I said it. I'm attracted to kids. But this, as far as I know, is not pedophilic. To confirm this, I once forced myself to look at pictures of kids in swimsuits and miniskirts on Google images to see if I'm sexually turned on by them and thankfully I wasn't.
What troubles me is the fact that (1) I tend to look at kids more than the average person(or atleast that's what I think) and (2) I perceive little girls cuter than little boys.
This is how I feel looking at cute kids: I feel like picking them up, rub noses, give a peck on the cheek and cuddle. I never get the desire to go sexual with them (even after I forced myself to as mentioned above)
Regardless of their gender, I like watching kids play in the park, sing in choirs and do sports. I sometimes watch funny funny videos of kids on YouTube.
My worries cause me a fair bit of trouble as well. I avoid looking at kids too much in social situations (in case someone finds me creepy). I act as if I have zero interest in kids and focus on talking with grown ups and do grown up stuff rather than entertaining kids ( though in my heart I wish I could be their best friend)
Is all this too unusual for a 21 year old guy? Is it wrong that I prefer a daughter? Should I be worried about all this? Would adults find it creepy if I choose to engage with kids more?