poor relation of the offline version. The popular myth was anyone having to resort to using their computer to contact potential dates was only doing so because they’d been unsuccessful elsewhere. Of course, with new sites and apps being launched all the time, the truth of the matter is online dating is far from being some sort of indicator of desperation. All sorts of people are drawn to this platform, enthused by its convenience, and the fantastic range of possibilities a top online dating site can offer its clients. So how have our relationships been shaped by the advent of technology?

Marginalized groups

Society’s more marginalized individuals have particularly embraced online matching services. For anyone seeking a same-sex relationship, or partners with a niche interest, or someone with a similar disability, a diverse array of web platforms out there are catering for all manner of tastes. Anyone identifying as having a background that might be considered outside of the mainstream, whether that’s fetishism or any one of countless possibilities for that matter, can find a haven where they are free to communicate with others on the same wavelength, safe in the knowledge their messages will be secure.


Internet dating has created a far more relaxed atmosphere where singles are concerned. In the offline world, meeting up with a stranger in a blind date situation, or by chatting them up in a crowded social setting like a nightclub or bar, could be a fraught experience. Nowadays people can plan their relationships from the convenience of their own homes, getting to know potential partners informally, exchanging messages as they relax on their daily commute. This fits in perfectly when individuals have increasingly busy schedules.

Dating is no longer a subject to be approached with trepidation. Remember how you used to fret about whether or not there would be the second date? Perhaps there was a degree of mind games involved during your face-to-face encounters? With website or app dating you are firmly in the driving seat. You have the power to decide who you’d like to make a connection with from the range of profiles you browse through. You can take as long as you wish getting to build a rapport.

Because the matchmaking is done online, users can take advantage of many sites or apps’ ability to whittle down the huge pool of talent at your fingertips. Built-in algorithms will ensure you only get matched with compatible partners. This cuts out a lot of the time wasted on pursuing wholly unsuitable individuals. When it comes to finding out more about the person you are connecting with via a dating resource, you will already have a heads-up about many of their qualities.

Because filters within dating sites like QuickFlirt or Loveaholics will ensure you are only presented with potential matches, you can approach your online conversations with much more confidence. You don’t have to ever worry about your potential date being out with your specified age range, or being religious to your atheist (or vice versa, or any other combination) or having an occupation you are uncomfortable with (perhaps you’d rather date a regular nine-to-five punter than someone who works offshore for weeks at a time.)

The point is, the option is there if you want to eliminate potential mismatches. Alternatively, some users prefer to cast a wide net and do the sifting out themselves. Online dating allows you to shape your relationship however you wish to.

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