Have you heard the saying 'Words have power, but silence is more powerful'? Do you know it means? It probably suggests that sometimes, what we cannot express through words is expressed through silence. When we lose out on words to explain our feelings to someone, we give them the silent treatment.
Usually, the silent treatment is given when we are hurt and we think that words at that point of time will not be able to heal you. Good relationships are a blessing, but even good relationships suffer from several fights where either of you can get hurt. During those fights, one often says things that may hurt the sentiments of the other unintentionally. And any other word cannot heal the person, and the person does not feel like saying anything anymore, and then they resort to silent treatment. They will not talk to you or pick up your call or see you at all.
But why do partners fight at all? Reasons can be a million or even one reason can be enough to start a fight in a relationship. There may be some habit of your partner that annoys you the most and your partner wouldn’t change it. Your partner does not eat with etiquette; they do not clean their car, they may not remember that they were supposed to meet you and that annoys you. So, you may fight because of that one habit or there may be lots of such annoying habits.
One partner may feel less loved or get insecure because of which fights catch fire quickly. And silent treatment can become annoying for the partner facing it if it is stretched for too long. Silent treatment can also be bad for a relationship. This is how –
#. When you give your partner a silent treatment, you are inviting more problems to depress your relationship further. A lot of times, partners do not realize what wrong they have done, and if you do not tell them what has hurt you, then it will leave room for speculation and confusion. Your partner will not be able to do anything until they know what they have done.
#. If things do not get solved your partner will probably start lying to you because they would not dare to say anything that might offend you again and ultimately get another silent treatment. So, it is better to talk to them about what hurts rather than allowing your partner to speculate the reasons. If your partner is not able to speak their mind with you, then trust issues will arise for sure.
#. Your relationship now has trust issues and confusion. Your partner will find it better to ignore you and can ultimately decide to leave you. If you prolong the silence, because you are not in the mood, it can result at the end of your relationship because they find it hard to talk to you about anything.
It is your decision if you want to give your partner the silent treatment or not. You must be wondering now what should you do if your partner is giving you a silent treatment.
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#1. Talk! Talk! Talk!
The emphasis should be on communication. If you do not talk, then the issues that you have will grow bigger than they already are. It is very important to clear your misunderstandings before things turn uncomfortable for your relationship. Find the right moment to talk to your partner. They will avoid your messages and calls, but you have to make sure that you talk to them at any condition. Meet your partner and ask them what has hurt them so much. Unless you talk, the silent treatment will continue.
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#2. Apologize
When you get a chance to talk to them, do not wait for another minute to apologize to them. Ask for their forgiveness with all your heart. Try and make it up to them. Promise them that you will never repeat your mistake. Do not apologize only for what you said to them but also for the reason you were fighting. Tell them you took time to talk because you wanted to give them space.
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#3. Listen
You are not going to meet your partner only for asking them what hurt them or to tell that you are sorry. You have to listen to what they think about you. Do not make it only about the recent fight but talk about all the fights you have had, the future of your relationship. Listen to what they have to say about you and your place in their life. Know them know what you have been missing till now. Listen to all their complaints about you. Just pay attention to what they want to convey even if you do not understand.
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#4. Express Your Feelings
After listening to what they have to say to you about the relationship, tell them what you feel. A relationship works with mutual understanding, and the efforts have to be made by both of the partners. So it is your turn to express your feelings if you have not been expressive with them. If you do not do it today, then you may not get any better opportunity again. So make use of it and express your love for your partner. Tell them how much you love them and that offending them would be the last thing on your list. You care for your partner and show it to them. Show your concern, and your partner will definitely understand.
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#5. Be Consistent
If your partner says that they have forgiven you it does not mean that they got over it. Apparently, they will wait and observe everything that you do next. They will wait to see if you change or not. So do not just apologize and get over it. Change whatever made you and your partner fight and be consistent in that change. If you do it for a few days and start thinking that everything will be all right, then it won’t so keep practicing until it becomes a part of you. Changing for your partner does not mean that you change your personality, but it is changing some of your qualities that are making you a bad person. If you change then it will not be for them; it will be better for you even if they do not stay in your life forever.
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#6. Learn
Take the incident as a lesson life has given you. Learn from this episode and keep it in your memory forever. The fight made you look like a bad person and somewhere you became one. You cursed and got cursed. Fights do not give anything materialistic, but they do teach you lessons about the importance of being patient and being more expressive. It teaches you about your attitude and behavior. You get to know what makes you a bad person and then you can change it. You know what makes you good and you can keep that habit with yourself. It is not just about you it is also about your partner. You get to know how much you love your partner and what their qualities are. You get to know about their dislikes, what offends them and in the process of getting their apology, you will also learn what they like and what makes them happy.
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If you find this article beneficial or if you have any other way to break your partner’s silence then share with us through the comments section below.
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10 Opinions
We all give the famous silent treatment to our partners, which is the most torturous thing we can do to our partners but it is very important sometimes. When we give the silent treatment to our partner they get time to realize what wrong they have done. When the partner ignores and avoids you get an idea about how your life is without them and how important they are for you. The time that you get when your part6ner does not speak to you is very important to know the importance of a relationship. We often forget the meaning of a relationship and how to keep the love alive. So when you are no more in contact with your partner you understand what you are missing out and that you have to make a constant effort to keep the relationship going. ‘Distance makes the heart grow fonder’ and I believe this is true. If you have loved someone truly then you will miss them when they are gone and that tells you that you want them to stay. The case may be completely opposite. ‘Out of sight, out of mind’ is another phrase that speaks about distance but this means that if something moves away from your sight you forget about it. So if you forget about your partner when they are giving you the silent treatment that means you are not in love with them. This time is crucial for every relationship because it tells you if you really need them in your life or not. People these days try taking a break from each other to see if they want to continue their relationship. I cannot say how right or wrong that is but I can say a little distance for a little while can be helpful. The silent treatment If not prolonged can be beneficial for your relationship.